With Bells On

A while back I invested in some trinkets. One is gold and silver. The other is black and white. They have dangles and make faint jingling sounds. The best part about them is that they are lovingly inscribed -- name and phone number.

However, my cats are less than thrilled with said trinkets -- especially since they went around their necks. Yes, I've had my cats for a while but they've never worn collars. My rationale has been that they are indoor cats so they really didn't need them. Still, there was that one time Mali darted out on the deck.

I'm posting at the Internet Cafe today. Click here to read the rest!

Smarter than a Cat?

I love my cats. I really do. However, they provide all kinds of unique challenges. Mali consistently runs off with all things soft. Katy has a weird (especially for a cat) obsession with water. Light weight bowls of water are batted so they go flying across the floor. Heavier bowls are tipped. Bowls in bases can be popped out! (I am not kidding!) The result is a consistently wet floor and socks.

Today I was in Peoria and went in to Pet Smart. I told one of the people working there my problem. She suggested super glue or one of the heavy water containers. Since I like to be able to clean the bowls, I thought I would pass on the super glue -- for now. I came home with a water fountain thing. (I'm not sure of the technical name.) Now, I have to wait and see how long it takes to have 3 gallons of water on my floor!

Here are the cats checking it out:

Katy (black and white) is usually the water spiller but also a bit more cautious about new things!

Mali wanted to see if she could tip 3 gallons. Thankfully, not yet!

Not Better, Just Different -- Boys, Girls, Cats, and Dogs

If you've read this blog for awhile, you will know that I am crazy about my pets. I had gotten a dog several years ago. I had her about 6 months, but it turned out that she had pretty severe separation anxiety. It broke my heart, but the situation wasn't good for either o us. When I took her back to the shelter, they suggested a cat. I was hesitant since I believed that cats were aloof. Out of pity on me, they suggested I take a certain cat home for the weekend and provided a litter box and food. Within the first 12 hours, I was sold.

I now have two cats. I think they really see themselves as dogs. They greet me at the door and Mali can even be persistent about having guests pet her. They both sleep with me.

Still longing for a dog I could walk with and such, I got Hadley a few months ago. It's been interesting to see how people respond. It's as if I've somehow joined the "right" club and people will say, "Don't you like having a dog better than cats?"

Truthfully, no. Don't get me wrong. I adore Hadley, though she is a good deal more work then Katy and Mali. I love all three of them. They are different, but neither is better than the other.

I interact with them differently. For example, my cats are quite a bit smaller than Hadley. Their bones feel lighter somehow. When I pet them or cuddle them, my touch is a bit more gentle. Hadley gets a bit more rough housing. She likes to be wrestled with and will play tug of war. Katy and Mali go nuts over the laser pointer. Hadley could care less.

Katy has always been a fetcher. Hadley is still learning to fetch. She'll chase a ball, but will only bring it back about half the time. In this, Katy has her beat. But rather than fetching a ball, Katy fetches hair bands.

As I was thinking through this, I realized it is much the same way with boys and girls. Even as infants, the way people play with a girl can be much different than a boy. There is often more of a gentle touch with a girl. Though they can't show a preference as a baby, even the toys we encourage them to play with are different.

A long time ago, there was a book out called Children's Letters to God. In there was a letter from a girl who wrote,

Dear God,

Do you like boys better than girls? I know you are one.

No, God doesn't like boys better than girls. And I don't like dogs better than cats. They are different. So, there are different ways of loving them. Even with the cats, there are nuances to my relationships with them.

And I suspect that there are nuances to God's relationships with each of us. Does He love any of us more or less? No. But He does know what we each need to feel loved.

Toddler?

I had a dog for a bit as a child. Her name was Heidi. I was probably about 7. She would start out in her bed on the floor, but she typically ended up in my bed. I didn't invite her, but that is where she would be found in the morning. I was crushed when my dad insisted that she had to go. We gave her to an aunt. I don't think my yearning to have a dog has ever gone away.

A few years ago, I got a dog from the Humane Society. Her name was Cassie. I had her for 6 months and was crushed when after consulting with the Humane Society we decided she was probably best in a different home. She was pretty high strung. It turns out that she was very anxious to the point that she was on meds. She really needed to be around someone who was home more often.

The Humane Society encouraged me to try a cat. As you know if you follow this blog, I now have two cats. I'm crazy about them.

