Smarter than a Cat?

I love my cats. I really do. However, they provide all kinds of unique challenges. Mali consistently runs off with all things soft. Katy has a weird (especially for a cat) obsession with water. Light weight bowls of water are batted so they go flying across the floor. Heavier bowls are tipped. Bowls in bases can be popped out! (I am not kidding!) The result is a consistently wet floor and socks.

Today I was in Peoria and went in to Pet Smart. I told one of the people working there my problem. She suggested super glue or one of the heavy water containers. Since I like to be able to clean the bowls, I thought I would pass on the super glue -- for now. I came home with a water fountain thing. (I'm not sure of the technical name.) Now, I have to wait and see how long it takes to have 3 gallons of water on my floor!

Here are the cats checking it out:

Katy (black and white) is usually the water spiller but also a bit more cautious about new things!

Mali wanted to see if she could tip 3 gallons. Thankfully, not yet!

Not Better, Just Different -- Boys, Girls, Cats, and Dogs

If you've read this blog for awhile, you will know that I am crazy about my pets. I had gotten a dog several years ago. I had her about 6 months, but it turned out that she had pretty severe separation anxiety. It broke my heart, but the situation wasn't good for either o us. When I took her back to the shelter, they suggested a cat. I was hesitant since I believed that cats were aloof. Out of pity on me, they suggested I take a certain cat home for the weekend and provided a litter box and food. Within the first 12 hours, I was sold.

I now have two cats. I think they really see themselves as dogs. They greet me at the door and Mali can even be persistent about having guests pet her. They both sleep with me.

Still longing for a dog I could walk with and such, I got Hadley a few months ago. It's been interesting to see how people respond. It's as if I've somehow joined the "right" club and people will say, "Don't you like having a dog better than cats?"

Truthfully, no. Don't get me wrong. I adore Hadley, though she is a good deal more work then Katy and Mali. I love all three of them. They are different, but neither is better than the other.

I interact with them differently. For example, my cats are quite a bit smaller than Hadley. Their bones feel lighter somehow. When I pet them or cuddle them, my touch is a bit more gentle. Hadley gets a bit more rough housing. She likes to be wrestled with and will play tug of war. Katy and Mali go nuts over the laser pointer. Hadley could care less.

Katy has always been a fetcher. Hadley is still learning to fetch. She'll chase a ball, but will only bring it back about half the time. In this, Katy has her beat. But rather than fetching a ball, Katy fetches hair bands.

As I was thinking through this, I realized it is much the same way with boys and girls. Even as infants, the way people play with a girl can be much different than a boy. There is often more of a gentle touch with a girl. Though they can't show a preference as a baby, even the toys we encourage them to play with are different.

A long time ago, there was a book out called Children's Letters to God. In there was a letter from a girl who wrote,

Dear God,

Do you like boys better than girls? I know you are one.

No, God doesn't like boys better than girls. And I don't like dogs better than cats. They are different. So, there are different ways of loving them. Even with the cats, there are nuances to my relationships with them.

And I suspect that there are nuances to God's relationships with each of us. Does He love any of us more or less? No. But He does know what we each need to feel loved.

Not the Why but the Who

Katy, my older cat, loves to sleep next to me. I lie on my side and hold the blanket up and she curls up next to my tummy as I let the blankets gently cover her. Often, I can't hear her purr, but as I rub her belly I can feel the vibrations, the contentment. It's a soothing ritual the two of us have developed.

Often times I have difficulty finding that kind of contentment. I think it is because I am driven to know the why of things. I like to know why it works and why you don't do it this other way. I like to know why things need to be this way rather than that way. I don't know that I actually pestered my parents so much with the questions. (I would have gotten immediate consequences if I had not had immediate obedience.) But, to the extent I was able, there was a quest for "Why?"

I'm posting today at the Internet Cafe. Click here to finish reading this post.

40 to 40 (Gratitude 3)

I've always thought of myself as more of a dog person. I like the way they greet you at the door and follow you around. A few years ago I had a dog for awhile. She was an older dog that I found at the Humane Society. What no one realized was that she was also an anxious dog. The more attached she became to me, the more anxious she became when I would leave. After 6 months of trying everything imaginable, I talked to the local shelter. The reassured me that even with knowing about the anxiety problem, they could find her a home.

