Impossible Is Not A Word

I am an optimist when it comes to other people. While I wish it wasn't so, I tend toward negative thinking when it comes to myself. This is what I tell myself:

• "Things are never going to get better."
• "I am always going to struggle."
• "I can't do _________"
• "Why can't I do __________ right?"

Everything is impossible for me. I recently heard What Faith Can Do by Kutless. One of the lines says, "It doesn't matter what you've heard, impossible is not a word. It's just a reason for someone not to try."




Jesus proves the validity of this statement. From man's point of view it was

• impossible for a virgin to conceive a child
• impossible for the dead to rise
• impossible for a sinful man to find a find a way back to God.

Yes, all of that is impossible without God and a number of other documented things in the Bible.

Matthew 19:26 states "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

So when I look at myself and say that something is impossible, I am in some aspects correct. But it also means that my vision has gotten near sighted because it is so far from true when I turn my gaze upon God.

What seems impossible to you today? Where are you looking?

The Customer Is Always Right

I deal with the public in both of my jobs. Generally, I enjoy it. I like hearing their concern or want and figuring out a way to fix the problem or make them happy. Most of the time it is a good thing. But I am learning that customers can be a bit demanding. Okay, VERY demanding. They have bought into the idea that the "customer is always right." Why shouldn't they? That's what we've all been told over the years.

Even if we face a zillion self doubts a day, when we are in consumer mode, we are more than happy to believe that we are always right. It sounds great to automatically be in the "winner's" chair.

But it isn't really that the customer (myself included) is always right. It's more that the store doesn't want to lose our business because in most places there is always some place else we can shop. And, yes, customers sometimes point that out.

While the idea may wrangle customer loyalty, "the customer is always right" idea probably hurts us more than it helps us. It spills over into relationships. It spills over into the church. In the good ole' USA, if the pastor offends us one week or the worship leader's hair is too long or they expect us to volunteer in the nursery or whatever, we can go down two blocks and over one and find another church where we can stay until . . . .

And I am coming to the conclusion that maybe the "customer is always right" idea even comes into play with God. Maybe God says, "No" or "Wait" or whatever. I cajole and remind Him that I am waiting patiently. Yes, sometimes I even remind Him that I am waiting when He says "No" because surely He will change His mind. (Taking neither in context, I focus on the story in Matthew 7 about the man knocking on his neighbors door until the neighbor gives him bread rather than the verse in Numbers 23:19 that says, "Is God a man, that he should lie? Nor a son of man that he should change his mind?")

Sometimes, especially at my day job, there really is nothing I can do. Customers do not like this. Often their volume starts creeping up. Sadly, sometimes my volume sometimes creeps up with God. Maybe shouting might get His attention. But then there is the fact that I have never lost His attention. So, maybe a pique of anger and stamping feet might work.

Sometimes, I have to accept that the customer or God's beloved child is not always right. While God can do anything, it may not always be best for me. Fits of anger take me two steps away from God, while saying "I still want it, but I want You more" puts me right on the lap of a Father who loves me.

But it is hard to do. Father, help me trust you to know what is best for me.

The Elephant That Followed Me Home

Some people have cats and dogs follow them home. While I have cats and a dog, I picked each of them out and invited them home. They were not strays that followed me home.

Recently, I've come to the conclusion that a stray has followed me home. That might not be completely right. She's followed me not just home but from home to home. She's even followed me across state lines, to camp when I was in college, into graduate school, and on and on.

My stray is an elephant. After all these years, I should probably have a name for her. But I don't. Perhaps I should keep it that way. Like the proverbial elephant in the room, no matter how big she has gotten, I've tried to ignore her, pretend that she wasn't there. Largely, I haven't wanted to admit that she was there.

At least on one hand I have. On the other hand, I think I may have snuck her extra peanuts when the keeper wasn't looking. I've gone back and forth. The problem with that is that it has resulted in intermittent reinforcement. It's when an animal or even a person gets use to being rewarded for a certain behavior. Then, the behavior is asked for but no reward is forthcoming. It happens that way several times. Then, BOOM! The coveted reward is given. Psychologically, intermittent reinforcement is actually stronger than continuous reinforcement. The behavior can be elicited on the hope that a reward is forthcoming.

Many years ago, I heard a story about elephants. Evidently, when circus elephants are very young, a chain is put on their leg. They learn that they cannot break it. As they grow, the chain actually remains the same. As an adult, they could easily break it. But there is the catch. Because they have been conditioned from such a young age, they never realize that they are capable of breaking that chain. They unwittingly stay captive.