But still, something in me has longed for a dog. I liked going for walks with Cassie and such. So, I've ended up with a puppy. Her name is Hadley. I've had her about a month. I think she is a bit like a toddler. Everything goes in her mouth if I'm not looking! But I have enjoyed her. I'm just not sure the cats have!

Seriously, she is pretty laid back and incredibly social. She gets along well with other dogs and is friendly with people. She has done reasonably well with the cats. She chases them on occasion, but she also puts up with unprovoked boxing of her long ears. Mali, in particular, has made it her mission to keep Hadley in line.

Why Hadley? Well, the folks who had her before me were calling her Harley. I just couldn't manage to stick with that. Yet, I didn't want to confuse her by changing it too much. So, I went with Hadley.

Wisdom and Curiosity

I don't light candles much at home because my cats are climbers. This candle was on the mantel and Mali was athletic enough to make it up there. But watching her with it got me thinking about wisdom and curiosity.

Which one of these pictures are you?

I think the picture on the left shows some reserve, some decent caution. The picture to the right is when curiosity bombarded in. While she never actually touched it, she did sniff and hover about it for around an hour. Then I blew it out because I didn't want to keep tabs on the candle with her around!

In someways, I think curiosity and wisdom go hand in hand. Curiosity about how things work are probably what has brought so many inventions. But there has to be wisdom in knowing when and how to use them.

With a little help from the serpent, Adam and Eve grew curious about the fruit on the tree in the middle of the garden. They could eat anything else, but they wondered if the serpent's lie was true. Would the fruit really make them like God? A bit more wisdom might have been in order.

Moses was curious and wise. When he saw a burning bush that wasn't burning up, he went over to investigate. I probably would have run for help. In his wisdom, he knew he was in a holy place and when instructed to take off his sandals, that is exactly what he does!

Nothing too profound today, but I do wonder where wisdom and/or dangerous curiosity come in to play in my life. Do I know when to turn to God rather than listen to lies? Do I know when I stand on holy ground/or are among holy moments in my life so that I can metaphorically take off my sandals?

Resting -- Hope Chronicles 72

I recently took this picture of Katy. I love it. The amazing thing is that she didn't even stir when I took it. Yes, I was trying to be quiet so I could capture the moment, but I thought the whir of the camera and the flash would wake her. If it did, she didn't let me know about it.

In some ways this is a picture of trust to me. Katy was sprawled out on one of our favorite and softest blankets. Mali was nearby, but Katy still spread out. She often doesn't do this when Mali is near because Mali is a pouncer.

One thing to know about cats is that they often take awhile to warm up to you. Staring directly at a cat may seem aggressive. Sometimes, that is why cats choose to go to those who ignore them. The go on their own terms.

They also do not often show their bellies. No, it is not a self-conscious thing. Rather it is self-protection. It's harder to escape from a prone position and their bellies are vulnerable spots. So, either this blanket was too inviting to pass up or Katy was trusting enough of me and Mali to relax into the softness.

This is a picture of rest -- relaxing even in the midst of something hard. I think of Psalm 23. God makes the write lie down in green pastures but then go through the valley of the shadow of death. In the end, God provides a banquet in the presence of the writer's enemies. I always wondered about this. But someone explained it once that once someone entered that person's house, they were under their protection. Thus, they could relax and enjoy the feast. Or in Katy's case, stretch out on the softest blanket around because she knew she was safe.

Do I rest in God like that? Do I stretch out and show Him my tender places? I long to say "Yes" but I know there are times when I am too busy protecting myself rather than letting Him protect me that I do not fully relax into Him.

Where there is trust there is rest. Where there is trust there is hope because we know that a feast awaits even in the presence of enemies. There is hope because God has called us his.

With Bells On -- Hope Chronicles 52

I invested in some trinkets yesterday. One is gold and silver. The other is black and white. They have dangles and make faint jingling sounds. The best part about them is that they are lovingly inscribed.



However, my cats are less than thrilled with said trinkets -- especially since they went around their necks. Yes, I've had my cats for awhile but they've never worn collars. My rationale has been that they are indoor cats so they really didn't need them. Still, there was that one time Mali darted out on the deck. It was the middle of winter and she stopped immediately -- surprised by the cold snow.



