Sometimes You Want to Go Where Everybody Knows Your Name -- Hope Chronicles 89

This week I've helped out some with my church's VBS -- entitled Kamp KidStuf. It's an offshoot of something we do every week during the school year. My role has been to take pictures. A couple nights ago, during a lull, I wandered outside. A father was saying that his 4-year-old (not from our church) wasn't sure he wanted to come. His explanation: "No one will say 'Jack'!"

Happily, he was wrong. The observant teacher read his nametag right away and called him by name. His fear of joining in was that no one would know him.

Honestly, that is one of my biggest fears too. It is the thing that makes me most timid.

The conversation reminded me of a show that aired when I was in highschool -- Cheers. It was set in a Boston bar called Cheers. The theme song went like this (be glad you cannot hear me sing):

Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name
And they're always glad you came
You want to go where people know
People are all the same
Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name

Isn't that the truth? There is something so refreshing, so meaningful about being called by your name. It reminds me of last year when I went to She Speaks 2008. No sooner than I had stepped out of the car then Lysa Terkeurst yelled at me from behind, "Amy!"

Later that night I was working on my talk in the hotel lobby. Lisa Whittle scared me from behind. We had never met, but she recognized me from my blog and greeted me warmly.

The next day I was at dinner with people I had never met. Most of us blogged and we were sharing our site names. I said, "My blog is God's Work In Progress. . . ." Sharon, across the table, let out a shriek. "You're Amy L Brooke. You're AMY L BROOKE!" For a moment, I thought she was mocking me for some reason I couldn't fathom. It turns out that she had read my little corner of blogdom and was that excited to meet me.

Do those things happen every day? No. They don't even happen on a semi annual basis. But God blessed me that weekend by giving me that sense of "everybody knowing my name." More importantly, it was great reminder of the fact that God knows my name.

God knows my name. The God of the universe who fashioned billions of people knows me intimately. He calls me his child. He never fumbles around as we sometimes do, "Andrea, Amanda, who ever you are!" I am never out of his mind, never out of his sight, never out of the reach of His hand. That is a wondrous hope when I start to feel like one of many or even like no one in particular. God knows my name.

Remembering those events from She Speaks 2008, makes me want to be even more adapt at remembering the names of those around me and if I don't know them, sincerely greeting them like Sharon greeted me -- excited for the opportunity. Imagine the hope that might pass on.

The Sanctuary of the Word

I do not remember a time before words. Perhaps no one does. It is words that help us construct our reality. Why else would Eskimos have 32 words for snow when I can only think of 4 related terms: snow, flurries, blizzard, freezing rain. (All of which, by the way, make my blood turn cold just typing them. I'm a hotter-the-better kind of gal and will use my down comforter into May.) Words tell us what is important. Words help us make meaning.

Words (written, not spoken) and stories were my solace growing up. My family was on the extreme end of the dysfunctional continuum. I learned to be seen and not heard. It was infinitely safer that way -- physically, emotionally. But the words poured out of me on every scrap of paper. At night, when things were scariest, I put myself to sleep by making up stories.

At 10 I got my favorite Christmas present -- a little blue typewriter. Christmas day I pecked out my version of the Christmas story on it. Then my sister and I began to write and write and write. The stories were always the same at heart: children who banded together to form families when their own were dangerous or torn away, children who overcame odds, children who ultimately found safety.

In high school we got a computer with the REAL floppy disks. Together my sister and I constructed our own world. She would write a section. I would respond by writing a section. We wrote three single spaced works each totaling about 300 printed pages. We couldn't talk about all that was going on in "real time." We could "talk" about it in these strange narratives.

So, words have always been part of my life. They have been a sanctuary of sorts -- a place to find safety. As I've gone along, I've continued to write. And then to speak. And over the last two years to blog. As I've opened myself up, things have blossomed and I've discovered that my writing is not just for me but that it is also a sanctuary for others.

And I am reminded of the power of the Word: to create, to heal, to give life.

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. (John 1:1-3)

What I've learned about the Word from P31 has refreshed my soul and healed me in deep places. As I've continued to relate to them through reading blogs and such, they have even influenced me to start to run. (The operative word is start.) She Speaks, P31, is a place of safety where God can whisper your name and that you are deeply loved. Yes, the information is wonderful and helpful, but it is so much more than that.

