Resume

I got up really late for church this morning. I just kept hitting that snooze button. Apparently, after a certain point, the snooze button gives up. (I am serious about this. I've experienced it a couple of times, but I'm not sure what the magic number of snooze times is. I've been too tired catching just a few more moments to count it out.) So, I bolted awake at 8:55 and literally dashed through the shower. (I hate not getting a morning shower.) Somehow, I managed to make it downtown by 9:17. We typically start at 9:15, but I don't think we started until 9:20 or so today.

Today's sermon was on serving. If you read the previous two posts, you'll notice that is something I am struggling a bit with. It isn't a lack of desire to serve. I think I have that. But, for the moment, I feel as if I've been benched. While God is working on some things, it's not necessarily fun. Some days are better than others. I was feeling pretty up going into church even though I was rushed. I struggled as I walked out.

I can come up with a lengthy resume of service going back to my junior high days and working in the church nursery. I've taught various ages of Sunday School kids, helped as a Young Life Leader while in college, volunteered with a kid in the local residential treatment center for five years, . . . . I've served in the church and out of the church. I've helped individuals in various ways. I've watched kids so parents can go out, though some of the kids have outgrown me at this point. So, I'm not even doing that much anymore.

So, I have a resume, but I don't think I ever thought that it would save me. I still don't believe that it will or would or whatever. But today, I was painfully aware of not having some role. Perhaps that is the crux of the matter. I've too often found my identity in what I do rather than whose I am.

Whose I am is more important than what I do. Pray that the knowledge of that would sink deep in my soul and that I can find joy in serving in the little things like clearing my neighbor's drive when it snows or praying quick prayers for people based on the books they buy (ex: various illnesses, grief, and such). I think that either they must be going through that or someone they care for is.

What I do should be a reflection of whose I am -- title or resume worthy or not.