When God says, "No Take-Backs" -- Hope Chronicles 42

Sorry gals! I just realized after visiting Leila's site that I missed 8 and read 9. But I like this post anyway. I'll try to post on 8 soon!

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Perhaps it is my imagination, but I think I hear God calling in delight, "No take backs!" The thought both makes me smile and tremble a bit. What is it that I am signing up for?

After a cold, wet, gray, dreary Sunday, the clear skies and warm weather were extremely welcome on Monday. For the past 6 months, I've only take a half hour lunch by choice. My schedule is shifting some and I'll now be taking a normal hour for lunch. Knowing I would have the whole hour, raised the question for me on Monday as to what to do with that time. I can easily eat in 15 minutes and have typically read during the other 15 minutes. Math has never been my strong suit but even I can figure that left 30 minutes.

I've lost 17lbs since the first of the year and plateaued there. With the turn in the weather, I decided that extra 30 minutes would be ideal for walking. So, I ate my sandwich and apple while I did 3 laps of an 8 block downtown perimeter in those 30 minutes. (How many city blocks in a mile?)


Since I had already eaten, I considered another lap but opted for a spot on a bench in sun instead. I needed to prepare for Yes to God Tuesdays at Lelia's. We are on the final chapter of Lysa's book, What Happens When Women Say Yes to God.

It was a challenging chapter and a call to decision. I read it and closed the book and said, "Okay, God here we go. I don't know what will happen, but 'Yes.'"

Perhaps, God was afraid I would take it back but I am not at all use to immediate-response-answers to my prayers. I still had 15 minutes and I pulled out my phone to make a quick call., but before I could dial I heard "Do you have any change for a homeless vet?"

Generally, I do not respond well to these requests. Chalk it up to a number of years in social service and dealing with some who just don't seem to want to work. Oh, there were always a myriad of reasons but I often found gaps. They couldn't afford the bus token to get to parenting classes necessary for getting their kids back but I found myself behind them in line at the grocery store while they were buying a six pack. I don't want to be unfair. There are people who are just down on their luck. But after a bit, social service can make you tend towards cynicism.

Generally, my response is to avoid eye contact and hurry on. On Monday, both those rules got broken. I met his eyes immediately and he held my gaze. It was as if God changed the words "Do you have any change?" to "Are you serious about change?"

Surprisingly, I dug into my purse to find I had $8.00 with me. My gut reaction was to hand him $3.00 and keep the $5.00 bill. And God whispered, "Now, reverse the math." So my I-so-hate-being-conned-self handed him the five. It all took all of 60 seconds. He was rushing on, "I can show you ID so you know I'm a vet." I wanted to say, "Not necessary. Jesus gave the ID for you."

It would have been great if I had said that but I wasn't that bold. However, I did something else unprecedented for me in these situations. I gathered my coat and book in my lap and made room on the bench. "You can sit down if you would like."

For ten minutes, I lent him an ear. He told me that it's cold at night and it's horrible when it rains. He said that he hates asking for money and that he can't find a job. He said he gets lonely and there is no one to talk to. He read the title of the book, What Happens When Women Say Yes To God, and asked, "Do you believe that God stuff?"

My lunch was over, but I could say, "Yes, I really do."

Did I get conned? Perhaps. Maybe I'll never know for sure. But, it was worth $5.00 to hear God delightedly exclaiming, "No take-backs. I think we shall begin now." And so we begin the next leg of the journey with some change over lunch.

The Mundane Things

It's Yes to God day at Lelia's. Here are my thoughts on chapter 7, "Keeping Our Vision Clear."

I've been blessed with remarkably good vision. As soon as I write that, I'll probably start needing glasses! Aside from a slight astigmatism in 1 eye, I see fine. Honestly, at this point in my life, there is zero impact from it.

Though about 15 years ago was a different story. It was right after my mother had passed away and I was stressed. That spring the year and half of her illness and passing caught up with me. I had headaches and my vision blurred. It was just hard to focus.

I knew I had the astigmatism before but I had never needed any help. The doctor told me (at 23) that I wasn't as young as I use to be and that sometimes it made it harder for the eyes to adjust quickly enough, that my other eye was somehow through compensating. Happily, it eventually righted itself but I am waiting -- at 39 -- for the problems to come back with age!

While most people aren't as lucky as I was to have my vision "recorrect," I think there are times when we all have things get out of focus. And there are choices we can make to get back in focus. I love Lysa's perspective on the fact that while we are often nearsighted God's vision for us is always clear.

As I think about it, His vision of our past is perfect. His vision of our future is perfect. His vision of where we are at any given moment is also perfect. But sometimes -- often -- I argue with Him about all three. Why did this have to have happened growing up? Why couldn't I be like so and so who has had a friend since she was four? Why did you let me make that bad choice? How will things ever work out in the future? What is the future going to hold? It's paralyzing to think about. How will I manage today?