I have gone to She Speaks twice now: once as a writer and once as a speaker. I feel somewhat selfish posting for a scholarship. (Click here for Scholarship contest info).I had planned on funding my way and worked the last year to try to do that. A car repair, miscellaneous mishaps, and finally an unrepairable broken refrigerator have put funding it all myself out of reach. I am living without a cushion.

I had hoped to go and go early. I talked to LeAnn Rice about coming in early and helping out. She warned me that none of it would be glamorous work -- more moving things, fixing tables, unpacking books -- scutt work. But I didn't care about that. I wanted to give something back since I've gotten so much my attending.

If you can go to She Speaks -- go. Don't hesitate. There is an abundance of blessings awaiting you there. If I go or not, I will be praying. If you read this and are going, please leave a prayer request below. I will print it out and pray for you as you prepare to go or, if you are a P31 person, as you serve.

If you just want to know about my experience at She Speaks there are three posts you can click on: one (She Speaks, God Delights), two (I Hope You Dance), and three (The Whimsical Side of She Speaks).

She Speaks

I've made the very hard decision not to go to She Speaks this year. I was already registered and everything. The issue is financial. I've already been feeling financial stress and yesterday woke to a broken fridge. That needs to be replaced.

I am grieving not going. The content is great and I've learned things the last two times I've gone, I am more disappointed about not seeing the friends I've made. I do so wish I lived closer to people. I was even planning on going a day or two early and helping. LeAnn had told me it would all be grunt work (setting up tables and such) but I loved the idea of going and giving something back to P31.

I'm sure God has other things in store for me this summer, but I am disappointed.

However, I will keep the She Speaks counter going as a reminder for me to pray.

40 to 40 (Gratitude 39)

I am thankful for Proverbs 31. I know that I've already named off a couple people and She Speaks, but they all need to go into a gratitude. Since I went to She Speaks a couple of years ago, got involved in the blogging community, and went again to She Speaks year, I have gotten to know some wonderful people.

This past summer She Speaks 2008 was a true highlight for me. I was astounded that the minute I walked in I felt like I was stepping into family. Some of that was due to other bloggers I had met online like Lelia, Nicki, Lisa, and the list could go on and on. It was so great to see them in person.

But it was also wonderful to meet the staff. I've gotten to know a few of them over the past year and then again at the conference. I'm thankful Glynnis being willing to publish a couple of my things in the P31 magazine. I'm thankful for LeAnn and all she did to put the conference together. I'm thankful for people like Wendy and Samantha who did and do so many behind the scenes type things. I'm thankful for the whole lot of them.
Even after this conference they have continued to love on me. I was doing really well at the conference and rode pretty high a couple weeks after. Then due to insurance coverage I needed to change a couple things with my medication. Med changes for depression are really hard.

I called and talked to Melissa some and Terri a bit. They were encouraging that they were all praying.

One day a package showed up. It was a beautiful picture with hands reaching down and some reaching up. It said, "From Jesus." And it was filled with scripture and my name had been inserted in Isaiah 43:1.

But now, this is what the LORD says— he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed Amy; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

I suspected it was from Melissa as she and I had been keeping the most contact. I recently found out that it had been LeAnn's idea and that it truly was a gift from the whole office. I was touched that they would all want to send it.

I've placed it on my desk at work so that whenever I'm frazzled, I can look over and be reminded of God's love and care for me.

I am thankful for the entire P31 team and all they do.

40 to 40 (Gratitude 32)

I am grateful for the amazing conference that Proverbs 31 puts on called She Speaks. It is for writers, speakers, women in ministry, teens, and I think they are even beefing up on this blog phenomenon. I went in 2006 and had a good time, but it was a difficult time in my life. I went again in 2008. I had an absolutely phenomenal time. From the moment I set foot in the hotel parking lot I felt like I stepped into family.

To read about my experience at She Speaks 2008 click here for the first, here for the second, and here for the third. There was just too much to put into one post. If you are a woman, a writer, a teen, a speaker, a blogger . . . . check it out.

