Not Better, Just Different -- Boys, Girls, Cats, and Dogs

If you've read this blog for awhile, you will know that I am crazy about my pets. I had gotten a dog several years ago. I had her about 6 months, but it turned out that she had pretty severe separation anxiety. It broke my heart, but the situation wasn't good for either o us. When I took her back to the shelter, they suggested a cat. I was hesitant since I believed that cats were aloof. Out of pity on me, they suggested I take a certain cat home for the weekend and provided a litter box and food. Within the first 12 hours, I was sold.

I now have two cats. I think they really see themselves as dogs. They greet me at the door and Mali can even be persistent about having guests pet her. They both sleep with me.

Still longing for a dog I could walk with and such, I got Hadley a few months ago. It's been interesting to see how people respond. It's as if I've somehow joined the "right" club and people will say, "Don't you like having a dog better than cats?"

Truthfully, no. Don't get me wrong. I adore Hadley, though she is a good deal more work then Katy and Mali. I love all three of them. They are different, but neither is better than the other.

I interact with them differently. For example, my cats are quite a bit smaller than Hadley. Their bones feel lighter somehow. When I pet them or cuddle them, my touch is a bit more gentle. Hadley gets a bit more rough housing. She likes to be wrestled with and will play tug of war. Katy and Mali go nuts over the laser pointer. Hadley could care less.

Katy has always been a fetcher. Hadley is still learning to fetch. She'll chase a ball, but will only bring it back about half the time. In this, Katy has her beat. But rather than fetching a ball, Katy fetches hair bands.

As I was thinking through this, I realized it is much the same way with boys and girls. Even as infants, the way people play with a girl can be much different than a boy. There is often more of a gentle touch with a girl. Though they can't show a preference as a baby, even the toys we encourage them to play with are different.

A long time ago, there was a book out called Children's Letters to God. In there was a letter from a girl who wrote,

Dear God,

Do you like boys better than girls? I know you are one.

No, God doesn't like boys better than girls. And I don't like dogs better than cats. They are different. So, there are different ways of loving them. Even with the cats, there are nuances to my relationships with them.

And I suspect that there are nuances to God's relationships with each of us. Does He love any of us more or less? No. But He does know what we each need to feel loved.

What's Your Other Name?

The other day I was putting some medicine on Katy (one of my cats). She didn't squirm or anything like that, so I was telling her what a good girl she was. Hadley, who is in puppy obedience, came bounding into the room. She'll come sometimes when she is called, but it isn't 100% yet. So, her sudden appearance took me by surprise. Then it dawned on me. I thought, perhaps, she was responding to the phrase "good girl." You see, "Good girl" is often followed by a treat.

I know it may sound silly, but on days where I work both jobs, I take Hadley to doggy daycare. It's $6.25 and wears her out. I can then go to my evening job without too much guilt. I told Rose, one of the people working there that Hadley's second name was "Good girl."

Later that day, she was trying to get all the dogs on leashes and Hadley decided to play keep away. She called her several times without luck. She then opted to try "Good girl!" Hadley was there in a flash.

It's cute and funny, but it also got me thinking. Is there a word or phrase that you always respond to? Do you have a second name like my sweet Hadley?

It's not a name or phrase for me. But sometimes, there is a still, small tug in my soul. I don't respond to it 100%. I wish I did. But it always feels like God tugging on my soul to get my attention. Just like Hadley responding to "Good girl," there is always some "treat" or measure of peace when I respond to that tug.

How do you hear God?

Not the Why but the Who

Katy, my older cat, loves to sleep next to me. I lie on my side and hold the blanket up and she curls up next to my tummy as I let the blankets gently cover her. Often, I can't hear her purr, but as I rub her belly I can feel the vibrations, the contentment. It's a soothing ritual the two of us have developed.

Often times I have difficulty finding that kind of contentment. I think it is because I am driven to know the why of things. I like to know why it works and why you don't do it this other way. I like to know why things need to be this way rather than that way. I don't know that I actually pestered my parents so much with the questions. (I would have gotten immediate consequences if I had not had immediate obedience.) But, to the extent I was able, there was a quest for "Why?"

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Finish Line

I must say I was a little nervous going into my first race since track and field day in the 6th grade. (We won't talk about how long ago that was!) The Lake Bloomington Race was 4.37 miles. I placed 495. There were over 1100 people running. (Don't get to excited about that number as some did the longer 12K race. I don't know how many ran the short.) My official time was 1 hour and 5 minutes. My unofficial time was 1 hour four minutes and 30 seconds. (The difference is that slower runners started at the back and I kept track of how long it actually took us to get to the starting line!) That's about a 14:46 minute mile. Not too shabby after only running 8 weeks, huh?

I look pretty enthused here, don't I? I did a combination of walking and running. Marge was one of the Catch the Wave group 10 leaders. She ran the last quarter mile or so with me. I sprinted towards the end. Several people commented on how good I looked finishing. If only they could have seen me at mile 3!

I'm sure there will be ample analogies in the future. Right now, I think I might take a nap. I actually just got back from the dog park with Hadley so she is up for a nap as well!

Bad Bloggy Friend

Yes, I know that it is important to keep up with the whole blog thing. And I have been missing it. My blog time has fallen victim to a few things:

• The cutest thing it has fallen victim to has 4 legs and the cutest, wagginest tail. Right now she is giving me a reprieve and is curled up on the floor at my feet. If I could only schedule that behavior. It is very much like having a toddler. But I am enjoying my Hadley.
• Having a puppy also mean puppy class. So, we are practicing. Hadley now throws "sit" and "down" my way whenever she thinks she deserves a treat.
  