That elephant followed me home as early as grade school. I was a shy and socially awkward child. I was aware enough that I didn't have a clue as to how to relate to my peers that at the bus stop, on the bus, and every spare moment in class my nose was buried in a book. That continued into junior high and high school. But it grew.

In grade school, everyone went to lunch as a group. While I might have sat at the end of a table alone, you had to sit and eat. Tables were dismissed from the lunch room to that terrifying playground where I made occasional forays into hop scotch and four square or tag but more often than not, I found a spot to sit and read. In junior high and high school, the social pressure grew. Despite my mother's effort to provide a lunch (and she even asked what kind of sandwich we each wanted), I tossed that brown paper bag lunch rather than face the hostile lunch room territory. I retreated into an ever present book.

The elephant was that I was hopelessly inept at all things social, that no one would ever like me, that I was a loser.

Today, I can go into a restaurant and sit and eat alone. Though, I am typically armed with a book. I don't prefer it, but if I cannot find someone to go with me, I will even brave movies alone. (Too dark for a book there.) Put me in a purely social situation, even something as seemingly benign as church, and I may panic. Sometimes I hide it better than others. Sometimes I don't.

So, this elephant comes into play in two ways. She's followed me home, dogged me through life. (Sorry to mix metaphors or animals words on you, but it fits.) I've kept her fed with things like:

• What a stupid thing to say.
• You will never get this.
• I cannot believe you messed up again.
• Run, it simply isn't safe!

But maybe even more than that, I've believed that those chains are still there. Sometimes I try to look at truth, the things that God says about me. I am dearly loved child. But I think sometimes I put the emphasis on child rather than dearly loved. And child can offer up a connotation of helpless.

I'm not sure how, but the elephant needs to go. She needs to find a new home. Better yet, send her back from where she came. While she is comforting in her predictability, we would all be better off with her back there.

Not sure how you send an elephant packing, but maybe admitting the elephant is there, is the first step.

Forgiveness

I totally understand the concept of forgiveness. I really do. However, I still find it a struggle. Do you?

Recently there was (what in my opinion) was a major mix up. I do understand that it really was a misunderstanding. But, it still hurt my feelings in a major way. I've forgiven, but I find that it still hurts. I've prayed about it and it still hurts. It still makes me want to cry.

Maybe it is like a physical wound. It may have been accidental, but it may still physically hurt. I'm not angry. Just hurt. I'm not quite sure what to do with that hurt. But maybe like a physically injury it will go away with time.

Any thoughts?

Contentment -- Priceless

I know you've seen them -- those commercials for Visa.

• New shoes -- $20
• New dress -- $75
• New hairstyle with highlights -- $100
• Memories to last a lifetime -- Priceless.

Visa has our number. If $200 can promise something that is priceless, and will last a lifetime, of course we are going to buy.

I'm posting today at the Internet Cafe. Click here to finish reading this post.

I Would Have Made a Good Pharisee -- Hope Chronicles 90

For some reason, my favorite Bible characters have been on my mind of late. They include Josiah and Peter and Esther to name just a few. I've found my self perusing those and other stories. But as I've been doing that, I've felt the this question tingle at the edges of my mind. I've kind of wanted to keep it at the edges, but as sometimes happens, God wanted me to look at it. What is the question?

Great characters of faith, but which person in the Bible are you most like?

Sigh. I'm not as brave like Esther. I don't know that my heart is as sensitive to God's word as Josiah's. Peter jumped into the water and swam to shore even after he failed Jesus. I would have cowered in the boat.

Yes, but who are you most like?

It took awhile and came with humbling conviction. The Pharisees. Sigh. I don't want to be like them.

In Jesus day there were several prominent groups. One was the Sadducees. (I differentiated them from the other groups by their name and belief. They didn't believe in heaven so that made them "Sad you see." I came up with that in high school, so cut me some slack.) Then there were the Pharisees. (They wanted everything "Fair you see.") They were the rule keepers.

Honestly, I think that initially the Pharisees started out okay. They didn't want to break any of God's commandments. They were very careful about it. They decided to define all the possible ways of breaking a commandment. They then added to the law. In essence, they put up a zillion fences, things to do and not do, so that you wouldn't come close to breaking the law.

Problem: In the frenzy of building those fences, they lost sight of God and his people.

I like rules more than I want to admit. I'd rather be carefree and easy going. I like rules. They make me feel safe. They help me know what to expect and not expect. They give me boundaries at times when life feels out of control.

But just like the Pharisees, I lose sight of God. Yes, I may have my quiet time. I may be able to check any number of spiritual things off the list. But if my quiet time was just about the list, did I really meet with God?