When I went to She Speaks, a friend of a friend kept an eye on them for me. I warned her that when Mali sees you coming she will perch on the edge of the couch right by the door. Generally, it is a greeting. She wants her chin rubbed and her ears scratched. But I'm still cautious -- in and out the door quickly.



Having given her that warning, I decided that it might be best to get them collars with their name and my number. They both have the invisible microchip, but it would take an x-ray to figure that out if anyone even thought to take a stray cat to the vet to have that checked.



So, now they have some outward identification.



Katy and Mali aren't sure what to make of it. For safety, the collars detach if they get caught on something. They also came with little bells. Add to that the id tag and there is a faint jingle where ever they go. They both spent much of yesterday making cautious movements because of the sound their movements suddenly made. And there was lots of unhappy tail swishing at this new development.



A year and a half or so ago, my sister came to visit. At that point, I only had Katy. My sister had no interest in the cat. Unfortunately, cats are typically most drawn to people who are not interested in them. Add to that the stealthiness of cats, and my poor sister was continuously on guard. Katy would suddenly jump up from behind the couch . . . . Well, it didn't go well and I was continuously told to, "GET THE CAT!"



So, now my dear ones will be announced by bells.



Just as I had those tiny pieces of metal engraved, God engraves His name on our hearts. Our hearts are sealed for Him.



So, what about the bells? Is there anything that announces to others that we belong to God? In 2 Corinthians 2:15-16 (NIV) it says:

For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. To the one we are the smell of death; to the other the fragrance of life. And who is equal to such a task? Unlike so many, we do not peddle the word of God for profit. On the contrary, in Christ we speak before God with sincerity like men sent from God.

We are the aroma of Christ. To those who have turned their back on God, it is the smell of death. But to those who are searching, it is the fragrance of life. Wow. Am I the fragrance of life? Do my actions, my words, my attitude ring true with that thought?



Maybe it is a look I give a coworker or a complaint I make. Maybe it is a snide remark. Maybe it is just set in my shoulders that says, "Stay out of my way." I know sometimes, I do not "announce the good news."



So, I am asking God to remind me that I am His. I am asking that I will hear faint bells or smell heavenly smells in all that I do and say to remind me that I am His ambassador. May it remind me that where ever I am I have "bells on." May I be consistent with whose I am!

Hope's Choice

Here she is, the object of all my work the last few weeks. I use to write papers for classes and such without much thought. I wrote a thesis. Once, I helped write 4 chapters in a book. But, as a friend who writes said when I mentioned the struggle I was having, "You're a bit out of practice!" Yes, I blog consistently, but blogging and chapter writing are two different things.

The proposed title is Hope's Choice. I'm proposing 12 chapters totaling 40,000 words broken down in to 4 content sections. With the proposal, you have to write 3 sample chapters. I did the following chapters: Hope Deferred -- When Life Doesn't Measure Up; Fixing Our Eyes on Hope; and Hope Transforms Relationship with God.

With all the work and steam coming out of my keyboards, it seems that she should be a bit bulkier. But then, there are only 3 chapters out of 12. She is only a quarter of what she will be!

I went to church and came home immersed myself in the Fixing Our Eyes chapter. But, I got stuck, so I retreated to my bed and set the alarm for an hour. I laid there praying, thinking, dozing. Suddenly it got really dark and windy. As I sprinted to my computer the rain had started and my computer was doing an abnormal shut down. I couldn't remember if I had saved all that I wanted. PANIC!

I had visions of a story my friend Jill tells. She was working on her last book. The computer crashed. It had already been a trying day. Mark came home to find Jill eating the chocolate frosting out of the can. She was in need of some comfort food.

I had saved. But it did prompt me to also save each piece to a flash drive.

The conference is called She Speaks but it should be She ____________ and fill in the blank.

I would list the following:

• She jots notes on odds and ends
• She writes, deletes, writes, deletes
• She spends all day writing, forgetting the laundry, the dishes, the cats
• No, wait. She can't forget the cats as they are on top of the desk trying to get her attention
• She prays
• She edits
• She obsesses
• She worries
• She HOPES

Still much to do in the talk department. And I'm sure I will not be able resist editing a bit more.

And then there is packing....

Oh, and trying to figure out my "face." I often go natural, but have begun to think a little makeup might not hurt. I have some. I've been experimenting a bit with that and the hair.