I was greatly encouraged by the people I met there -- those at P31 and blog friends.

Holly Good, me, Lysa Terkeurst

The Package

This brightly wrapped package has been sitting on the edge of my coffee table since mid June. I'm not sure why I've left it there. I really should put it away somewhere because it has been a constant reminder of the friendship that almost was.

I met someone in kind of an odd way early this summer. For some reason, I had voiced the feelings of loneliness that sometimes plague me. Her response was that she would be my friend and after she got some exams out of the way within the next month we could hang out. I was thrilled. She genuinely seemed to like talking to me and called me a few times.

One day another friend and I were going to see Prince Caspian. When I told this woman this, she voiced how she wished she could go and how she wished that she had read all of the Narnia books straight through. She really couldn't go to the movie but later that week I spied a thick volume of all of the Narnia books in one. I picked up one for her and one for me. It was suppose to be a 'just because" kind of gift.

I invited her to come by. She had several things going on. I told her that I had something for her and it wouldn't take long to pick it up. She never came by and I was never able to reach her again.

So, that package has sat on my table while I keep hoping she will call. But now it is more of a reminder of a friendship lost than anything. I think it is time to put it away or find someone else to give it to. It has been 4 1/2 months.

The last several days it has gotten me thinking of all the packages that go unopened in our lives. Yes, maybe one is a friendship. Another might be some talent we've longed to develop but haven't taken the time for. It could be a book or THE BOOK that remains unopened on our night stand.

All things keep us from opening them. Time. Fear of rejection. Fear that things won't go the way we hoped.

But each time we leave a package unopened we close ourselves off to the joy that might be packed away in there. And maybe even miss the joy of being able to bless others with whatever the package might contain.

I have this thought of God sitting on His throne in a package strewn room. Some of us are there, too shy to take the one He offers or too fearful it may not be what we wanted. But then we need to trust that God knows best.

What package will you open today?

For me, I need to concentrate on my book proposal -- who else to send it to and just keep writing it. Yes, it is a long shot, but I think I took the chance at She Speaks and then packed it away. Now, it's time to reopen it and start working on it all again.

Following Up And Is She Runs on the Horizon?

So, this is my official follow-up to my post about my interaction with my ex-roommate last Friday. If you don't have the foggiest what I am talking about, just click here. I just called her at work because that's the only way I knew for sure she would answer. I asked her if she could have dinner tonight. (I know last minute.) She said she couldn't but next week would work. We settled on Wed. but need to firm up the plans later.

So, will all of you pray? Seriously, I felt incredibly awkward just in asking. And now I feel tearful. I know it is because it ended so poorly. Yes, it is a slow obedience on my part. I probably should have listened to God last week, but I didn't. All the nerves might be over with if I had! If you will pray, please leave your name. It would be a great encouragement to me. I'd love to have 10 people praying for whatever God might do?



PS. As Joy noted on my last post, I went from cookies to pie. I looked back and it was worse. I went from pie to cookies to pie in 3 consecutive posts. Can you tell what is on my mind while people like Lysa, Renee, Melissa, and Holly are all exercising? Heaven help me, they are bold enough to post exercise pictures and commit to things like half marathons. Oh, my, you don't suppose they'll add a track to She Speaks and call it She Runs? But I suppose after worship Sat. night Lysa could lead everyone in aerobics . . . .

I suppose the only "good" part is that I only had pie on the first occasion (note that I ordered a half slice). When I made Mark's pie last night, I only ate the 5 sugar, cinnamon coated slices that I just couldn't make fit in the pie crust. Really. I dropped the pie off this afternoon without cutting a slice out to test it. (Oh, dear. I do hope it is edible! Wink.)

She Speaks Widget

I haven't figured out if I can go again or not to She Speaks, but I am thinking positively. So, I now have a countdown widget to the 2009 conference. You can click "Get Widget" under the widget or click here to go to where you get it. Now I just need to estimate the cost based on this last year, divide, and SAVE.

You can also make your own widget there and upload a picture and such. I'm just not that creative so I used the sticky note option Spring Widgets provided.