Tearfully, I took her back and made one of the volunteers promise to bring her a treat of peanut butter on toast. (That was my breakfast most mornings and I always gave her the last bit.)

A woman at the shelter suggested I try a cat. I was skeptical, but eventually I ended up with two very dog like cats. Katy and Mali both greet me at the door. They follow me from room to room and are a general nuisance when I am on the computer. They just can't get enough lap time.

But as you can see below, they are both cats and like most cats, they love their naps.

Katy

Mali

I am grateful for having them in my lives. They help give me balance and something soft to cuddle when I'm feeling blue. If only I could take them for walks! It might help motivate me to exercise more.

Do you have a pet that helps round out your life?

Resting -- Hope Chronicles 72

I recently took this picture of Katy. I love it. The amazing thing is that she didn't even stir when I took it. Yes, I was trying to be quiet so I could capture the moment, but I thought the whir of the camera and the flash would wake her. If it did, she didn't let me know about it.

In some ways this is a picture of trust to me. Katy was sprawled out on one of our favorite and softest blankets. Mali was nearby, but Katy still spread out. She often doesn't do this when Mali is near because Mali is a pouncer.

One thing to know about cats is that they often take awhile to warm up to you. Staring directly at a cat may seem aggressive. Sometimes, that is why cats choose to go to those who ignore them. The go on their own terms.

They also do not often show their bellies. No, it is not a self-conscious thing. Rather it is self-protection. It's harder to escape from a prone position and their bellies are vulnerable spots. So, either this blanket was too inviting to pass up or Katy was trusting enough of me and Mali to relax into the softness.

This is a picture of rest -- relaxing even in the midst of something hard. I think of Psalm 23. God makes the write lie down in green pastures but then go through the valley of the shadow of death. In the end, God provides a banquet in the presence of the writer's enemies. I always wondered about this. But someone explained it once that once someone entered that person's house, they were under their protection. Thus, they could relax and enjoy the feast. Or in Katy's case, stretch out on the softest blanket around because she knew she was safe.

Do I rest in God like that? Do I stretch out and show Him my tender places? I long to say "Yes" but I know there are times when I am too busy protecting myself rather than letting Him protect me that I do not fully relax into Him.

Where there is trust there is rest. Where there is trust there is hope because we know that a feast awaits even in the presence of enemies. There is hope because God has called us his.

When We Shy Away

Katy has routinely greeted me for a couple of years now by doing the cat stretch and flopping on her back to have belly rubbed as soon as I come in the door. Occasionally, it is just a scratch of the ears and a few meows to let me know that it really is dinner time and I do not need to set anything down before feeding her. Most of the time, it is the belly rub.

Last night she surprised me by simply going to her bowl. I filled both bowls but she watched me warily and backed up when I tried to pet her. She actually walked away from the food until I walked away. She was fine the rest of the night -- purring on my lap and snuggling under the blankets. But I was initially alarmed.

But I didn't press the issue. I figured she would simply retreat under the dresser if I did.

I have no way of knowing was was going on in her mind. Did she have an ear ache? Did she just feel out of sorts? Was she simply tired and hungry?

It made me think about the times I shy away from people. I did that last week with someone I know well. I was suppose to see her on Tuesday, but I called and canceled on Monday. I never cancel. I deeply look forward to my time with Julie. But I felt an anxiety about it and backed away quickly. Yes, it was confusing to her.

From what I can gather, Julie was good about not taking it personally. Confusing, yes. But not personally.

I, however, tend to take all things personally -- no matter how hard I try to remind myself not to. And even the cat backing up seemed personal. While relatively mild, it stung. And I may have been overly solicitous in the treats later.

Today, I've thought about all the times I've backed up from God. Yes, He is all knowing. He knows the deep secrets and reasons in my heart. But, I still imagine it grieves Him when He reaches out to touch us and we pull away or back up. I've backed up in numerous ways: failing to have a quiet time, failing to heed a word or directive, making other things more important, and even for awhile dropping out of going to church.

Katy backing up, shying away, is infinitesimal in comparison. Really, there is no comparison. But it did get me thinking about how tender God's heart is to me and how much He longs to be in continual relationship.

