Thursday, November 12, 2009

Who Do You Do Life With?

I discovered Grey's Anatomy this summer. Yes, I know it has been on for a few years. I just never tuned in. The summer was perfect time for starting. I've actually found the original episodes and I'm slogging my way through those as well as the current ones.

I was touched by one of the early ones. A mom was giving birth to quints. They were very tiny and fragile. I think they lost at least one. Another was struggling. Meredith had the idea to put one of the weaker babies in the same incubator as one of the stronger ones. She said it was called "co-bedding" and hospitals sometimes did it with twins. No one knows why it helps, but that it does. Perhaps it has something to do with no being alone.

That episode was on awhile ago, but it has stuck with me. What things might get healed if we emotionally "co-bedded?" There must be a better way to say that. What if we got that close to one another so that we could heal from someone's strength.

It has actually had me thinking about the American idea of living as one family or one individual. We want children to grow up and move out of the house. We encourage independence. But what if we are missing something too?

When I lived in IN I lived with a family for three years. It was bit of an unorthodox situation. I paid minimal rent and while I wasn't a nanny, I helped out with the kids whenever I could. I ate with them when I could. If Dana cooked, I cleaned up. If she was cooking, I would take the kids outside to play. I ran errands. I kid sat. I made a weekly time to have "art" (used loosely because I am no artist) with 5 year-old Hannah. When Elizabeth turned 4, she wanted a butterfly birthday theme. I made a butterfly shaped cake with yellow icing and decorated with pastel M & M's by the birthday girl. On Sunday nights after the kids were in bed, Jerry and Dana and I met to talk and pray. We did life together.

Honestly, daily proximity helped. But what if we did life together more intentionally? I wonder what places in our hearts might find peace for a time and maybe healing.

Who do you do life with?



Joyful said...

Amy, I love this!!!! It's been the topic of other blogs recently, and as well, Elaine and I were talking about this very thing when she called me the other day. Funny, I feel more connected with her, miles away, different country, then I do with those nearby. It's a heart connection, not just being physically in someone's presence.

I am desperately missing that closeness right now. It's like what you and I 'talked' about the other night...being in a crowd of people and still being lonely.

Let's intentionally make room for friendship. So thankful for the strength I draw from my friendship with God. I love doing life with Him.


Elaine said...

I really like this post of yours. It's so true & I wish people would see this & be more open to the idea rather than patting someone on the back - why not grab hold and give a really good squeeze. It kind of reminds me of the story of the ox & the yoke, how the weaker one is yoked with the sronger/older one and helps train the younger one.
I feel desperatly lonely lately.. and maybe that is why I am so irritated by my kids. thanks for your post, it's giving me some thoughts. :)