Today, at church, a good friend and I were talking. We were kind of side ways from each other. He said, "Oh, my gosh, what happened to your eye?"

"Make up"

"Oh, yeah. It was just the light. Really it looks good."

Sigh on my part. I didn't think I had done that bad of a job.

"It's just the light. Really. I think I'll stop talking now....."

Probably wise.

But it prompted me to get Jill's opinion on the makeup. (Did it look like someone hit me?) She liked the purple eye makeup and the bit of mascara (I never do mascara or eye makeup). She thought it looked fine! But then the lights were up higher....

He's forgiven, but I have to give him a hard time about it.

We'll see if I decide to risk it at She Speaks.

Oh, and then there are the talks. Let's not talk about them. They are more undone than done. Lots of thoughts but little on paper.

Please keep praying!

Chronicling Hope and a Question for YOU

I'm off and visiting other blogs (when I should be writing), but I have to come back to my blog to pick up a few links. As I was doing my blog hopping, I noticed the top of my blog archives says "111". That means that I have blogged here 111 times. Because I like even numbers, I'm making this blog so that it will be 112!

But really, when I started I thought I would blog once or twice a week. The pictures and quotes are a bit misleading (back dated to make the links at the navigation bar at the top). I really started blogging here in early December. That means I average a blog every couple of days.


That is kind of amazing to me. Even more amazing is that people read and leave nice little comments. I love the give and take of it.

What do I blog about? Everything. It seems that my life has turned into one big, bloggy event. Everything is fodder for the blog. And it has increased my fascination with my camera. It's so fun to illustrate.

So, really, what do I blog about:

• My cats. It's amazing how prominently they are featured and that they provide so much material.




• Friendships. Relationships are huge for me. I'm always trying to think through those.




• Singleness. Though, while I mention it some, this hasn't been as big of a pull for me as I thought it might. However, I've appreciated all of you married people out there leaving your words of encouragement.




• Kids. I love kids, so my adventures with them -- if it is ice skating or watching them nap on the couch with a cat -- all go into blogdom.




• God. This blog is meant to be about God's work in the day to day things of life. As I've sought to write about Him, it is amazing all the ways He has shown himself to me.




• I would be remiss if I didn't mention that this blog is about HOPE. I started it on a mission to write weekly about hope. Of those 111 posts, 48 are hope related or part of what I call Hope Chronicles. A friend told me the other day that she starts reading and wonders how I will bring it around to hope. (The Hope Chronicle title gives it away.) Yet, she said that I always manage to, that I come at hope from all different angles.

As I've sought to prepare, God keeps bringing this image to mind:

Isn't it amazing where things grow? Rocks wouldn't seem to be a good flowerbed, but here they are with just a little soil. With God, we can find hope in the most unlikely places.

Writing about hope has been my way of combating depression. While, I still do the other things to help, it has been the first time I've made such a concerted effort to turn the wave of my thoughts. It has been a blessing and a wonderful choice.

I'm going to She Speaks. I'm working on a book proposal about hope. It's not meant to just be for those who are depressed. I want it to reach a broader audience. But, I need 3 chapters. I've got some ideas and have started and stopped various things. But now I am starting to panic. It is so close....

I thought I would ask, if you've read some of my stuff on hope or even if you are new to my site, does any one stand out to you? No, I'm not asking you to spend hours reading -- unless you want to. But if there was one idea that grabbed you and you remember it, could you leave me a note? I'll hunt down the specifics. Just jot something like -- "The difference between your cats being a princess or stray" or "Your thought about the moon" or "Riding horses."

While I have the ideas and somethings started, I think this would help me know what speaks to people and some encouragement as I stay up late and get up early to write and to speak. (I opted for the speaker's track officially, but I'm really doing a combination.)

I'm going on June 19th. And the conference starts the late afternoon of the 20th. But since I'm there early, they gave me early appointments on the 20th (11:30 and noon) for my book proposal. I am meeting with an agent and the representative from Howard House.

Please pray!

A Glimpse Into Life With Cats

Things at my house recently got moved around. I use to do everything on my laptop but my cats were jealous of the computer. With recent changes, I now have a desktop on a desk in one room and have been doing things there.

Mali and Katy remain my constant companions. As you can see, they are supervising my work. This picture was not posed! (I'm trying to get ready for She Speaks. I wish I was accomplishing more than I am.)