With Bells On -- Hope Chronicles 52

I invested in some trinkets yesterday. One is gold and silver. The other is black and white. They have dangles and make faint jingling sounds. The best part about them is that they are lovingly inscribed.



However, my cats are less than thrilled with said trinkets -- especially since they went around their necks. Yes, I've had my cats for awhile but they've never worn collars. My rationale has been that they are indoor cats so they really didn't need them. Still, there was that one time Mali darted out on the deck. It was the middle of winter and she stopped immediately -- surprised by the cold snow.



When I went to She Speaks, a friend of a friend kept an eye on them for me. I warned her that when Mali sees you coming she will perch on the edge of the couch right by the door. Generally, it is a greeting. She wants her chin rubbed and her ears scratched. But I'm still cautious -- in and out the door quickly.



Having given her that warning, I decided that it might be best to get them collars with their name and my number. They both have the invisible microchip, but it would take an x-ray to figure that out if anyone even thought to take a stray cat to the vet to have that checked.



So, now they have some outward identification.



Katy and Mali aren't sure what to make of it. For safety, the collars detach if they get caught on something. They also came with little bells. Add to that the id tag and there is a faint jingle where ever they go. They both spent much of yesterday making cautious movements because of the sound their movements suddenly made. And there was lots of unhappy tail swishing at this new development.



A year and a half or so ago, my sister came to visit. At that point, I only had Katy. My sister had no interest in the cat. Unfortunately, cats are typically most drawn to people who are not interested in them. Add to that the stealthiness of cats, and my poor sister was continuously on guard. Katy would suddenly jump up from behind the couch . . . . Well, it didn't go well and I was continuously told to, "GET THE CAT!"



So, now my dear ones will be announced by bells.



Just as I had those tiny pieces of metal engraved, God engraves His name on our hearts. Our hearts are sealed for Him.



So, what about the bells? Is there anything that announces to others that we belong to God? In 2 Corinthians 2:15-16 (NIV) it says:

For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. To the one we are the smell of death; to the other the fragrance of life. And who is equal to such a task? Unlike so many, we do not peddle the word of God for profit. On the contrary, in Christ we speak before God with sincerity like men sent from God.

We are the aroma of Christ. To those who have turned their back on God, it is the smell of death. But to those who are searching, it is the fragrance of life. Wow. Am I the fragrance of life? Do my actions, my words, my attitude ring true with that thought?



Maybe it is a look I give a coworker or a complaint I make. Maybe it is a snide remark. Maybe it is just set in my shoulders that says, "Stay out of my way." I know sometimes, I do not "announce the good news."



So, I am asking God to remind me that I am His. I am asking that I will hear faint bells or smell heavenly smells in all that I do and say to remind me that I am His ambassador. May it remind me that where ever I am I have "bells on." May I be consistent with whose I am!

Obedient Heart -- Hope Chronlicles 47

I probably should have taken a before and after shot but then I might have been too embarrassed to post them. I did a major cleaning/organizing overhaul on my catch all room yesterday. It was a disaster, an embarrassment. While everything isn't sorted, a large portion 2/3 or so got toted off to the basement. You can actually walk through that room! This is a major accomplishment.

My basement is unfinished. There are lots of things to prowl around down there. After Katy got closed down there a couple of times without my thinking about it, I generally keep the cats up when I head there. But, I knew it would be a longer project, so I left the door open and decided to count heads when I was through.

Katy had been down there before and tired of it quickly. Mali was enthralled. On my last trip back up I realized she was way under the stairs playing happily. I didn't think I'd manage to snag her, but when I got to the kitchen I yelled in my most authoritative voice, "Mali! COME!" To my utter astonishment, my command took precedence over what she was so happily doing. She darted up those stairs and came to a halt right in front of me!

While we have worked on "come" for awhile, it has generally been distraction free and with me in sight. Just my body posture and position probably clue her in that treats are forthcoming. This, however, was by the sheer call.

Books will tell you that cats are not generally obedient. They need convincing that they want to do what you are asking. I think humans are like that too. At two, we start with "Why?" While some of that may be about rainbows, it can also be about going to bed.