Lysa shares with us a story about some unexpected money they received and how she was set on new curtains. The short version is that it took God working on her heart to make her allow Art to make the decision not to get those curtains give the money away. Many years later, if things went the way they have, the curtains would have needed to be discarded.

God knew what Lysa wanted today wasn't what she would need for her tomorrow. The same is true for me. God knows what tomorrow brings and how to prepare me for it. The hard part is trusting Him with it all.

Lysa also points to the fact that God is busy in the everyday things of life. There really is no happenstance with God. I heard a quote once that said that "Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous." I use to like that quote, thought it was clever. Maybe, to a degree, it is. But it really is only coincidence to those who don't know God. Christians (though we may have to ask Him to show us) can see God's hand in all the things of life -- including the mundane. In fact, He is probably more likely to consistently meet us there than in those rare mountaintop experiences.

Lysa shares three things from the story of Jesus calling Peter:

1. "Our call to obedience may challenge our pride." Peter was called to let down his net where he had already fished. He could have said, "I just spent the last 5 hours in that spot Jesus. No way. You are a carpenter. I am fisherman. There are no fish there." But God blessed him because he didn't take that route.
2. "God uses our experiences to equip us for our calling." Here Lysa references Jesus calling Peter to be a "fisher of men." I thought of another as well. What about David fighting lions with his slingshot, protecting the sheep, well before he ever faced a giant? Our life experiences have a cumulative effect. Rarely is one event totally isolated from another. We just may not know yet how God will connect the dots.
3. "Our obedience may inspire others to respond." Obedience. Ick. I hate being told what to do. But when we follow God's prompting -- sometimes through others -- others may see God in a new way. It's obedience in the small things that lead us to be obedient in the larger things. It reminded me of the story of Naaman in 2 Kings 5. He wanted to be healed but balked when he was told to dip himself in the Jordan 7 times. His Israelite servant girl challenged him, "My father, if the prophet had told you to do some great thing, would you not have done it? How much more, then, when he tells you, 'Wash and be cleansed'!" He went and did it and was restored.

My conclusion, we all aspire to the great things, but more often God is calling us to obey and listen through the mundane things of life -- the lawn, the dishes, the groceries, the kind word, the helping hand, . . . . Since God is in the midst of them, maybe they aren't so mundane!

Locking Eyes With Hope -- Hope Chronicles 36

I dread it when I hear that a stretch of road I normally traverse is going to be "under construction." In theory, these projects are meant to help in the long run. In the short run, they are headaches in the making. And if your part of the world is anything like my part of the world, "construction" on even a tiny segment takes forever.


Roadblocks was what came to mind as I was reading for the on line study at Lelia's of Lysa Terkeurst's book, What Happens When Women Say Yes To God. (If you want to join the discussion or read other's thoughts, just click the button at right.)

I even had a bit of a stumbling block/roadblock on Monday. I had a doctor's appointment and was using my lunch break to accomplish it. (To my credit, I had let them know I might be a few minutes late coming back.) Sigh, maybe that was a prediction. But I'm usually in and out. It's a routine kind of thing. The fall of 2006 my iron was extremely low and for whatever reason, my body wasn't absorbing it from food or pills. I had to get it intravenously like eight times! At which point, my iron count was probably high enough to set off a metal detector! Now I go in every 4 months or so to see how much ground has been lost (usually 60-100 points). It was so high when they gave me those treatments, that while it is still dropping it is now in the "normal" range.

But my usual in and out turned into a sit and wait. I don't do sit and wait well.... Part of it for me today was, "What were they thinking at work?" I had already told them it might be a possibility, yet I felt myself get more and more anxious about it. And God brought to mind Lysa's words where she spoke of the gatekeepers Acceptance and Rejection. Rejection, criticism was what I feared if I lingered to long even for a necessary appointment. Acceptance is what I craved. As Lysa so aptly wrote, both gatekeepers require a lot (the fear of not being able to continue to perform or the lure of being constantly let off the hook because I don't measure up).

Lysa challenges us to choose worship over worry. Worry is a great roadblock to me. I can find worry in everything. When things are hard, the worry is ten times greater. Lysa writes:

When we worship in these hard places, we are reminded that none of this is about me -- it's all about God.

I want to have a heart that automatically looks to worship instead of worry. But a lot of my worry comes from where my eyes -- physically (counting the dollars and balancing the checkbook), emotionally (what are people thinking or saying about me), and spiritually (my own inability to be "good enough," worthy enough for God) are looking. I look at storm rather than the storm calmer.

