The 411 About Supporting a Child

I had the privilege today of helping out at a Compassion booth at a Christian Women's Conference (Hearts at Home) that is sponsored here in Normal, IL, MN, and MI. I know a lot about Hearts at Home as the founder is a friend of mine. Still, not being a mom, I've veered away from helping out at the conference (don't want my I-wanna-be-a-mom jealousy meter to raise too high) and instead helped out with a couple of Jill's kids. But, they are out growing me.

Last week, Compassion contacted me and asked about helping out at their booth. I love what Compassion does and even though it risked tweaking that meter, I decided to do it. I am so glad that I did. We were busy the entire time. And I got to work with Lisa Martin from Compassion and learned a lot about how to answer the questions.

Here are some of the common questions we got and the answers:
How does this work?

• For $32 a month you sponsor a child. It is a 1 to 1 relationship. No one else will be sponsoring your child. This allows you to build a relationship with the child. (I got to insert bits about the children I am sponsoring.)

Do the children really write you?

• Absolutely. They have to write at least 3 times a year. However, they can write more than that if they want. I had taken along a couple letters that my kids had written to share.

What do you write about and can you send gifts?

• Write about whatever is on your heart. When you do, you will find that your children's letters reflect their concern for you and that they are praying for you. Coming from such family oriented cultures, my children struggle to understand how I can be single and live by myself. They've offered up advice like joining the church choir. When a friend moved, one wrote that she wanted to come to me so I wouldn't be lonely.
• If you have kids, write about them. I write about kids I know.
• You can't send packages because of the cost involved and the fact that things might not make it through Customs in other countries.
• You CAN send small, fun, flat things: pictures (They treasure these), coloring pages, pieces of bright colored paper, stickers. Think "Flat Stanley."
• A couple times year you CAN send extra money for gifts for birthdays or the family or Christmas. The Christmas money gets pooled so that all the kids get things. On the birthday or family gifts, Compassion workers in that country find out what the child/family needs and they go from there.

How much of the money goes to the child?

• 80 cents of every dollar is used to directly benefit the children. The other 20 cents is overhead. Compassion is a very fiscally well run organization. The money is used for education, food, spiritual development, etc.

What about if there are other children at home?

• Typically, only one child (depending on the family needs) is involved in the program. But Compassion understands that in these countries, sharing is a strong family value. Children take home what they learn. They teach their siblings letters by writing in the dirt. They can tell their parents that the reason they get sick so often is that the water isn't boiled. The children become advocates.
• The children at the center have their nutritional needs addressed. This means there is more to go around at home.
• By only having one child in the program, Compassion can influence more families. If there were 5 families with 5 children each with each child enrolled in the program, that would be 25 children impacting 5 families. Compassion thinks bigger than this. By taking 25 children each from different families, they impact 25 families and a bigger segment of the community at large.

Is Compassion a Christian organization?

• DEFINITELY. The program is run in conjunction with a local church. Families are encouraged to go to church but it isn't a requirement. Even if they don't go to church, the children are taught scripture during the day. Again, this is carried back to the families.

How do you pick a child?

• If you are at an event, you can pick up a packet with the child's info and everything you need to get started. But how do you decide? For some people it is a country they are interested in or one they think they might visit. For others, it is wanting a child close to their own child's age.
• You can go online (see the link in the sidebar) and search for a child that way.
  
• Compassion can also pick a child for you.
  
• There are priority children. These children have been waiting 6 months or more for a sponsor. Think how much it would mean to sponsor one of these children.

What do the communities think about Compassion?

• Lisa shared with me how much the communites appreciate Compassion. Compassion typically tries to buy food and supplies locally. As a result, they are investing in the local economy.

Do the letters from sponsors matter?

• YES!!! It is a tangible way that a child feels loved by the sponsor. If you support a child, please write!
  
• It is also possible to go on Compassion sponsored trips and meet your child. I'm praying about that.

Why do I sponsor my two children? Because Jesus calls us to be people of compassion. Compassion is not just being moved by suffering but being moved enough to want to do something about that suffering. After working the booth today, I have a greater realization of the impact that my sponsorship has not just on my child but on the families and the community. It's a ripple effect.

