Dear Springfield or Whomever Might Be Reading

Dear Springfield (Illinois Government),

I read today -- again -- about the budget. Seems to me that you've known the deadline was approaching and everyone has taken their time to put us down to the wire again and have that added pressure. And it looks like it is far from being balanced.

There's a lot of talk about cutting things. Yes, households cut things in times of crisis, but they don't cut the necessary things. They cut the fat. At least if they are smart they do. I'm irritated by all the talk of cutting social service funding. Yes, let's take services away from those who need it the most. Really? Is that all you can come up with?

I'm horrified to read that you may cut payments to foster parents and then read that you are okay with putting the kids on cots in government offices. Please tell me that is ludicrous. Well, I already know it is. Tell me you wouldn't really consider it. My guess is it is a force the hand type of thing. I think of that as bullying.

And then there are things like the Crisis Nursery. So, where will parents in crisis take their babies? Will you force them into keeping them in dangerous situations?

We want parents to work. But then you think of cutting daycare for low income families?

Preventative programs will all have to go. What kind of sense does that make?

And services for those with mental illness will get huge slices cut out.

And lest we think you are only targeting children, then there are the elderly. Of course, you already are behind on paying a number of those things. The average citizen gets behind and the bill collectors call. Do they call you?

So, then you talk about raising the income tax. Hmm. And that would stimulate the economy how? There must be another way. Surely there are other things to cut besides social service. And I'm sorry, but if I can't make my budget work I don't get to walk into my boss and say, "I need more money to balance my budget." I may need it, but that would never fly. So, why should it fly for you?

Think both big and little. How much do you each make? Well over what the average citizen makes. Before you cut job, maybe you could try taking a pay cut. Before you order out a meal on the state, maybe you should pack your lunch. I think people would applaud to see you all brown bag it. Before you buy specially engraved pens with logos and such, look at generic Bic.

You expect us to do more with less. Can we expect the same of you?

Seriously, God Left Me a Note -- Hope Chronicles 54

One of the perks of working at Barnes and Noble is meeting lots of neat people. Since they have come into a bookstore, we often have a similar love for books. One of the drawbacks is that people you have known at previous times and previous life situations sometimes pop up. (The background you need here is that I've volunteered and worked in social service for numerous years.)

Needless to say, someone from a previous life situation showed up the other night. Sigh. They totally stared at me. At first I thought they were trying to place me and I decided to hide behind a stack of books I was reshelving. I knew I hadn't been their favorite person in the past. As recognition dawned, her face hardened even more.

Since I was working customer service, I decided it was as good a time as any to take my break. I called and got permission and hid in the break room. But the uneasiness lingered. It wasn't that I thought they would do anything or necessarily say anything, but I like being liked. I tried my best with the families I worked with, but social service is an occupation fraught with awkward and challenging situations.

Add to that it was late and we were busy and I was tired. I felt my self confidence level begin to drop. All too soon, I had to get back on the floor.

Recently, I went to She Speaks. It was an incredible time and did wonders for my confidence level on an interpersonal as well as a faith level. Lysa Terkeurst commented to me that I had blossomed over the Internet the last few months. Blossomed. What a nice word.

I started putting the table in front of customer service back to rights. My eyes fell on the words, "Amy Bloom Away." I did a double take. I read it again. It took reading it three times to realize the author's name was Amy Bloom and the title was Away.

I haven't a clue if this a good read or not, but it seemed to me that God left me a note. I had to chuckle for all the times I've thought, "Please God, just tuck a note under my pillow. It would help so much." While it was sweet to hear it from Lysa and in various other ways from other people, I found those three words utterly confirming and encouraging.

As I've worked on these Hope Chronicles, I've discovered that God speaks in everyday things more frequently than I have ever imagined. I suppose the question all these years is if I've been tuned to the right frequency.

I found great hope in having God write that note to me. Though the author and publisher may think differently, I have no doubt that God knew one night I would need the reminder.

In what way has God spoken to you lately? If you want you can leave a comment or click on Mr. Linky and post about it on your blog. Either way, I'd love to hear!

When God says, "No Take-Backs" -- Hope Chronicles 42

Sorry gals! I just realized after visiting Leila's site that I missed 8 and read 9. But I like this post anyway. I'll try to post on 8 soon!

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Perhaps it is my imagination, but I think I hear God calling in delight, "No take backs!" The thought both makes me smile and tremble a bit. What is it that I am signing up for?

After a cold, wet, gray, dreary Sunday, the clear skies and warm weather were extremely welcome on Monday. For the past 6 months, I've only take a half hour lunch by choice. My schedule is shifting some and I'll now be taking a normal hour for lunch. Knowing I would have the whole hour, raised the question for me on Monday as to what to do with that time. I can easily eat in 15 minutes and have typically read during the other 15 minutes. Math has never been my strong suit but even I can figure that left 30 minutes.

I've lost 17lbs since the first of the year and plateaued there. With the turn in the weather, I decided that extra 30 minutes would be ideal for walking. So, I ate my sandwich and apple while I did 3 laps of an 8 block downtown perimeter in those 30 minutes. (How many city blocks in a mile?)


Since I had already eaten, I considered another lap but opted for a spot on a bench in sun instead. I needed to prepare for Yes to God Tuesdays at Lelia's. We are on the final chapter of Lysa's book, What Happens When Women Say Yes to God.

It was a challenging chapter and a call to decision. I read it and closed the book and said, "Okay, God here we go. I don't know what will happen, but 'Yes.'"

Perhaps, God was afraid I would take it back but I am not at all use to immediate-response-answers to my prayers. I still had 15 minutes and I pulled out my phone to make a quick call., but before I could dial I heard "Do you have any change for a homeless vet?"

Generally, I do not respond well to these requests. Chalk it up to a number of years in social service and dealing with some who just don't seem to want to work. Oh, there were always a myriad of reasons but I often found gaps. They couldn't afford the bus token to get to parenting classes necessary for getting their kids back but I found myself behind them in line at the grocery store while they were buying a six pack. I don't want to be unfair. There are people who are just down on their luck. But after a bit, social service can make you tend towards cynicism.

Generally, my response is to avoid eye contact and hurry on. On Monday, both those rules got broken. I met his eyes immediately and he held my gaze. It was as if God changed the words "Do you have any change?" to "Are you serious about change?"

Surprisingly, I dug into my purse to find I had $8.00 with me. My gut reaction was to hand him $3.00 and keep the $5.00 bill. And God whispered, "Now, reverse the math." So my I-so-hate-being-conned-self handed him the five. It all took all of 60 seconds. He was rushing on, "I can show you ID so you know I'm a vet." I wanted to say, "Not necessary. Jesus gave the ID for you."

It would have been great if I had said that but I wasn't that bold. However, I did something else unprecedented for me in these situations. I gathered my coat and book in my lap and made room on the bench. "You can sit down if you would like."

For ten minutes, I lent him an ear. He told me that it's cold at night and it's horrible when it rains. He said that he hates asking for money and that he can't find a job. He said he gets lonely and there is no one to talk to. He read the title of the book, What Happens When Women Say Yes To God, and asked, "Do you believe that God stuff?"

My lunch was over, but I could say, "Yes, I really do."

Did I get conned? Perhaps. Maybe I'll never know for sure. But, it was worth $5.00 to hear God delightedly exclaiming, "No take-backs. I think we shall begin now." And so we begin the next leg of the journey with some change over lunch.