Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Keeping It In Perspective

I went to a meeting last night with some people from the grief support group. Well, it wasn't actually a meeting. We went to dinner, but we ended up talking about the whole grief thing. I'll admit to getting a bit tripped up. At one point the conversation turned to "I don't know that I would have made it if I didn't have my kids" or some other intense family connection. There was a great emphasis on being anchored by those around them.
It was one of those conversations that had the potential to really trip me up in a big way. Because none of the things that they spoke of being so reliant on for getting them through the grief are things that I have: no kids and I'm fairly disconnected from my family of origin. So, every time someone whole heartedly agreed, a piece of me sunk a bit.
But, I am also in a different spot than most of them. I believe all of them were in the 6 months or less category of grieving. In that respect, at just over a year, I am the "old timer."
Still, it chipped away at me a bit. I found myself thinking and I have . . . cats. Not a helpful thought. So, I talked to God a bit last night. This is what he reminded me:
  • Jesus said that who ever does the will of His father is his mother, brother, and sister.
  • While I still long for that family connection in a concrete, skin on way, I do have a Father in heaven who is a defender of widows and a father to the fatherless.
  • I have a church family and they have skin on.
  • I have friends
  • I even have this bloggy community
Granted, none of is packaged quite the way I might like, but they are still gifts from God, still reasons (as the people above put it) to keep going. So, this morning is my thank you to God and my prayer that He would help me keep it all in perspective even if doesn't look quite like what I expected.
I do not want to shun what God has given. I choose to be thankful.


Heather@Mommymonk said...

I don't know what to say... For one, I've never experienced much grief myself. But, it seems to me that your friends could have been more sensitive to your life situation. My heart breaks for you being so alone sometimes and yet I see that you have a deep and powerful relationship with God.

Your willingness to mow your neighbors lawns is an example to me of how to have the right focus. Focusing on the needs of others and what God HAS given you. The world! Overwhelming love...the biggest family ever seen...more blessings than you can imagine!

Anonymous said...

Lord Jesus, Send 7 people into Amy's life TODAY to hug her. To let her know how precious she is to them and to you. You said you would send comfort LORD, I ask you to send it to Amy.