But they don't always stay up top and out of the way. Just like my lap, they are jealous of my hands. Obviously, my hands should be caressing them so they spread out on keyboard. Or there are other times, like little children, they play in the midst of things. I barely caught this picture of Mali taking a swipe and diving into a wrestle with Katy.

Now, how am I suppose to get prepared?

Don't believe it when someone says that cats are aloof and off to themselves!

Please pray for my She Speaks prep. I really have more to do than I would like to admit!

Shaping -- Hope Chronicles 41

As you all probably know by now, I adore my talented cats. (For talent proof click here.) Teaching Mali (though today I did get Katy to do "UP" three times), has largely been tied to the idea of shaping and rewards or positive reinforcement.

Teaching Katy to beg for her treats was probably the most straight forward thing I've taught either one of them. I keep a can of hard treats on a shelf above the TV. I went and patted the door to get her attention. When she simply came over to where I was, I praised her and gave her a treat. But this wasn't the exact behavior I wanted. I wanted her to paw at the door and ultimately "meow" for her treat. I patted the door some more and she hopped on her hind legs to see what I was doing with my hand just out of reach. Treat.

We did this for several more days and she got the idea that if she pawed at the door, I would come over and give her a treat. (So maybe she ended up training me!) Finally, I decided to move onto the "meow." She did what I now considered her ask for a treat and I went to the TV but I didn't move to get the treats. She pawed some more. When no treat was forthcoming she let out a plaintive "meow." She got lots of praise and a couple treats!

It's called shaping because you start by rewarding an approximation of something. We do it with babies all the time. We want to see them crawl but we praise and encourage them if they make it on their knees or rock back and forth. We reward an approximation of something, the effort.

Honestly, I have been much more focused on training Mali than Katy. I taught Katy over a year ago to ask for a treat and then dropped the whole thing training aspect with anything else. Perhaps at that point it didn't dawn on me that I could train her to do other things. When I saw a book at the store and perused it, it mentioned starting when they are young. At 3 Katy is hardly old, but Mali is younger so I focused there.

I enjoy those little moments teaching Mali. Today, I thought, "Why not give Katy a chance?" It took a little coaxing and I had to use just the right food, but she got "up" for me.

So, how does this apply to hope and God? When I first taught either of them a trick, I had to be patient. I couldn't just say "ask" or "come" or "up" and have them know what I wanted. There was a learning process.

I'm fairly patient with them and children, but I lose patience so easily with myself. Why didn't I do it perfectly the first time? In my mind, an approximation of something doesn't count for me.

But when I really stop and think about it, all of life is an approximation. It is all learning. Carolyn Arends is my favorite Christian artist. She has a song called Getting Ready for Glory. It talks about how this life is all about getting ready for the next. It is, I believe, shaping and conforming us to Jesus likeness so that we are ready to meet God.

Here's a bit of the song:

She's had 80 some years,

Most of them good,

But she's not gonna be here much longer

Now the body gets weak

Like she knew it would

But the spirit just keeps getting stronger

She's got her Bible and hymn book beside her

She storing those songs and old stories up inside her

She's getting ready,

She's getting ready,

She's getting ready for glory.

She knows all of the verses

to How Great Thou Art

And her soul it doth magnify often

And she's gonna keep learning

the scriptures by heart

til the day she is laid in her coffin

She wants to be sure when the angels come take her

That's she's got some greetings for meeting her maker

There's more, but you get the idea. This life -- the joys and sorrows, the hardships and comforts, the triumphs and failures -- is all about shaping us and getting us ready for glory.

The idea of everything shaping me for God puts hope into every bit of what happens in my life.

Just for Fun -- Cat Tricks

You've heard me talk alot about Mali's antics and also her amazing ability to learn. (This is largely dependent on there being a food reward.) Finally, some evidence of her hula hoop abilities in still. Click here for a short video of all her tricks, but we are still trying to learn new things!

No, it isn't that I have too much time on my hands! I saw a book at the bookstore and paged through it. I thought I would try it. The hula hoop was my idea. Cats have short attention spans, so we've only worked on it a few minutes each day. I enjoy the interaction with her on this level.

Katy is just as smart -- maybe even smarter. She knows she gets treats without having to work for them. Though I did teach her to ask for them!

