Vengeance vs. Forgiveness -- Hope Chronicles 71

Awhile back I read Change of Heart by Jodi Picoult. She does not write to a Christian audience, but I have really liked some of her stuff. Change of Heart was not one of my favorites. Yet it still had those "ah -ha" moments that made me think.

The premise is that a pregnant woman's husband and child are murdered. The murder is on death row and wants his heart to go to the woman's second child. As you will have guessed needs a heart transplant. In the book, the mother, June, asks the following questions:

Would you give up your vengeance against someone you hate if it meant saving someone you love?

Would you want your dreams to come true if it meant granting your enemy's dying wish?

Humanity has a great need for vengeance. We want to see the wrongs righted. We want people who hurt us to pay ounce for ounce back every bit of hurt and suffering they have caused.

Humanity has a great need for vengeance, but Christianity has no need for it. Yes, being human, we still want to see people pay for what they have done to us. But Jesus calls us to something higher, something better. He calls us to give our hurts and even our hopes to Him and let Him do the sorting out. Yes, our enemy may in the end get his dying wish, but we would only rob ourselves and the ones we love if we lived by vengeance instead of forgiveness.

But forgiveness is hard. My father was very abusive while I was growing up. He has never asked forgiveness for what he did. I must admit that I still harbor some bitterness about everything he robbed me of and even the angst it has caused with other family members. But I do not actively seek revenge. I leave that all with Jesus. To that extent I have forgiven.

Yet, the question is one my pastor has asked in his own life. He had an abusive step father who late in life responded to an altar call. His first response was, "No, you cannot forgive him, God!" But like me, he has had to learn to leave the balance of it all up to God.

There is the rub, isn't it? With the cross their is no balance. It's all lopsided because Jesus paid the price for all of it. Because of that lopsided balance, I have hope. Without it, I would never be able to come to God. Coming to Jesus, isn't that worth giving up our sense of vengeance?

Change of Heart -- Hope Chronicles 24

I don't know if most bookstores do this or not, but the one I work in lets you borrow hard-cover books for 2 weeks! The management keeps the dust jacket. I've never done it before, but Change of Heart by Jodi Picoult recently came out. I'm on a budget, and since this a hardcover, it isn't in the budget. Since I'm only part-time "seasonal" (they call me in as a sub), I didn't know if the borrowing policy would extend to me. Happiness -- it does!



So, I've borrowed Change of Heart. Jodi Picoult is one of my favorite fiction writers. (Before you go out and buy her stuff on my say so, I don't know that she is a Christian. So she doesn't necessarily write from a Christian perspective. Some of her stuff is rather "edgy," and I'm not sure I would recommend a few of her books. Other books, I just absolutely love and have read numerous times. More specifically, My Sister's Keeper.)



What I love about her later books is that she completely gets you in the mind of the characters.



And I love the way she strings words together. Sometimes it makes me catch my breath and go back and read it again. It's beautiful.



So, I've just begun Change of Heart. I'm hooked. I want to know, need to know what happens. (But I turn the pages very carefully since I have to return it.)



Gist: June has endured more pain than many can imagine. Her first husband was killed in a car accident but she and her daughter were spared. Her second husband and her daughter were killed by another of the main characters, Shay. She gave birth to her second daughter after they were killed. And her daughter, Claire, needs a heart transplant.



I know it is fiction, but at the same time, I also know that life can sometimes look like that -- one sweeping tragedy after the next.



About 60 pages into it, June muses, "Life has a way of pointing out, with great sweeping signs, that you are looking at the wrong things, doesn't it? It was when I started to admit to myself that I'd rather be dead that I was given a child who had to fight to stay alive." In the same chapter she talks to Claire and Claire points out that the only thing she is allowed to do is read. Claire says, "I bet a saint can play softball."



June: "So can a girl with a heart transplant."



"But Claire wasn't listening; she knew that hope was just smoke and mirrors; she'd learned by watching me."



Of course, I zeroed in on the hope statement. I think hope by the world's standards may be smoke and mirrors. But I don't believe that it is so with Jesus. So, I've been thinking of how I might (as if I might meet her) challenge June's perception.

There was no smoke and mirrors about the cross.