LeAnn might not want it. I think having it count down on her site might stress her out. But I do appreciate all the hard work all the gals at She Speaks 2008 put in!

Seriously, God Left Me a Note -- Hope Chronicles 54

One of the perks of working at Barnes and Noble is meeting lots of neat people. Since they have come into a bookstore, we often have a similar love for books. One of the drawbacks is that people you have known at previous times and previous life situations sometimes pop up. (The background you need here is that I've volunteered and worked in social service for numerous years.)

Needless to say, someone from a previous life situation showed up the other night. Sigh. They totally stared at me. At first I thought they were trying to place me and I decided to hide behind a stack of books I was reshelving. I knew I hadn't been their favorite person in the past. As recognition dawned, her face hardened even more.

Since I was working customer service, I decided it was as good a time as any to take my break. I called and got permission and hid in the break room. But the uneasiness lingered. It wasn't that I thought they would do anything or necessarily say anything, but I like being liked. I tried my best with the families I worked with, but social service is an occupation fraught with awkward and challenging situations.

Add to that it was late and we were busy and I was tired. I felt my self confidence level begin to drop. All too soon, I had to get back on the floor.

Recently, I went to She Speaks. It was an incredible time and did wonders for my confidence level on an interpersonal as well as a faith level. Lysa Terkeurst commented to me that I had blossomed over the Internet the last few months. Blossomed. What a nice word.

I started putting the table in front of customer service back to rights. My eyes fell on the words, "Amy Bloom Away." I did a double take. I read it again. It took reading it three times to realize the author's name was Amy Bloom and the title was Away.

I haven't a clue if this a good read or not, but it seemed to me that God left me a note. I had to chuckle for all the times I've thought, "Please God, just tuck a note under my pillow. It would help so much." While it was sweet to hear it from Lysa and in various other ways from other people, I found those three words utterly confirming and encouraging.

As I've worked on these Hope Chronicles, I've discovered that God speaks in everyday things more frequently than I have ever imagined. I suppose the question all these years is if I've been tuned to the right frequency.

I found great hope in having God write that note to me. Though the author and publisher may think differently, I have no doubt that God knew one night I would need the reminder.

In what way has God spoken to you lately? If you want you can leave a comment or click on Mr. Linky and post about it on your blog. Either way, I'd love to hear!

Mountaintops in Perspecitve -- Hope Chronicles 51

The last few weeks, my She Speaks prep has consumed my time and energy. As I write that, I am struck by the thought, "When have you let God consume so much of your time and energy?" Hopefully, it was for God's glory, but so much time an energy went into the book proposal and the talks and the packing and the fretting over being liked or not liked while I was there, . . . . Now, I am post She Speaks by four days.

In my InterVarsity Christian Fellowship days, I often found there to be an immediate slump after big events. I would be tired and grouchy and irritable. While I admit, I'm starting to have a bit of a slump (I'm a bit on the touchy side today), there was none of the immediate, overwhelming deflation that I have previously encountered. I'm not sure why that is and it isn't that God didn't meet me in those earlier events. I believe He did.

But I experienced something profound this past weekend -- God utterly delighting over me. I know He probably always has, but still it was so sweet . . . . Part of me didn't want the conference to end. I half thought moving to NC might not be so bad or maybe I could join some of my bloggy friends in their neck of the woods. But then I would miss my friends and church here.

She Speaks was a mountaintop experience. But I have learned that most of us do not live on "mountaintops." While those times are refreshing and wonderful, most of us are called to live out our walk in the daily things of life: mowing the grass, interacting with coworkers, doing the laundry, making dinner, running errands, . . . . These things may make us say, "Can't the mountaintop experience go on forever?"

Scripture tells us that Moses met with God as a man meets with a friend. Yet, even Moses had to come down from the mountaintop and he was greeted with God's Chosen People dancing around an idol and grumbling about how much better life back in Egypt was. (They were a thankless lot!)

And then there is Elijah. 1 Kings 18 and 19 Elijah sees God work in mighty ways. But he freaks when the king's wife takes a bounty out on his head. (Okay, I might have been worried too.) He flees and God eventually leads Him to a cave on a mountain. He actually whines (in my opinion) to God. My version: "I've done all this for you and they've killed all these people and I am the only one left. Did you hear me? Now they are going to kill me!"

