Showing posts with label connection. Show all posts
Showing posts with label connection. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

If I Had Only Known

Sometimes, others have already said it so much better than we ever could that it seems necessary to borrow their words. Carolyn Arends is a Christian singer/song writer. This song sums up the end of things with Bill for me. Here is a snippet of it:
If I had known only known
That you'd be leaving here so soon
I would not have been so flippant
When I offered you the moon.
I would pull my chair up closer
To the railing of your bed
Chosen much more carefully
The words I said
I would ask you for your stories
I would tell you mine
I would give you much more credit
I would take more of your time
There's so much I left unspoken
If you were here right now
Oh, I would love you out loud
Carolyn Arends
Love You Out Loud
Album: This Much I Understand

If I had only known:
  • I would have held your hand more often
  • I would have called you more just to say "Hello" even if we would be seeing each other in just a few hours.
  • I would have laughed when you tried to tame my crazy kitty Katy into coming to you no matter how late it made us for dinner
  • I would have pressed to meet your family sooner
  • I would have let you help me with more things instead of trying to be independent
  • I would have snuggled more
  • I would have told you more about my thoughts and feelings. Oh, it wasn't that you didn't it ask but just that I am not a natural talker.
  • I would have made you more cookies and peanut butter pie.

If I had only known that you'd be leaving here so soon, I would not have been so shy. I would have loved you out loud.

If you were here right now:

  • I'd let you help with flowers for the yard
  • I'd actually cook for you
  • I'd tell you how hard it was to have you go so suddenly
  • I'd laugh with you about Mali's antics. She would have you wrapped around that tiny paw.
  • I'd let you comfort me on some of the strange turns my life has taken
  • I'd tell you about the book I hope to write
  • I'd drive you crazy holding your hand
  • I'd laugh more
  • I'd smile more
  • I'd be the one to try and sneak the kiss
  • I'd count every second as a treasure

And, yes, I would love you out loud . . . .



Bill died April 23, 2007 from an aortic aneurysm. We had met at church. Our first date almost turned into a group outing. I was standing with Emily when he approached me and asked about a concert in Peoria that night. Assuming he meant a group outing, I turned to Emily and asked her if that sounded like fun. He graciously said that more people would be fine. But Emily caught on more quickly than I did and she declined.

When he picked me up he noticed that I didn't put the garage door down. I explained that it was broken and I had no clue what to do with it. The next day he came by to fix it for me. I was making cookies, so he stayed for some . . . .

He fixed that sill garage door 3 times! Third time was the charm. It hasn't broken since.

But I suppose instead, it's my heart that got broken to have him leave so suddenly. It's been a year and I still remember. It's been a year that was really hard in places, but my heart is healing. I'm making it through.

Bill brought me laughter and a feeling of connection that before I had only ever dreamed could happen. Without Bill I might have given up that the connection even really existed. While it hurt to say a sudden "Goodbye," there is hope in knowing that mystical connection is fact not fiction and even I can dare to reach out for it.