Growing up I was very obedient. We did not question because we knew the consequences. Perhaps it wasn't about obedience as much as it was about fear. Even today, I am very law abiding and rule following. However, this belies a questioning heart. Whenever there is room (and sometimes when there is not), I've taken my freedom as an adult into an incessant questioning. I need to be convinced on many things.

But there are times when obedience is necessary without knowing the why of it. I think of a child careening through the yard after a ball that has rolled into the street, heedless of the oncoming car. When mom yells, "Suzie, STOP!!!" we hope in that instance Suzy will immediately heed the call.

That call is one of protection. It is also one of relationship. That child knows the mother's voice like the sheep know the shepherd's voice.

So, Mali's immediate obedience over something she was delighting in has caused me to pause. Do I respond so immediately to God's call? Understanding is a good thing, but sometimes it must be enough to know the ONE who calls and respond with immediate obedience.

It seems that there is hope in that because it reflects the depth of the relationship. Perhaps it is like the "folly" of asking God to teach patience, but I think I will ask anyway. I think it might be worth the risk.

God, teach me to have an obedient heart -- when there is time for questions but even more so when an instant response is necessary. Show me what it looks like to have that kind of relationship with you. Teach me to know that the only thing I must understand is your love and call on my life and that those are more than enough to answer any why.

A Glimpse Into Life With Cats

Things at my house recently got moved around. I use to do everything on my laptop but my cats were jealous of the computer. With recent changes, I now have a desktop on a desk in one room and have been doing things there.

Mali and Katy remain my constant companions. As you can see, they are supervising my work. This picture was not posed! (I'm trying to get ready for She Speaks. I wish I was accomplishing more than I am.)







But they don't always stay up top and out of the way. Just like my lap, they are jealous of my hands. Obviously, my hands should be caressing them so they spread out on keyboard. Or there are other times, like little children, they play in the midst of things. I barely caught this picture of Mali taking a swipe and diving into a wrestle with Katy.

Now, how am I suppose to get prepared?

Don't believe it when someone says that cats are aloof and off to themselves!

Please pray for my She Speaks prep. I really have more to do than I would like to admit!

Shaping -- Hope Chronicles 41

As you all probably know by now, I adore my talented cats. (For talent proof click here.) Teaching Mali (though today I did get Katy to do "UP" three times), has largely been tied to the idea of shaping and rewards or positive reinforcement.

Teaching Katy to beg for her treats was probably the most straight forward thing I've taught either one of them. I keep a can of hard treats on a shelf above the TV. I went and patted the door to get her attention. When she simply came over to where I was, I praised her and gave her a treat. But this wasn't the exact behavior I wanted. I wanted her to paw at the door and ultimately "meow" for her treat. I patted the door some more and she hopped on her hind legs to see what I was doing with my hand just out of reach. Treat.

We did this for several more days and she got the idea that if she pawed at the door, I would come over and give her a treat. (So maybe she ended up training me!) Finally, I decided to move onto the "meow." She did what I now considered her ask for a treat and I went to the TV but I didn't move to get the treats. She pawed some more. When no treat was forthcoming she let out a plaintive "meow." She got lots of praise and a couple treats!

It's called shaping because you start by rewarding an approximation of something. We do it with babies all the time. We want to see them crawl but we praise and encourage them if they make it on their knees or rock back and forth. We reward an approximation of something, the effort.

Honestly, I have been much more focused on training Mali than Katy. I taught Katy over a year ago to ask for a treat and then dropped the whole thing training aspect with anything else. Perhaps at that point it didn't dawn on me that I could train her to do other things. When I saw a book at the store and perused it, it mentioned starting when they are young. At 3 Katy is hardly old, but Mali is younger so I focused there.

I enjoy those little moments teaching Mali. Today, I thought, "Why not give Katy a chance?" It took a little coaxing and I had to use just the right food, but she got "up" for me.

So, how does this apply to hope and God? When I first taught either of them a trick, I had to be patient. I couldn't just say "ask" or "come" or "up" and have them know what I wanted. There was a learning process.

I'm fairly patient with them and children, but I lose patience so easily with myself. Why didn't I do it perfectly the first time? In my mind, an approximation of something doesn't count for me.