So for everyone who has said to me, "You can't teach a cat tricks," here is my proof:

I always thought of myself as more of a dog person. But time just hasn't permited all that a dog needs. So, I ended up with cats. I must admit that I am crazy about them. Part of it is that they seem to feel the same about me and follow me from room to room. They want to be part of things. I'm finding it difficult to type with Katy on keyboard! She definitely believes my lap is her territory!

Many blessings today!

Too Funny!

I don't intend to jinx anything, but I'm declaring that spring has arrived! In honor of that when I got home from work, I did the celebratory throw open the windows jig. Katy (my shy and timid one) was thrilled. But then she has been through this a time or two. She claimed the choice spot on the window sill where she can see and hear and smell all that spring has to offer.

In contrast, my fierce Mali took refuge on the stairs! It's been over an hour now and she has finally gotten on a box beneath the window and keeps popping her head up and down to check if it is safe. My guess is that it is the noise from the cars going by that has her spooked! Very funny since she tolerates the noise and antics of small children so well!

The Cat's Pajamas

As many of you will recall, I recently solved the case of the mysterious missing pj's. Things have continued to turn up missing. Last night, I found two pot holders under the bed. So, if it is not in a drawer, it is obviously fair came for Mali to run off with!

I've been telling people all about Mali's antics and the tricks she is learning. I told my friend Debbie about the missing pj's. She couldn't believe I disturbed Mali's nest. (In my defense it is the middle of April and tomorrow in central Illinois they are calling for snow showers! I need fleece. ) She suggested that I could have some of Lucas' flannel pj's that he has recently outgrown. Tonight after community group, I asked Lucas (3 years old) about it. Lucas is fascinated with Mali, so he was thrilled that his pj's were going to go to her.

Yes, my cat now has pajamas. Is she a pampered pet or what?

Mystery of the Missing PJ's

We are in the transition from winter to spring in central Illinois. However, last week, it was still - in my opinion - pretty cold. I also have this thing about comfort. I love my fleece pj's. (Getting to wear fleece is one of the few good things about winter.)



Last Tuesday night I went to put my snugly pj's on. It had been a hard day. I had a migraine and all that kind of stuff going on. I wanted -- I needed --my comfortable pj's. Much to my dismay, I could not find the pj bottoms. Typically, they reside with the top waiting for me on the bed. I had done a load of laundry, so I checked to see if they had gotten thrown in there. Nada. I looked all around and couldn't find them. I thought that maybe it was that I was tired and that I would find them on Wednesday



Wednesday -- no pj's. I still had the top but that wasn't working for me and my summer nightgown wasn't cutting it. I added an additional couple blankets and bemoaned that losing a pair of pj bottoms when you are the only one in the house is surely a sign of losing your mind as well.



Tonight, I dropped something on the floor. As I was picking it up, I noticed that a book had slid partially under the bed, so I knelt to retrieve it. Low and behold, I found a treasure trove of odds and ends -- most importantly pj bottoms -- that have turned up missing one by one over the last couple of weeks. Most of the items were cloth -- socks (that I had assumed the dryer had eaten), a sweat shirt that I had no clue where it had gotten to, 4 hand towels, and a scarf. They were all balled up in a neat little nest of sorts in the very center under the bed.



Mali is my scavenger. She is a stray at heart. I thought that it was mostly confined to food, but it appears otherwise. No, I'm not just picking on Mali. It's just I've had her growl at me over a dishcloth before. I had assumed that it was because it had just been used and smelled like food. Never assume anything. These items were all relatively clean (if you discount the cat fur). She apparently needed them for comfort.



Just like Katy, Mali typically shares my bed with me. (Actually, they get the lion's share.) But apparently Mali wanted a bit of space to herself . . . . So, if I start to complain about missing items, please remind me that I live with a scavenger and I should check under the bed and any other hidey hole a cat might use.



Case solved. Thankfully, I don't have to worry that I'm losing my mind!

Take a Child by the Hand

There is an old French proverb that goes, "Who takes a child by the hand takes a mother by the heart." I don't know it from a mother's vantage point, but I understand it as one who has invested in children.

Today in the county office I work in, I got to play it out. We don't see very many children in our office, but a mom came in with two little ones in tow. One looked to be about 4 and the other about 2 1/2. She wanted to drop off a Quit Claim Deed to be recorded. While it is not always the case, we see these a lot when there is a divorce in the works. One spouse "quit claims" solely to the other. (There are other reasons as well, but this can be the situation.)