Never Uncalled For

I have the most interesting conversations at Barnes and Noble. The other night, between waiting on customers, another bookseller and I were chatting. She had picked out a couple of cards and said, "I never know if I should get my husband's father's wife a Mother's Day card."

Without a thought, I quipped, "Kindness is never uncalled for." I've thought on that the last couple of days. I think it is true. Sometimes we worry about what is "correct" by someone's definition. (Even though we are unsure who the mysterious someone is!) So, we hesitate to do the kind thing even if it is a $2.00 card . . . .

I'm not saying that I always get it right. I don't. Sometimes I worry about how something will be received -- too much, too little, whatever.

Hearts at Home is held in March in Illinois. Some of the Proverbs 31 gals were going to be here. I had contact with one over my She Speaks registration. On a whim, I emailed her to ask if she and the two others would like to come to my house for dinner or go out the night before the conference. It took a few days to hear back. As soon as I sent it, I worried about what she must have thought. It's not like she knows me. Still, it seemed like a friendly thing to do. I went back and forth on if I should have invited at all.

But the idea of kindness never being uncalled for -- it might have quieted some of those thoughts.

They already had plans, but she said to make sure I said "Hello" during She Speaks.

When insecurity or whatever is nipping at your heels, remember that kindness is never uncalled for. I hope you'll follow your kind impulses.

There's A Party Going On Right Here

There's a party going on right here! As I mentioned yesterday, I have Jill's boys for the weekend since it Hearts at Home. We've been having a fun time. I picked them up after school and we headed back to my house. I tried out a new recipe from a book (Taco Pie). (It was just average. I should have used one of the tried and true ones off of Lysa's site! However, the cookies were a hit.) Then I had a Financial Peace class and the boys went with me and just hung out. We got back to my house a little before 9:00 so we put in a movie. They had never seen Horse Whisper, so that is what we watched.

I'm not sure what time they got up. But when I went down about 9:00 they were read for breakfast. They watched some Hannah Montana and That's So Raven while I showered and changed and then we went to run some errands. In the process of running the errands, I gave them a couple options of what we could d0:

1. Eat lunch out and go skating and eat dinner at home
   
2. Eat lunch at home, go skating, go go a movie, and eat dinner at home as well.

They opted for the second. We had quite the party with Alex and Addy there as well.

I'm glad I brought snacks. These 4 skinny, growing kids, went through two bags of cookies, a bag 0f chex mix, and 4 granola bars!

Never say I don't entertain kids well! And it did go well. Everyone got along. The only problem was a bully on skates that was bothering Alex. Koyla talked to him and asked him to leave Alex alone. He did. But he started bothering the younger ones. Soon Addy was telling me about how he liked to stop quickly in front of people to make them fall. I asked her if she had told the rink guards, but she was feeling shy. I got their attention and together we reported the kid. It turns out that he is a regular who often gets kicked out.

Mindy came and collected her girls. I took the boys to Spiderwick Chronicles. Good if you like fantasy type stuff. And then we came home and they were allowed to pick casserole, or hot pockets, or little pizza, or pot pie for dinner. (I'm the only one that ate the casserole.)

Now, we've all showered and are watching TV. Bed time is coming as we have to be up early tomorrow for KidStuf!

Maybe this is my organizational gift: organizing fun stuff for kids.

Valentine's Day Contest

Hey all.

Just thought I would let you know that my friend, Jill Savage, is sponsoring a Valentine's Day contest. It's particularly for married people, but she is a dear friend and I love her so I thought I would advertise for her here! She is the founder of Hearts at Home and has written numerous books from mothering (including one on that hard age group of teens) and marriage.



So, click the banner at the right and go to her site and enter her contest. It will be fun!

And aren't you impressed I can do the whole button thing. I learned how at Lysa's blog last week. So, I guess I'm kind of showing off my new found knowledge!

Enjoy. I hope someone I know wins! Let me know if you do!

A Rose By Any Other Name -- Hope Chronicles 11

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose , by any other name would smell as sweet." It's a famous line from Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliette. And the conclusion is that the name isn't what matters. Romeo would still be Romeo even if he wasn't a Montague (but it would have been easier if that was the case). A rose smells the same no matter what it is called.