• Running. I am running my first race since field day in elementary school. (Yes, that was a really long time ago. I didn't win then and don't anticipate winning now. But finishing would be good!) So, I've been trying to put time in running. The race is 4.37 miles (one sixth of a marathon as the folks that the running club like to point out).
  
• This makes an excellent prelude to my competitive spirit. Yes, I have one of those. At work, we are having an 8 week health challenge. Everyone in my office is in on it. We get points for every minute of exercise, for eating fruits, vegetables, and having dairy, for reading about a health topic, for making a healthy dish and sharing it, for any number of things. It might not be too bad except out of 37 teams we placed 6th the first week. So, I've set the sights on 1st. (Last week we were 2nd.) The only problem is that rank is determined by the average number of points per person on each team. The one person team currently out front has an advantage. But they are also missing the advantage of having everyone in their office eating smarter. Our monthly junk food/pot luck day was turned into "Healthy Food Day." For every healthy dish that was prepared and shared we got points! But the competitive spirit has kicked in. Why only exercise 60 minutes when 120 will get you double the points?
• Read immediately above if you cannot fathom why I'm tuckered.

But I hope to do better here soon.... If you think of it pray for me on Saturday at the race!

Shaking Off Fears

Fear is one of those things with two sides, like two sides of a coin. On one hand, there things that it is healthy to be afraid of like the hot stove. These fears keep us from getting hurt.

But then there are fears that keep us from achieving what God may want us to do. These are the fears that say, "You can't do that" or "What will everyone think if you mess up?" I am way too consumed by these kinds of fears. They often keep me from trying, striving.

As you may know, I've started running the last couple of months. It's a program called "Catch the Wave" put on by the local running club for beginning runners. I missed the first two weeks, so I was already behind when everyone was suppose to run 6 minutes the third week. I struggled to keep pace with the lowest group, Group 10.

The next week, they added a transitional group and called it Tiger. I must of spaced on the idea of it being a "transitional" group and was sticking with that group. Last week, our leader was out so another experienced runner led the run. I ran fairly far ahead with her and we circled back periodically for the other members of the Tiger group. She told me four times that I should move up to Group 10. My initial reaction was, "I can't." It was intimidating to think about. Last week the Tiger group ran 4 and a half minutes and walked 2 and repeated that pattern. The other groups were running 16 and walking 4 or 5 minutes in between the running intervals. How could I even think of jumping up that much?

And then there was the other consideration. I've enjoyed getting to know Katie and Chris in the Tiger group. I would be moving up to a group where I didn't really know anyone. I have a definite anxiety about being around people I don't know.

I decided to take the leap. Tonight, I ran with Group 10. The plan was 5 minutes walking, 20 minutes running, 5 minutes walking, 20 minutes running, 5 minutes walking. My mind started going with the "I can't" statements before we started. But I decided to not look at my watch and just run.

Somehow, I ended up at the front with one of the leaders. It was a slow pace, but I needed that. I found myself acutely aware that people were running right behind me and if I slowed down I might get stepped on. Amazingly, I made it 17:30! I did a 7 minute walk and then tried the second 20. I actually made it about 12 out of the 20 during that stint.

My legs feel a bit like jello, but it is a happy, satisfied feeling.

How do we shake off fears?

1. Ask God if it is what He wants us to do. Is God concerned with my running? Maybe to a degree, though it isn't likely to impact things much. He is more concerned when I short change myself and, more importantly, Him.
2. Focus on the task at hand and not the fears. I just needed to run. I didn't need to worry about the time. My task was to put one foot in front of the other and just keep moving.
3. Focus on the God who gives strength and endurance. Things aren't always over with quickly. (It's amazing how long 20 minutes is!) In life, things can take years.
   

Elijah was a prophet who stood up to Ahab. But before things came to a head in 2 Kings, Elijah went through a drought/famine lasting several years. He was also pretty much on his own in terms of comrades. There were other prophets that God had saved, but none of them were near Elijah. Then God sends him to confront Ahab and Ahab's wife sends people out to kill Elijah. There were lots of scary situations. But God was with Elijah.

Maybe that is an over simplification of things. I need to figure out how to apply it all in the rest of life. But for today, I feel like I gave the fear of "I can't" a good swift kick.

A couple years ago, my friend Allison tried to teach me to run. She moved suddenly and the running stopped. I had a goal of running a mile straight. If I reached that goal, I told her girls I would take them for ice cream. I called her tonight to tell her they needed to do an ice cream run. That was a fun phone call -- even if it was a couple years in the coming.

Something to Think About

Just wanted to post really quick and ask all of you to pray about something. I received an email yesterday that had an opportunity inside. The person who emailed me asked me to pray about it, so I'm asking you to pray as well.

Honestly, my first inclination, is "Yes!" But I do want to ask God what He thinks too. While I am good at my job and such, I often wish that it was something I could really put my heart into. This is not a new job, but it could be an on going ministry and it could be something I could invest my heart in.

So, I'm praying for a few days. I do want discernment that will over ride my gut level response if that is what God wants. If not, I'd love to hear a "Go for it!" from God too.

Sorry. I don't feel like I should say much more than that right now.

Thanks for praying.