I started examining the document and noted that a couple things were missing. I double checked with a coworker who actually knew the mom from a distance in high school. He came up to help as I was explaining another form that needed to be filled out . . . . And the kids ran in and out the door and down the hall and spun on the stool. Mom picked the little boy up to keep him corralled and tried to listen as I explained. But listening was difficult since he was now sitting on the counter and kicking his feet and trying to figure out an escape route.

Since my coworker had walked up, I decided to opt out of the explaining. I held out my arms to the little boy and said, "Want to come see me?" To mom's surprise, he did. So, I invited him and his sister back to my desk where I let them pick out cat pictures (used page-a-day calendar sheets -- great for scratch paper or impromptu gifts for awed children) and transformed a piece of paper into an origami swan. (Something I learned from my second grade teacher many moons ago!)

They were thrilled and mom thanked me twice. I feel like even in that small interaction, I took her children by the hand and took her by the heart. I gave her a moment's peace and possibly a sprinkling of hope. I'd like to think I did that.

I don't believe in past lives, but if I did, I think I must have been a preschool teacher at one time. In another life, I was probably a lion tamer since I am so in to teaching Mali tricks at the moment. Maybe the two go hand in hand -- taming preschool children?

Not Why but Who -- Hope Chronicles 28

Katy, my older cat, loves to sleep next to me. I lie on my side and hold the blanket up and she curls up next to my tummy as I let the blankets gently cover her. Often, I can't hear her purr, but as I rub her belly I can feel the vibrations, the contentment. It's a soothing ritual the two of us have developed.

As you have guessed, I like cats. I also like useless bits of trivia. Without using Google see if you know the following:

1. Only one type of cat lives in a group and it is _________.
2. The first state to ratify the constitution was _________.
3. The first female doctor was _____________.
4. Why do hummingbirds hum? (No, it isn't, he he, that they don't know the words)
5. The movement to get women the right to vote began in 1848. How many years did it take to achieve it?
6. How many stripes are on the American flag?
7. What Midwestern city adds coco to it's famous chili and what is the brand name?

Stop right now and write down the answers. No peeking as I've put them at the very bottom. I'll send a small gift card to whomever gets the most right first. (You can only play in the next 48 hours!) You are all on the honor system.

That was a long prelude to what this post is really about -- that "Why?" question. Even more than knowing useless bits of trivia, I like to understand the why of things. I like to know why it works and why you don't do it this other way. I like to know why things need to be this way rather than that way. I don't know that I actually pestered my parents so much with the questions. (I would have gotten immediate consequences if I had not had immediate obedience.) But, to the extent I was able, there was a quest for "Why?"

Even today, "why" still comes into play. Please don't tell me to do something without explaining the reason behind it. In my mind, comprehension is everything.

I don't think I'm that far off from a lot of people. I may do it more than most in day to day interactions, but when the really big things happen, we all find ourselves asking "Why?"

November 2006 I started dating Bill. After the first date, we pretty much saw each other every day. We hit a rough patch the end of March, but I anticipated getting back together. I didn't think it was a forever break. I thought we both needed to get our bearings. After all, we had been moving pretty fast over the last several months -- to the point that we had spoken of marriage. Bill had vowed, "I'd marry you tomorrow if you'd let me."

The middle of April Bill suffered an aortic aneurysm. His gentle heart split open. They managed to do surgery and he lingered a few days, but he never truly came around. I got to talk to him and pray with him in a one-sided kind of way, but we never had the final conversation that I longed for.

When it first happened I went to a grief support group for a time. Eventually, I needed it less and less. But tonight I went back. That year anniversary is coming quickly and I don't want to be caught off guard. Anniversaries can be tricky to navigate.

Lots of people in the room had much more recent losses than mine -- November, December, January. And several expressed "why" questions. "Why so quickly?" "Why with all the medical advances?" "Why wasn't I there at the very end? I only left for a moment."

It was interesting because everyone in the room tonight expressed some type of faith. That hasn't always been the case. I came away thinking that "why" questions have their merits, but the better question is "Who?"

