Hey everyone!
Just wanted to remind you that the contest is still going on. Every comment through the last day of September is an entry. I'll select the winner That night and announce it October 1!
For those of you who don't know, the contest is to win a book by Gary Haugen called "Just Courage: God's Great Expedition for the Restless Christian." It's a life changing little book.
Click the picture to go to the original post!
I've been thinking a lot about friendship the last couple of days. Sometimes I feel like I am still in the first grade with it all. Seriously. I don't know exactly how someone becomes intimate friends. I didn't have another little girl to share all of my secrets with. I never played dress up with anyone or giggled about boys. I didn't pass notes or have a secret handshake. There is no one actively in my life who has known me since I was four.
I suppose I pick four because I know someone who has a couple of good friends that she has known that long. They grew up together.
For me, friendship is doing life together. But then it gets complicated by families and children. The time has to be carved out.
I also know that I have a tendency to gravitate towards children. I can talk easily with them and make them smile. I find it harder with adults. But I am working on it. Sometimes I volunteer to kid sit while a friend finds time with a spouse. I like that, but . . . .
While I do long for that "doing life together" kind of friend, the one who would drop anything at a moments notice, I recognize that I do have the start of some friendships.
Debbie was eight when her family moved here from Argentina. At there house, they speak a mix of Spanish and English. I know just enough Spanish to follow along. God brought to mind today the number of times I have gone over to Debbie's. Raquel and Lucas have tried to pull me into a game or activity. Debbie reminds them, "Ella es mi amiga." (Sorry, I don't know how to do accent marks!)
Ella es mi amiga. She is my friend. She hasn't come to see you but to hang out with me. I love those words, "Ella es mi amiga."
What are some of the best ways you've found for making close friends?
I officially do not know how many books I have going at the moment. I think there is one in every room. My community group (what my church calls small groups) just started reading John Ortberg' The life You've Always Wanted. I've only read the first chapter and need to read the second before Friday.
The first chapter is titled "We Shall Morph Indeed." It's basically about God's transforming power in our lives. Did you get that? It's about God's power -- not my puny attempts. Having just read Lisa Whittle's chapter on authenticity, the two melded in my mind.
Lisa wrote that we want to be fully known but that we put up a charade to hide our true selves. Yes, we are insecure. But God knows us fully. Really. Part way through, Ortberg writes, "The possibility of transformation is the essence of hope." Since I'm all about hope this year, it caught my heart. He outlines different words that are used in scripture in talking about tranformation. There meanings include:
I finally feel like I'm coming into a good patch again in terms of the depression. But I wanted to share with you something I wrote last week. I was really struggling with seeing it as a failure even though a lot of it could be traced to a med change that was financially related. Still, I felt like a failure. I decided to journal one day about why depression is not a failure. I thought I would share it with you.
Depression is a thief. That is the best description of it. It sneaks into a person’s life and it steals energy, enthusiasm, joy, self-confidence . . . . It hampers relationships and can be a hindrance to work. More than anything depression steals hope. It makes me believe that tomorrow is as dark as today and that it will never get better. It taunts me, shouting at times that it will always be like this, I will never get fully better, and because of that I am a failure of great proportions.
Depression is a thief. But it is also a liar. I must choose ways to find ways to shine truth on those lies. I must fine a way to have the courage to believe:
· Depression is an illness. There is a biological component to it.
· Like any illness it needs treatment. No one would tell a heart attack victim not to go to the hospital.
· I am not defined by depression unless I choose to let it define me. But I choose to be defined by hope and love and faith and not depression and desperation.
Dale Carnegie said, “Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed no hope at all.” I am important. I must keep trying. Perhaps something unexpected and wondrous will come from all these years of effort. I choose hope.
Renee shared this during her talk at She Speaks. It is really, really powerful and true. Please go and watch the video! Click here.
I am participating in an online study of Lisa Whittle's book, Behind Those Eyes. I read it earlier in the spring but I am excited to get to study it with a group of ladies online at Lelia's. If you click the book cover, it will take you to Lelia's site. You can see her reflections and links to the other ladies participating. My posts each Tuesday will be about the study. So, here is the first one:
It's been a hard couple of months, really hard. I take medication for depression. Earlier in the summer, I discovered that two of the meds would not be covered as they originally were. Instead of tier 1 they would be tier 3. Short end of a long story: I could no longer afford the medication. But my doctor and I agree that there is a biological basis for my depression and the medication was a need and not a want.
So, the beginning of July we started tapering off the meds to go on something different. Honestly, I think the euphoria I felt from my time at She Speaks carried me through the first couple of weeks. But then I bottomed out in a big way. The funny thing is, not many people would have guessed it.
One of the things that I've learned about mental health professionals is that they often gauge how well you are doing by how well you are functioning. They love the question, "Are you still going to work?"
Hello. It's me, Amy, we're talking about. Yes, I'm going to work. Yes, I'm paying the bills. Yes, I'm doing laundry. Yes, I am functioning. (Though the house is in awful shape. With all the outside functioning, I haven't had much energy to give to that.)
I'm on the upswing of new meds at the moment. But I certainly related to Lisa's chapter, "The Great Charade." I'm so good at it, no one outside hardly guesses the emotional turmoil. In reality, most women are pretty good at this charade of life. The problem is, as Lisa points out, it doesn't meet the longings of our souls.
What is the longing of our soul? Lisa writes:
We want someone to know us from the inside out, warts and all, and not think twice about our many flaws. We want unconditional love. We desire to find purpose. We seek attention, and we crave acceptance.
When I was in the fourth grade, I took Ohio history. At some point, I was sharing with my grandfather about Zane's Trace. Zane's Trace was reportedly the first road through the wilderness. But my grandfather had a surprise for me. Zane's Trace was the country road right out front. He took all of the grandchildren down a mile or two to a marker noting this historic fact. Zane's trace came into being because a few walked or rode a path through the wilderness. Others followed. Now, there is a highway.
We live in a world of tragedy and despair. It's all around us: school shootings, 9/11, the need for "Homeland Security," the economy, the worry about tomorrow. Okay, I worry about tomorrow. There are bills to pay and relationships to try to build and maintain. I even worry about the cats. Both of my cats are healthy and likely to live long lives -- possibly another 12-14 years because they are indoor cats. But still, occasionally, I catch myself with the thought, "What if something happened to one of them." Given their health, it's a worry without need.
Jesus tells us not to worry about tomorrow. In Matthew 6:13 He says "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Sound advice. Take care of today and leave tomorrow for itself.
But this takes discipline and walking out hope. For hope for a brighter tomorrow (heaven and being in the presence of God's glory) is what eventually awaits all who believe.
Hope is like Zane's Trace. Lin Yutang said the following about hope:
"Hope is like a road in the country; there was never a road, but when many people walk on it, the road comes into existence."