Lysa uses a beautiful illustration of her youngest daughter Brooke. Brooke is Lysa's child who most needs touch. Once, she was in a dance recital and the part she anticipated dancing got switched. In tears, she searched out her mother. Lysa knew she couldn't be on stage with her daughter but she said, "Lock your eyes on mine and Mommy will touch you with my smile. Don't look at anyone or anything else . . . . It doesn't matter if you mess up. What matters is that you keep your eyes on me the whole time. We'll do this together."

I need to lock eyes with the heavenly Father. It has been a difficult few days and that seems hard to do. I'd like to hide and pull the covers over my head. But I am choosing to lock eyes with Jesus and choose hope by doing things like taking spring pictures over the weekend or calling a friend when I need it or reading all the antics and wise thoughts of my bloggy friends. In these ways I am locking eyes with hope.

And not only am I trying to dance, God is dancing and singing over me. The smile never leaves His face when my eyes are locked with His.

The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." -- Zephaniah 3:17 (NIV)

Separation From God vs. Yes To God

I am doing an on-line book study with some other women. It's been great. If you want to join or just read comments, click the button at left to go to Lelia's site. We are reading a book by Lysa Terkeurst called What Happens When Women Say Yes To God.

Here are my thoughts:

If you are a Christian you have had to say "Yes" to God at some point in your life -- "Yes, I am a sinner and yes, I need your salvation God." But saying "Yes" on a daily or even moment to moment basis is a difficult, even a monumental task. Given everything that God has given us, you might not think it would be so hard, but when I am honest, I have to admit that it is.

In chapter 4, "You Never Know How God Will Use You Until You Let Him," Lysa writes, "Only the pursuit of God's righteousness leads us to His best." God always wants the best for us. When we seek God -- pursue -- God's righteousness that leads us closer to God. But sometimes this can be a scary place.

Jesus went to the poor, the weeping, the sinners, the prostitutes. They aren't places that I normally want to go to. But God calls me to those places.

As I was reading, I was reminded of a woman I worked with whose two boys were in foster care and she was 8-9 months pregnant. I did fairly well with many of my clients even if I didn't agree with their choices. But this woman grated on every nerve I had.

We were not obligated to transport parents. In fact, it was common to expect them to make their own way to visits and appointments. For many of my clients this meant the bus. Even though our city isn't huge, getting from point A to point B could take and hour or more. They were dropped off down the road and then had to walk the rest of the way to our facility.

It was hot and sticky and after the visit, she had to walk back down the road and stand and wait for the next bus. She asked me if I would drop her down the street. It was not one of my better moments and I said, "No." I rationalized it as a natural consequence for her choices. I rationalized it that I didn't have extra insurance and I was using my own car and if something happened she would undoubtedly sue for every dime she could get. But really, it was just that I didn't like her.

I didn't like her. Ouch. That haunted me the next several days. The next week, I asked her if she wanted me to drop her at the end of the road. But God said, "That's not quite enough." Though it lengthened my day, I began to drive her across town and then transport the little ones to the foster parents' home.

I can't say that anything miraculous happened. I left the agency before the case closed. But, in saying "Yes" to God in those moments, I began to see her not simply as a client -- and one I didn't like -- but as someone who was made uniquely in God's image. If it were Jesus who needed a ride, would I hesitate? But then God reminded me that it was Jesus who needed the ride.

One of the things that struck me was Lysa's comment that Satan's name means "one who separates." Indeed that is what he does. He is constantly pulling and tugging and enticing us away from God and His best for us.

In church today, the altar is usually in plain sight. My church doesn't even necessarily have an altar per se. (We use a horse trough for baptism!) In Jesus' day, a curtain separated the altar from public view. When a priest would go in, they tied a rope around his foot in case something would happen and they would need to drag him out.

But when Jesus died on the cross, the temple curtain was torn. It is so specific that it says from top to bottom rather than bottom to top. We could not rip it up and reach up to God. So God, reached down and made the way.

Lysa writes, "The truth is the name of Jesus causes us to pause and redefine ourselves. The truth is that love compels us to embrace the calling to be Jesus' ambassador. The truth is freedom to soar above this life and learn to live beyond ourselves and our circumstances." I sense the dangerousness of it, but "Lord, make me pause in that redefining way. Lord, help me choose to embrace your calling on my life and to say 'Yes' every moment."

It's easy to say and harder to walk out. There are some situations right now that aren't very pretty in my life. I won't air them here, but please pray that I would say "Yes" in a moment to moment way and that I would choose that over separation from others and, most importantly, separation from God."

One last thought from Lysa that touched my heart:

With God's amazing love settled in our heart, we have His power to keep our faith steady and to experience lasting hope and joy independent of our situation.

It's true -- God wants it all. and it's in exchange of what we want for what God wants that we experience the adventure and freedom and power of saying yes to God.

I want that. Do you?