Just like the Pharisees, I lose sight of God's people. Sometimes in relationships I am more concerned about being right or more concerned about what is fair than I am about the person. Take, for instance, my job at BN. I do enjoy it. I work hard. However, my dandruff gets up if I think I'm doing more work than so and so. I want it all to be fair. Sometimes I get so focused on a task, I lose sight of the people around me.

But there is hope. Saul was a Pharisee. He even held the others' cloaks as they stoned Stephen, a leader in the early church. He sincerely believed it was the right thing. He was very good at following rules. He expected everyone else to follow them too. Until one day, he was walking a long and Jesus appeared to him. He was blinded for several days. Then Jesus sent someone to heal Saul's eyes. From then on, Saul became Paul and became a leader in the early church. Talk about a 180!

Was Paul still a rule guy? I think that he probably was. However, he was also someone who had completely experienced grace. This allowed him to give grace to others even when they didn't follow the rules.

Yes, I would have made a good Pharisee. But as God shows us through Paul, God is more than capable to knock down some fences to bring hope to a heart.

15lbs and Counting!

I posted this exciting news on my Facebook page on Friday: I've lost 15lbs in 7 weeks. I had several people ask me how -- what am I eating or not eating or doing or not doing. There haven't been any miracle foods. It's really been a combination of things.

About 8 weeks ago, I started taking a lunch time class that meets once a week. It is called "Healthy Weight, Healthy You." My job is sponsoring it. It is put on by OSF St. Joe's Center for a Healthy Lifestyle. Erin Kennedy, exercise specialist, and Kim McClintic, dietitian swap weeks. They are both very positive and very up beat and totally encouraging. One thing I like is that there are no forbidden foods and nothing you have to completely give up. Granted, there are healthier choices but they also don't advocating feeling deprived. Also, even though the title says "Healthy Weight" I feel like it more about health than weight. Though, everyone in the class wants to lose some.

Each week they advocate making small choice that lead up to big changes. Here is some of what I've learned:

• Set a reasonable short term goal. They suggested 10%
• Look at how clothes fit and how you feel and not just about the number.
• Watch portions. Americans are so use to SUPER SIZE that our portions are out of control.
• Realistically, our stomach holds about 2 cups without stretching. When eating a meal, try for 2 cups of food.
• Don't worry, because in a couple hours you get a snack! A snack is about 1 cup of food.
• Granted, you should choose wisely. a cup of MM's is very different than a cup of grapes.
• However, you cannot completely blow it in one meal or one day! A pound is 3500 calories. Even if you had a piece of cake (which I have had over the last 7 weeks), that does not equal 3500 calories. Isn't that good news!
  
• Try to get in 3 different types of food at meals and a couple different foods at snacks. Why? Because your body breaks down different types of food at different rates. It does carbohydrates first, protein second, and fat last.
  
• Exercise: 30 minutes most days for cardio. I've been walking Hadley about 45 minutes.
  
• Tidbit: the first 3 minutes of cardio you are burning protein. Minutes 3-20 you are burning carbohydrates. Everything after 20 you are burning fat.
• For best results figure your target heart rate. That is 220-age. Take 60% for the low end and 80% for the high end. You will burn the most calories in that range.
• Change up your exercise routine every 3 weeks or so to avoid a plateau.
• Do some strength training. A pound is a pound. However a pound of muscle burns a lot more calories than a pound of fat even when you are just sitting.
• Lift things around the house -- can of green beans, a gallon of milk, or your 4 year old. Do lots of reps with a little weight. Try 4 sets of 15. Rest a minute in between.
• Wait 48 hours in between working the same muscle group. One day you could upper body and arms. The next you could do legs and such.
• Here's the exception. You can do abs everyday. Aren't you so excited to read that?
• Try new foods. Kim has given us a new recipe each week. I've liked all of them .
  
• Read food labels. We've learned how to evaluate the health claims. If you want, another night I will post that. . . . .
• Keep a food log/activity log. It just makes you aware of what you are eating. You don't have to share it. We often overestimate the amount we exercise and underestimate the amount we eat or drink!
• Of course there is more like info on eating out, but too much to put here tonight....
  

Most importantly: only weigh once a week and as Erin and Kim say, "DON'T LET WHAT HAPPENS BELOW THE NECK WRECK HAVOC ABOVE THE NECK!"

So, I had to take Hadley to the vet yesterday for a booster shot. Go figure, with all of our walking, she's lost 2lbs! The only catch is that she didn't need to lose any!

Thanks Erin and Kim! Wed is our last class and I am bummed! They are such a hoot!