But when I really stop and think about it, all of life is an approximation. It is all learning. Carolyn Arends is my favorite Christian artist. She has a song called Getting Ready for Glory. It talks about how this life is all about getting ready for the next. It is, I believe, shaping and conforming us to Jesus likeness so that we are ready to meet God.

Here's a bit of the song:

She's had 80 some years,

Most of them good,

But she's not gonna be here much longer

Now the body gets weak

Like she knew it would

But the spirit just keeps getting stronger

She's got her Bible and hymn book beside her

She storing those songs and old stories up inside her

She's getting ready,

She's getting ready,

She's getting ready for glory.

She knows all of the verses

to How Great Thou Art

And her soul it doth magnify often

And she's gonna keep learning

the scriptures by heart

til the day she is laid in her coffin

She wants to be sure when the angels come take her

That's she's got some greetings for meeting her maker

There's more, but you get the idea. This life -- the joys and sorrows, the hardships and comforts, the triumphs and failures -- is all about shaping us and getting us ready for glory.

The idea of everything shaping me for God puts hope into every bit of what happens in my life.

Just for Fun -- Cat Tricks

You've heard me talk alot about Mali's antics and also her amazing ability to learn. (This is largely dependent on there being a food reward.) Finally, some evidence of her hula hoop abilities in still. Click here for a short video of all her tricks, but we are still trying to learn new things!

No, it isn't that I have too much time on my hands! I saw a book at the bookstore and paged through it. I thought I would try it. The hula hoop was my idea. Cats have short attention spans, so we've only worked on it a few minutes each day. I enjoy the interaction with her on this level.

Katy is just as smart -- maybe even smarter. She knows she gets treats without having to work for them. Though I did teach her to ask for them!

So for everyone who has said to me, "You can't teach a cat tricks," here is my proof:

I always thought of myself as more of a dog person. But time just hasn't permited all that a dog needs. So, I ended up with cats. I must admit that I am crazy about them. Part of it is that they seem to feel the same about me and follow me from room to room. They want to be part of things. I'm finding it difficult to type with Katy on keyboard! She definitely believes my lap is her territory!

Many blessings today!

If I Had Only Known

Sometimes, others have already said it so much better than we ever could that it seems necessary to borrow their words. Carolyn Arends is a Christian singer/song writer. This song sums up the end of things with Bill for me. Here is a snippet of it:

If I had known only known

That you'd be leaving here so soon

I would not have been so flippant

When I offered you the moon.

I would pull my chair up closer

To the railing of your bed

Chosen much more carefully

The words I said

I would ask you for your stories

I would tell you mine

I would give you much more credit

I would take more of your time

There's so much I left unspoken

If you were here right now

Oh, I would love you out loud

Carolyn Arends

Love You Out Loud

Album: This Much I Understand

If I had only known:

• I would have held your hand more often
• I would have called you more just to say "Hello" even if we would be seeing each other in just a few hours.
• I would have laughed when you tried to tame my crazy kitty Katy into coming to you no matter how late it made us for dinner
• I would have pressed to meet your family sooner
• I would have let you help me with more things instead of trying to be independent
• I would have snuggled more
• I would have told you more about my thoughts and feelings. Oh, it wasn't that you didn't it ask but just that I am not a natural talker.
• I would have made you more cookies and peanut butter pie.

If I had only known that you'd be leaving here so soon, I would not have been so shy. I would have loved you out loud.

If you were here right now:

• I'd let you help with flowers for the yard
• I'd actually cook for you
• I'd tell you how hard it was to have you go so suddenly
• I'd laugh with you about Mali's antics. She would have you wrapped around that tiny paw.
• I'd let you comfort me on some of the strange turns my life has taken
• I'd tell you about the book I hope to write
• I'd drive you crazy holding your hand
• I'd laugh more
• I'd smile more
• I'd be the one to try and sneak the kiss
• I'd count every second as a treasure

And, yes, I would love you out loud . . . .

---

Bill died April 23, 2007 from an aortic aneurysm. We had met at church. Our first date almost turned into a group outing. I was standing with Emily when he approached me and asked about a concert in Peoria that night. Assuming he meant a group outing, I turned to Emily and asked her if that sounded like fun. He graciously said that more people would be fine. But Emily caught on more quickly than I did and she declined.