• Who walked this earth and is intimately acquainted with our grief? (Isaiah 53:3)
• Who wept when His friend died? (John 11:35)
• Who comforts those who walk through the valley of the shadow of death? (Psalm 23)
• Who prepares a table before us in the presence of our enemies? (Psalm 23)
• Who has compassion on the heavy laden? (Matthew 11:28)
• Who rejoices over us with singing? (Zephaniah 3:17)

Knowing the "why" pales in comparison of knowing the WHO that is Jesus who has welcomed our loved ones home and stands with arms open wide to comfort us in our grief as we wrestle with the "why". Just as Katy snuggles in close to me, we can snuggle into Jesus.

And I was serious about that small gift card! Leave me those answers..... and then check to see if you are right!

Answers:

1. Lions 2. Delaware 3. Elizabeth Blackwell 4. It's the sound that their wings make from moving so fast. 5. 72 years with the first legal voting happening in 1920 6. 13 -- one for each of the original colonies 7. Cincinnati's Skyline Chili -- very yummy. Of course, I grew up on it . . . .

Two Sides of the Same Coin -- Hope Chronicles 25

Last night at the bookstore, I was talking to a coworker. I told him that on Saturday I had purchased a hula hoop and that I was teaching one of my cats, Mali, to jump through it. He remarked, "You can't teach a cat tricks." (For photographic proof see Mali doing "up".) I told him that I had, and that Mali had walked through the hoop numerous times and jumped through twice. His response: "Are you sure she just wasn't humoring you?" Maybe, but I'll take it.

Dogs are pack animals and probably do perform out of a desire to please as well as accompanying treats. The only cat that lives in a group is a lion. So, cats are fairly independent. It can be a trick to figure out their motivation and harness it. Our motives in things are often mixed. I think Mali enjoys the interaction as well as the treats....

My parents were always very concerned about appearances. As a result, they belonged to a local church not out of faith but because it looked good. We went on Christmas and Easter and a few other times during the year. But, we weren't what you would call regulars.


The church we went to confirmed kids when they got to the seventh grade. To be confirmed, you had to go to special classes for a year. My parents decided that my twin and I would have to go. (I'm thankful for that because it is one of the ways God drew me to Himself.) However, they didn't want to go with us. So, they took to dropping us off and picking us up and were genuinely surprised we liked it and even asked to go to youth group.

I was extremely shy and quiet. I didn't necessarily mix all that well with the other kids. However, I craved the interaction with the youth leaders. But even this was overshadowed by how quiet I was.


Every Sunday morning all the youth gathered to pray together before heading to Sunday school. About 40 of us stood in a circle and held hands and one or two people prayed. One Sunday Bob came up to me and said, "I'm going to have you pray for us." Fear over rode my normal respect for authority. I told him that I couldn't. He told me that I could. I told him that I couldn't. We went back and forth with this about four times before he turned and walked away.


Everyone circles up. Bob announces, "Amy is going to open us in prayer this morning." Silence. Absolute silence unless you count the sound of my heart. You see we only prayed twice a year at my house -- Thanksgiving and Christmas. And then it was always my dad who said the prayer. So, I had never prayed out loud. Bob announced for a second time that I was going to pray. I was mute and totally crimson. Another youth leader finally jumped in and opened the morning with prayer.


I tell that story not because Bob was a bad guy. Though, I do think his approach was a bit misguided. I tell it more because I took him totally off guard. I still catch people off guard. I bend, bend, bend, bend, SNAP -- they've run into a brick wall. They are always surprised when they suddenly meet resistance.

Some people would call it sheer stubbornness. There is probably some of that in there. But when you're on the same side of the brick wall as me, you're likely to see it as perseverance. Stubbornness and perseverance are, I believe, two sides of the same coin.

I've been thinking about it some the last couple of weeks. Without some perseverance, some stubbornness even, I don't know that I would have survived. There had to be some core of hope willing to hang on to every shred of light that sliced into my darkness.

At other times, I may be my own worst enemy. For example, in the youth group story. Bob pushed. While that wasn't the right thing, my reaction was to swing completely and totally the other direction and never look back. I didn't pray out loud in a group until my sophomore year in college. What sweet times of fellowship did I miss out on all those years?

Even now there is a situation I am trying to make heads or tails of. I guess the question that may shed the light on it is what is the posture of my heart? Is it a hope filled response (perseverance) or a fear filled one (stubbornness)? I'm not sure yet, but it is something to ponder.