There was no smoke and mirrors about Jesus rising from the dead. A couple things point to that. If the Romans stole the body, why didn't they produce it when Christianity started to catch on? If the disciples stole the body and made it up, why would they have been willing to die for something they knew was a lie? I don't think they would have been.

Maybe more compelling are the things in my life -- my change of heart. I came from a home that wasn't Christian, yet God showed Himself to me. I came from a home that was abusive. I'll admit that at times, that has meant that I have struggled to see God as a loving father. I could easily see Him as a distant King. A loving father? No. But God has shown me that a bad copy does not invalidate the original. And God is the original. I came from a home that was isolated and lonely and scary on a daily basis. I still struggle with those things some, but God is my safety. He has given me some great friends. He has helped me move out of the shadows and into the light. He has given me strength to stand up for my convictions. He has begun to redeem my brokenness. There is no smoke and mirrors about that. It is hope.

Smoke and mirrors are magic tricks, slights of the hand. Hope is about Jesus stretching His arms out on the cross and then one day stretching His arms out to welcome us into his presence.

What evidence is there in your life to refute the idea that hope is merely smoke and mirrors?

Ifspeak

One of my favorite books is called My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult. Actually, I like many of the books that she writes. But the last one, 19 Seconds, was disturbing. It was about a fictionalized school shooting. The week after I read it the Virginia Tech shootings happened. I like her writing because of her ability to put me inside a character's head and heart.

My Sister's Keeper is about a 13-year-old girl, Anna, who sues her parents for the rights to her own body. She wants medical emancipation and to be the person who decides if she will donate a kidney to her dying sister, Kate. Anna was conceived specifically to be a matched donor for her sister. Her entire life has been lived in the shadow of her sister's illness. In the book you hear from Anna, her parents, the lawyers, and her brother.

I wanted to share an excerpt from Anna (p.299).

When you are a kid you have your own language, and unlike French or Spanish or whatever you start learning in the fourth grade, this one you're born with , and eventually lose. Everyone under the age of seven is fluent in Ifspeak; go hang around with someone under three feet tall and you'll see. What if a giant funnelweb spider crawled out of that hole over your head and bit you on the neck? What if the only antidote for venom was locked up in a vault on the top of a mountain? What if you lived through the bite, but could only move you eyelids and blink out an alphabet? It doesn't really matter how far you go; the point is that it's a world of possibility. Kids think with their brains cracked wide open; becoming an adult, I've decided, is only a slow sewing shut.

I think she is right. On one hand, outgrowing Ifspeak is functional. If your ifspeak is only related to negative things, then it could cause a great deal of anxiety. On the other hand, out growing ifspeak limits us.

For kids, anything is a possibility. They dream BIG. When I was a kid I was going to be a dolphinologist (not that there is such a thing), keep the dolphins in a pool outback, have six kids, and the kids would daily help with the dolphins. By studying the interaction of my kids and the dolphins, I would break the barrier to intelligently communicating with these remarkable animals and win lots of awards. That was my primary dream. I also considered becoming the first female president.

As we grow up, reality slowly sets in. They just don't let people keep dolphins in a pool outback. We find we are limited by our rules and regulations, finances, intellect, abilities or lack of abilities, circumstances, . . . .

As I was thinking about this quote, I wondered if we are also often limited by our faith. Yes, you read that right. Sometimes we are limited by the things we put our faith in -- other people, our abilities, whatever. Where we need to put our faith is in God. With God all things are possible. There are no limits. The one who created the universe can overcome every obstacle. But sometimes we don't let Him. Sometimes we don't even ask or if we do ask it is halfheartedly, not really believing . . . . That's not to say that God always says, "Yes." But I do think we put limits on God.

Sometimes when I pray, I pray very specifically. If God doesn't answer directly with my proposal, I think He hasn't answered. Maybe He has but the answer is packaged differently than I anticipated.

Ifspeak. I think it is about faith. What if I truly believed in every fiber of my being that God loved me? What if I could truly lay all my burdens at His feet? What if I trusted Him with all of who I am? What if I responded to those "flashes" of ideas? How would it change my live and the lives of those around me?

Ifspeak. I wonder if it is a language I can relearn . . . .