First Contact

"I should move to the middle of nowhere and just become a hermit." I've had this thought at times. It's not very practical given that I have absolutely zero survival skills in the wilderness. I'ld starve to death in no time flat.

Typically, this thought is born out of a sense of isolation. If I were in the middle of nowhere, I wouldn't be disappointed by people and things. I would know that I had no cell phone reception, so no one would be calling or writing or whatever. I wouldn't be disappointed. But I also don't think I would be happy.

C.S. Lewis wrote, "We are born helpless. As soon as we are fully conscious, we discover loneliness. We need other physically, emotionally, intellectually; we need them if we are to know anything, even ourselves." I found this quote in a magazine 20 odd years ago. I was so struck by it, I cut it out and taped it into the front cover of my favorite Bible.

But connecting in our busy world takes a lot of time. There are phones and e-mails to answer. (Rather than freeing us, I think cell phones and text messaging may have just made our leashes longer and given us more rope to hang ourselves!) There are schedules to arrange. I understand all of that, but there is still that longing.

There is a book out called The Five Love Languages. It's meant for married people, but I think it applies to singles as well. The love languages are touch, service, words of affirmation, gifts, and quality time.

My primary love langauge is quality time. I crave uninterrupted quality time. We can even be doing something together but I need to feel connected. For example, my all time favorite day was with my friend Jill about a year ago. I needed her advice on office space. She went with me to see the spaces I had narrowed down and then we went to lunch. After that, we headed to her house to do some Thanksgiving preparation. It wasn't so much that it was a heavy talk time. It was being together uninterrupted. I just felt so connected.

But as I've been thinking about it lately, I realize that just as much as I crave that time with others, God craves that time with me. I do it, but sometimes "His time" is fit in amongst all the other myriad details of my life. Sometimes, it is in fits and pieces, starts and stops.

He wants to connect even more than I do. Perhaps, if I realign my priorities and make that time more central, some of that craving will be eased.

I read a book a number of years ago regarding gender roles. While I won't open that can of worms in this post, one thought has always stuck with me. I probably won't say it right. While God created Eve to help fulfill that need for community within Adam, Eve's first contact was not with Adam. Her first, most primal, contact was with God when He formed her from Adam's side.

Her first most primal contact was with God. And isn't that true for us as well in that God "knit us together in our mother's womb?" Perhaps, God is calling me to renew that "first most primal contact" with Him.

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Somewhat of a sidenote, I received a really lovely comment from someone today on my "Deadman's Crawl" post. I wanted to write you back, but found that I couldn't. So, if you commented on that post, check it out. I've responded to you there. And thank you -- it meant a lot.