When he picked me up he noticed that I didn't put the garage door down. I explained that it was broken and I had no clue what to do with it. The next day he came by to fix it for me. I was making cookies, so he stayed for some . . . .

He fixed that sill garage door 3 times! Third time was the charm. It hasn't broken since.

But I suppose instead, it's my heart that got broken to have him leave so suddenly. It's been a year and I still remember. It's been a year that was really hard in places, but my heart is healing. I'm making it through.

Bill brought me laughter and a feeling of connection that before I had only ever dreamed could happen. Without Bill I might have given up that the connection even really existed. While it hurt to say a sudden "Goodbye," there is hope in knowing that mystical connection is fact not fiction and even I can dare to reach out for it.

Too Funny!

I don't intend to jinx anything, but I'm declaring that spring has arrived! In honor of that when I got home from work, I did the celebratory throw open the windows jig. Katy (my shy and timid one) was thrilled. But then she has been through this a time or two. She claimed the choice spot on the window sill where she can see and hear and smell all that spring has to offer.

In contrast, my fierce Mali took refuge on the stairs! It's been over an hour now and she has finally gotten on a box beneath the window and keeps popping her head up and down to check if it is safe. My guess is that it is the noise from the cars going by that has her spooked! Very funny since she tolerates the noise and antics of small children so well!

Not Why but Who -- Hope Chronicles 28

Katy, my older cat, loves to sleep next to me. I lie on my side and hold the blanket up and she curls up next to my tummy as I let the blankets gently cover her. Often, I can't hear her purr, but as I rub her belly I can feel the vibrations, the contentment. It's a soothing ritual the two of us have developed.

As you have guessed, I like cats. I also like useless bits of trivia. Without using Google see if you know the following:

1. Only one type of cat lives in a group and it is _________.
2. The first state to ratify the constitution was _________.
3. The first female doctor was _____________.
4. Why do hummingbirds hum? (No, it isn't, he he, that they don't know the words)
5. The movement to get women the right to vote began in 1848. How many years did it take to achieve it?
6. How many stripes are on the American flag?
7. What Midwestern city adds coco to it's famous chili and what is the brand name?

Stop right now and write down the answers. No peeking as I've put them at the very bottom. I'll send a small gift card to whomever gets the most right first. (You can only play in the next 48 hours!) You are all on the honor system.

That was a long prelude to what this post is really about -- that "Why?" question. Even more than knowing useless bits of trivia, I like to understand the why of things. I like to know why it works and why you don't do it this other way. I like to know why things need to be this way rather than that way. I don't know that I actually pestered my parents so much with the questions. (I would have gotten immediate consequences if I had not had immediate obedience.) But, to the extent I was able, there was a quest for "Why?"

Even today, "why" still comes into play. Please don't tell me to do something without explaining the reason behind it. In my mind, comprehension is everything.

I don't think I'm that far off from a lot of people. I may do it more than most in day to day interactions, but when the really big things happen, we all find ourselves asking "Why?"

November 2006 I started dating Bill. After the first date, we pretty much saw each other every day. We hit a rough patch the end of March, but I anticipated getting back together. I didn't think it was a forever break. I thought we both needed to get our bearings. After all, we had been moving pretty fast over the last several months -- to the point that we had spoken of marriage. Bill had vowed, "I'd marry you tomorrow if you'd let me."

The middle of April Bill suffered an aortic aneurysm. His gentle heart split open. They managed to do surgery and he lingered a few days, but he never truly came around. I got to talk to him and pray with him in a one-sided kind of way, but we never had the final conversation that I longed for.

When it first happened I went to a grief support group for a time. Eventually, I needed it less and less. But tonight I went back. That year anniversary is coming quickly and I don't want to be caught off guard. Anniversaries can be tricky to navigate.

Lots of people in the room had much more recent losses than mine -- November, December, January. And several expressed "why" questions. "Why so quickly?" "Why with all the medical advances?" "Why wasn't I there at the very end? I only left for a moment."

It was interesting because everyone in the room tonight expressed some type of faith. That hasn't always been the case. I came away thinking that "why" questions have their merits, but the better question is "Who?"