God does not get into a test of wills with Elijah. Rather, God tells him to "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by." There is a great wind that shattered rocks, an earthquake, and a fire. But God is not in any of these. But then there is a gentle whisper and Elijah stands at the mouth of the cave and God gives him a glimpse of Himself.

And God asks again, "Elijah, what are you doing here?"

Elijah repeats the litany.

God responds, "Go back the way you came." (Get back to day to day life). He goes on to promise that he is sending Elijah a partner and that Elijah is not alone -- there are 7,000 who still worship God.

So, post She Speaks means getting back to day to day life.

But it also means remembering all that God did there. Just as God reminded Elijah of the 7,000, I am praying He will continue to remind me of all that I learned and experienced and the fellowship I experienced. I've been making a list. It's now 5 journal pages with bullets to help remind me when things get tough.

Like Moses and Elijah, most of us are not meant to live on mountaintops. But we are called to remember them. And through remembering them we can be strengthened in the day to day life and even in the valleys. It is in remembering that we often find that glorious thing called hope.

If you went to She Speaks or even if you didn't, what is one strengthening memory you have? Please leave it here in the comment section or a link to the story on your site. I look forward to hearing how God uses the mountaintops to prepare you for day to day life.

Sign Post

Sometimes I am really struck by someone's post. Early this morning or last night (my life is a blur at the moment) I read this post at Lysa's. I know many of you read Lysa's blog already. But if you haven't read this post on prayer and some behind the things at She Speaks, click here and read away.

I've done this "Sign post" thing once or twice before. I may have to do it more. There are some amazing things going on out there and I would hate for you to miss them.

The Whimsical Side of She Speaks

Pam and I traveled together. It was so nice to have someone to travel with!

I learned lots at She Speaks. The top serious things I learned were:

• God SEES me.




• God sets the lonley in "families" and these gals really felt like family




• God has given you a unique story that only you can share.

There, that is the reader's digest version.

But then there were other funny things I learned. Some I should have known.

• Just because there are automatic toilets in the conference center as well as automatic towel dispensers DOES NOT mean that the water is automatic. You can rub your hand under the faucet as long as you want and as often as you want, but if you do not turn the handles it will not work. You will look foolish if you stand there too long. But the conference mantra was "Grace, Grace, Grace" so even if you look foolish you will still be loved.



• Southern rule of cooking: If something tastes good, it will taste even better fried. Hences the oblong thing on my plate during lunch at the airport. I had a barbecue turkey sandwich, potatoes, and a FRIED pickle. It was actually tasty. It had a bit of a kick to it.

• There is a 3oz rule for carry on stuff. My toothpaste was too big. Once the lady said that, we figured we just needed to check the bags 'cause I definitely hadn't packed right. So next year, She Speaks should send out a post on travel stuff -- airline rules. :-)




• I never turn my phone off. Thankfully, someone traveling with me knew how to get it powered down and powered up!



• If you opt to eat at a Sonic restaurant you eat outside in your car. It is only drive up. However, I do recommend their shakes.



• I still talk in my sleep. (Grace, grace, grace from the roommates.) Happily, God must have been giving me good dreams. I was heard to exclaim (among other things), "That was just beautiful."



• I can time myself but I cannot be timed by others. Seriously. I freaked when given the time signals. My 3 minute talk came out 2:19 because the 1 minute left signal flustered me. My 5 minute talk was 4:09 minutes. Happily, they both got good ratings. I guess I learned to wrap up quickly!



• If you thank hotel staff, they get somewhat embarrassed.



• Bloggers are some of the funniest people you will ever meet. Lelia is even more of a stitch in person than she is on her blog. Michelle has a sweet presence about her. Nikki is beautiful, sweet, and charming. I would love to get together to lunch with her. But NC is a bit far . . . .



• The P31 Team Rocks! They are just a great, fun group of women who loved on us all. I hope they felt loved back! This is a picture of Leah, Wendy, and Melissa. Like the rest of the team, they worked tirelessly. I am thankful for them.
  