Can I weigh in on both sides? Yes, a rose still smells the same, but there is something significant about our names. Why else would we be hurt when someone cannot remember our names? However, I am also willing to admit that this may be a pet peeve of mine. As you might guess from the picture, I am an identical twin. I do mean identical. We were constantly mixed up as children. I know the trick of telling us apart in some of the more "staged" photos. (We were placed in alphabetical order.) Give me purely candid shots and I am often guessing too!


Recently, I had some friends' children over. One found a tape and wanted to know what movie I had rented. It was actually a video made out of the reel to reel (yes, I'm dating myself) tapes of when I was a child. He wanted to see and asked, "So which one are you?" All the motion of two busy two-year-olds left it impossible for me to decide which one I was!



While some twins "outgrow" this identicalness, Sara and I still look remarkably alike. She recently attended the Hearts at Home conference in Grand Rapids, MI -- about 5 1/2 hours from where I live. Several people from my church are involved in Hearts. Sara had person after person come up and exclaim, "What are you doing here? I didn't know you were coming." To which she replied, "I am NOT who you think I am!"


In light of this, I'll have to forgive my grandfather for never knowing us apart. He called all the granddaughters "Honey" and "Missy" interchangeably while we were growing up. At about 14, it dawned on us to ask, "Now, which one am I?" We were horrified to find he didn't know!


Perhaps it is teenage girl thing, but I went through a phase of deciding what I would name my children when I had them. In bookstores, I could be found perusing the baby name books because somewhere in my head I had decided that when I named my children, I wanted the names to have meaning. This meant that they needed to be named after someone important in my life or that the name actually meant something. I planned out how I would tell them what their name meant and that each time I spoke their name I was speaking that characteristic into being in them. Lovely thought, isn't it?



At the same time, I could not resist knowing what my name meant. All the books agreed that "Amy" meant "beloved." However, I never had the courage to ask my parents why they chose that name for me. I know very little about the day I was born except that they had no clue that they were in for a bonus baby! I do not know if that excited them or overwhelmed them. I know only that we were premature and had to stay in the hospital for awhile and that Sara went home several days before I did. I do not know if they kept a vigil while we were there. I really know next to nothing.


But I do know that I did not feel "beloved." My family was a dysfunctional mess and "I love you" was not said and affection was not shown. (Even as adults, my sisters and I cannot seem to move beyond this.) I learned early on that it was better to read unobserved in the corner than to be noticed. If you were noticed, there was typically a sharp word or a criticism or a reprimand or any number of things. So, in my mind, I think I have always felt that it was some cruel joke like calling the fat kid "Skinny" to be called "Beloved" and not feel loved.


Most of my Christian life, I have approached God with caution. I've sometimes thought that I had snuck in the backdoor and could only stay as long as He didn't notice me. For awhile I opted out of church. When I came back, I came back literally trembling. For months I did not partake in communion just in case God might strike me down with a great zap from heaven for sullying His table after having abandoned church for so many months and being a sinner.

Luckily, even when I abandoned church, God did not abandon me. God has brought me into a great community of believers. From my friend Jill I have learned to say, "I love you." I also believe she has chosen to love me. I was (and to some degree still am) as prickly as porcupine when she first met me. (It can't be easy to love a porcupine!) Perhaps, more importantly than learning to say it, I have learned to hear it and receive it and believe it from others and God. I am still working to know how to rest in it.

Love. It drew Jesus to the cross for me. It made Him stay there until it was through when legions of angels were waiting for His call to sweep in and bring Him down from that brutal cross. For my sake, He endured the ultimate agony when taking my sin upon himself, God turned away. He did it for me. Because of that, I can never say that I am "unloved."

I do not profess to understand the book of Revelation. But with my fascination with names, Revelation 2:17 has always caught my imagination. "He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes, I will give some of the hidden manna. I will also give him a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to him who receives it."

A name only between me and God, written on a pure white stone. With as much as I've struggled to understand His love, I might not be surprised to find my own name written there -- "Amy, loved one." I have hope because of His love for me.