• Who walked this earth and is intimately acquainted with our grief? (Isaiah 53:3)
• Who wept when His friend died? (John 11:35)
• Who comforts those who walk through the valley of the shadow of death? (Psalm 23)
• Who prepares a table before us in the presence of our enemies? (Psalm 23)
• Who has compassion on the heavy laden? (Matthew 11:28)
• Who rejoices over us with singing? (Zephaniah 3:17)

Knowing the "why" pales in comparison of knowing the WHO that is Jesus who has welcomed our loved ones home and stands with arms open wide to comfort us in our grief as we wrestle with the "why". Just as Katy snuggles in close to me, we can snuggle into Jesus.

And I was serious about that small gift card! Leave me those answers..... and then check to see if you are right!

Answers:

1. Lions 2. Delaware 3. Elizabeth Blackwell 4. It's the sound that their wings make from moving so fast. 5. 72 years with the first legal voting happening in 1920 6. 13 -- one for each of the original colonies 7. Cincinnati's Skyline Chili -- very yummy. Of course, I grew up on it . . . .

Update and A Bit on the Ligher Side

Since I've asked many of you to pray over the last week about my going to NIU as a volunteer, I feel the need to update you. I'm not going. It's not for a lack of willingness, but it seems that it wasn't in God's plan at this moment. So, I have been praying today and will continue to do so. I just never heard from anyone other than the last email I posted about on Thursday. We were specifically told not to call because NIU was already inundated with phone calls about various things.

On a different note, I had a fun and encouraging day. At church this moring, we had a birthday party for EVERYONE. We were celebrating a year of doing KidStuf. I snapped lots of really cute pictures like this one of Lydia, Elena, and Grace. The thing that impresses me about many of the kids at my church is that they are so kind. I've seen it in various ways with older kids helping younger ones. And the younger ones just adore the older ones.

When I took 8 kids skating in December, they ranged in ages from 5-13. The older ones could have ignored the younger ones, but they didn't! I love to see the mix. It just so happens that the virtue this month was kindness. The parents got to brag on their children during service.

I've been getting to know Joe and Debbie and their two children. I've been in their community group and they have invited me over several times. I've invited them over a number of times, but they have never made it. (I suspect that part of it was a fear that their kiddos would destroy my house. While I don't want things destroyed, I have a pretty high tolerance level for kid messes and enjoy them -- the kids, that is.) Joe had to bow out, but Debbie, Lucas, and Raquel came for homemade soup and grilled cheese. We then made Peanut Blossoms (Hershey Kiss cookies.)

Raquel seemed to really enjoy making the cookies. She did a great job rolling the peanut butter balls in sugar. Lucas unwrapped the kisses but I think more ended up in him than on the plate for the cookies!

Even when the cookies had been baked, Lucas went for the chocolate. He then told me he wanted to share and gave me the peanut butter part. I discretely disposed of the ABC (Already Been Chewed on) cookie.

Both Lucas and Raquel were enthralled with Mali. (Katy is my shy kitty and she hid while they were here, but Mali doesn't mind company a bit.) I've been teaching Mali to do tricks like come, sit, and up. She was even willing to do up for Raquel and I finally have proof of my little one's talent. Hollywood here we come!

Have a blessed week!

Princess or Stray? (Part 3) -- Hope Chronicles 19 cont.

This idea of the princess and stray has been wiggling about in my brain for a couple of months. It came to fruition with yet another food incident with Mali. (Click here for part 1 and here for part 2 if you don’t know what I am referring to. It'll all make more sense if you do!) I feel like God gave me the image of the princess and the stray and I’ve enjoyed writing about it.

Here is my confession and my disclaimer; I have not yet arrived in this area. So, I can give you a glimpse of where I have been and the path I am on, but I don’t know yet all the twists and turns it will take. Having said that, here it goes – from one stray to another!

---

Over the years, I have come to believe that there is a container in each of our hearts. The conatiners get filled up when we are loved on and are that with which we pour love into others. Through our lives, that container gets beat on and dented. Maybe it was the taunting of the kids at school or never having mom say she loved you. Maybe it was something big like the death of a parent in your tender, early years. Maybe it was all the little things that accumulated into something big. Maybe it was abuse. I don’t know what it might be for you.