Scandalous Hope -- Hope Chronicles 33

I am really enjoying working at Barnes and Noble. (The pay could be better, but the atmosphere is great.) I worked 1 day in the last 4 days but have popped in there 3 out of the 4. Today, I went to pick up one of Lysa's books for someone.



I was hailed to go to the register at the other end of the row of registers. As I was going, I mentioned that I was picking up a book and the manager snagged it for me. It was, as is customary for special orders, wrapped in white paper. She said, "You know we have to check it out." I laughed and said, "Yeah, it's pretty scandalous stuff."



When she handed my purchase to another bookseller, Will, to ring up, she said, "Yeah, it's really racy all right." Will looked pretty perplexed. We do see some racy things come through our lines, but I don't think he would have put What Happens When Women Say Yes To God in that category!



Speaking of that book. I've been reading it on line at Lelia's site with some other women. It's kind of fun to read everyone's reactions. I picked this copy up to give to a friend.



But the chapter and the Barnes and Noble banter got me thinking. We don't typically think of Christianity as scandalous. Scandalous is the affairs of public figures or whatever is happening with Brittney Spears or any number of stars on any given day. Scandalous is all about money and power and sex. Honestly, we are so saturated by it, that it takes more and more degrees of "scandal" for anything to register.



We are the frog in the pot of water. Put a frog in a pot of boiling water and it quickly jumps out. Put it in a pot and then slowly turn up the heat, the frog will stay put while it boils to death. Culturally, it is the same thing.



Shouldn't Christianity be scandalous? Shouldn't Jesus followers be the talk of the town? Too often we aren't. We are milk toast not spice. Jesus created a "scandal" most of where He went:

• To start, His entire birth was a scandal -- unwed mother kind of stuff.


• His lineage could be considered a scandal. It includes Rahab, the prostitute, and Ruth, the Moabitess. God chose not to have His son come from a "pure blood" line.


• He talked to known sinners and tax collectors. He even had dinner with them.


• He didn't put anyone ahead of anyone else just because of who they were. For example, when Jarius' (a big wig in town) daughter is ill and dying, Jarius comes to him in a panic. Jesus stops for a woman -- a lowly woman -- who had been bleeding for 12 years.


• Jewish people weren't big on cemeteries in that coming in contact with the dead made someone unclean. But Jesus travels across the Sea of Galilee to cast out a legion of demons in a man that the town really had no use for. Jesus healed him and instead of marveling at that and praising God, they got angry about their pigs. They cared more for pigs than people.


• He challenged the religious authority of the day. He let them know when they had things backwards.


• He was gentle with children but capable of enough anger that He overturned tables in the temple courtyard.


• He went out of His way to talk to the Samaritan woman.

And the list goes on and on. Jesus was gentle with those who needed tenderness but didn't mind shaking up those who needed to be shaken up a bit.

In What Happens When Women Say Yes to God, Lysa talks about radical obedience. In some sense, it is being willing to do whatever God asks even if it doesn't make sense to our culture, our friends, our family, or even ourselves. Lysa writes, "Obedience becomes radical when we say, 'Yes, God, whatever You want,' and mean it. We release our grip on all that we love and over it back to Him, who loves us more." That is hard to do, but it is the heart of the matter. Do we love God enough to give Him all that we hold precious and dear -- finances, family, friends, dreams, hopes . . . .

There is saying about the news: If it bleeds it leads. The power and hope of the gospel is that Jesus bled for us, He paid a blood debt we could never pay. Few of us really comprehend what that means at the core. Or if we glimpsed it when we became Christians, it's lost it's power as it has become "familiar."

A friend sent an email to me recently. It was about a prof who taught religion and sensed that the class didn't grasp the reality of the cross. Anyway, he brought donuts to the class and asked the first person if they wanted one. They said, "Yes." He had one of the other students do 10 push ups so the first could have a donut. And so it went through out the class with the same student doing the push ups. Soon, students were saying they didn't want the donuts because they saw the exhaustion on the face of the student doing the push ups. They were becoming horrified that their donut was costing so much. But the prof had one student do them anyway. In the end He said, "Now, wouldn't it be a shame to leave that donut sitting on the desk after all that was paid for it."

Perhaps, we should all be horrified, scandalized on a daily basis on what our salvation cost Jesus. If it bleeds, it leads. Maybe we should remember on a daily basis that Jesus died and rose again. And since He loved us enough to bleed and die for us, shouldn't we follow His lead with radical obedience? Shouldn't He be the talk of the town because we are loving prostitutes and junkies, caring for widows and orphans, standing up for things in small and big ways in our jobs and schools and communities, getting our hands dirty, changing the way we spend our money, our time, our talent, asking God for His direction even in the mundane things of life, . . . .

Shouldn't we be creating a daily scandal because we have a scandalous hope?