Sometimes, the things of life come so hard that the container gets punctured. Sometimes they are tiny holes and other times they are jagged, gapping holes. When the container gets punctured, all the love and good things leak out. I know that there have been times that in spite of an outpouring of love and care, I have remained thirsty for more and more because every drop that gets poured in runs out.

God has always intended for me to be a princess – the beloved child of the King of the universe. Life has made me a stray.

How does a stray heart become a princess heart?

First and foremost, I need to believe that God is in the business of fixing broken hearts, broken containers. He can hammer out the dents and fix the holes. It’s not always the easiest or quickest of processes, but God is all about making me whole. But I need to believe Him first so that He can work on all those hard areas.

In Mark 6, Jesus visits his hometown. Maybe it was that they knew him when he was a child, but the people of Nazareth had a hard time believing Jesus. Their lack of belief was actually limiting. In verses 5-6 it says, “And he could do no mighty work there, except that he laid his hands on a few sick people and healed them. And he marveled because of their unbelief.” (ESV)

Do I think God could do whatever He wanted? Yes. But I’ve heard it put this way. God is a gentleman. He will not force himself into a life. Though it alternately makes His heart dance for joy or crushes Him, we are free to accept or reject Him.

But it isn’t easy to just say, “I believe.” The father who brought his son to Jesus for healing and said, “If you can do anything, take pity on us and help us,” had the right of it. " 'If you can'?" said Jesus. "Everything is possible for him who believes." How does the father respond? “I believe. Help me overcome my unbelief.” (NIV) I am learning to pray this prayer.

But even then, it doesn’t mean that all the holes are neatly zapped. (Oh, that it were so!) Yes, God sometimes does an “instant miracle.” But I am learning that it is often God’s way to work over time. The healing that comes after 10 or 20 years is no less a miracle, no less a work of God, than the one that happened in an instant. Perhaps, there is some part of my character that needs to be honed, something I need to learn in the time spent in dependence on God that I would not learn if He had chose to zap that area. (But I will admit to a certain level of frustration when the tears are flowing.)

I recently learned that the word used to describe Jesus’ transfiguration (Mark 9) and our transformation are the same word. The only difference is that when it describes Jesus it is in the passive tense, a sense of already being. For us it is an active tense describing the process of becoming.

I need to understand who God is. I need to know Him intimately. I’m striving to keep scripture always in front of me.

I need to trust God. It is only in knowing Him that I can fully trust Him with all the dark places in my life that keep me in the land of “Never Enough,” that keep me suspecting that He is holding out on me.

I need to live in a community of consistency. Granted, I will never find full consistency in the human realm, but a community striving to be consistent goes a long way. Going back to my Mali. It is continuing to consistently feed her. Not that I would stop feeding her, but sometimes I shake my head and wonder when her heart will change. (I imagine God does that with me!) It’s through consistency I learn to trust.

I survived a childhood fraught with abuse. That has left the large, jagged holes in my heart. I have been in counseling forever! I’ve been with Julie, my present counselor, 6 ½ years. Sometimes I bemoan the fact that it is taking so long. (Note to self. Reread the paragraph about miracles that take 10-20 years.) I started seeing her after a disastrous counseling relationship. When I bemoan it taking so long, Julie gently reminds me that it took year to a year and a half for me to begin to trust her. But her persistent consistency won out. Julie is great, but God is even immeasurably more persistent and consistent.

Some friends from church also get the consistent-over-the-long-haul awards. I suspect, at times, they’ve wondered if my high need would ever diminish. (Sometimes it resurfaces even now). But they have stuck it out with me in little and big ways. I need to remember that and be lovingly consistent with others as well. It has the power to change lives.

I choose to believe God that I am his wholly and dearly loved child. I am “now and not yet.” In spite of my stray heart, I am more princess than stray for God has laid claim to my heart. So rather than a stray, I am a princess in progress.

One day my heart will fully be a princess heart that fully trusts my God and King. I will reside not just in Plenty but the land of Abundantly More Than Enough. Just as in the Old Testament God was the Levites' inheritance; God is my strength and portion. Who could ask for anything more?

Princess in Progress