  
  
  
  
  I think I've got most of my She Speaks stuff out there, but I can't promise. I have a notebook with 3 pages full of neat things that happened at the conference! So, they might get worked in here or there.

I Hope You Dance -- Hope Chronicles 50

I've never been much of a dancer. But the theme song for me at She Speaks was Lee Ann Womak's I Hope You Dance. The applicable words will be in centered in color. Consider them the background music to this post!

I hope you always keep your sense of wonder
May you get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger

Here's my confession: I've never been much of a makeup person. Seriously, at 13 my mother was more interested in me wearing make up than I was. I've had occasional spurts where I've worn it, but I've never understood mascara. Maybe it's that I have dark hair and my lashes are naturally dark. (Which is convenient because I might look odd if they were red or blond or something. Things just wouldn't match!)

May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love never leave you empty handed

But the weekend before She Speaks I talked to someone about makeup and all that. The talk included mascara. Since she gave me little sample things of it, I decided to try it out. That Sunday I wore it to church along with some purple eye shadow. A dear friend asked me what had happened to my eye. The poor guy thought I had endured some injury. So, I was a bit wary.

When I dressed for my Friday appointments, I used the purple eye shadow and mascara again. I was careful to check with my roommates that it looked okay . . . .

My first appointment went okay. They told me to email my proposal. Smile. Big smiles. Big wash of confidence leading into my second appointment.

Let's just say, that one didn't go as well. At first I thought it was going fine. But maybe I got too chatty because in the end they didn't want to take it and didn't want it emailed.

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens

I managed to keep it together on the way out the door. But then I got teary. However, the thought of actually crying and making the mascara run helped me keep it together. I most definitely did not want to look like a raccoon when I finally met all my bloggy friends in person in just an hour or so.

So, the moral of the story is that if you are feeling weepy wear mascara to help keep the tears under control....

While that is the end of the mascara bit, it is not the end of the story. I had arrived the night before and Melissa Taylor had told me I could have a third appointment if I wanted it because some people had canceled. She thought I should grab another one. I had flown all the way there, so I wasn't about to let that opportunity slip by. That one was scheduled for Saturday.

Promise me that you’ll give faith a fighting chance
When you get the chance to sit it out or dance
I hope dance. I hope you dance. I hope you dance.

So, here I am on Friday not wanting my mascara to run and I got to the blogger reception. Yes, that was pure fun! I mentioned to Lysa that my second appointment had not gone well but that I was keeping it "in perspective." Her response was that she thought such and such publisher still had openings and I needed to go check.

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance.

Since I'm very obedient, I marched back up the stairs -- blinking hard because of the nerves and fears and trying to keep the tears back. I had to wait to talk to the gal in charge up there. She kept saying, "I'll be right with you." But keeping publishers and chatty women on schedule was a bit dizzying. I chatted a bit with Glynnis and then actually the nerves got the best of me. I left.

Living might mean taking chances but they’re worth taking
Loving might be a mistake but it’s worth taking
Don’t let some hell bent heart leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out reconsider

I walked back down to the reception, but I ran into someone else from P31. They told me I should go back. So, I trotted back up the stairs. I finally got to talk to the gal in charge. We scheduled an appointment for Saturday at 6:15 PM. I was walking back down the stairs when she called after me. "Amy, she wants to meet with you NOW." Apparently, her appointment hadn't shown and there were 8 minutes left in the slot. There's not much you can say about your 53 page baby in 8 minutes, but I must have said something right. I was told to email it to her!

Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance

I felt much more coherent on Saturday. I talked really fast because even 15 minutes wasn't feeling like enough. But, I was told to email it!

And then Sunday rolled around. I was meandering through the breakfast area when I was stopped by publisher number 2. She had changed her mind and had thought about it since Thursday. Would I email it to her?

When you get the chance to sit it out or dance

I hope dance. I hope you dance. I hope you dance.

Can you hear the music? It's my prayer for you as well.

She Speaks, God Delights

I had to be at the airport at 8:30AM on Thursday for a 10:15 flight to O'Hare and then our jaunt to Charlotte. One of the gals with me had rented a car and we made our way to the hotel.

I kid you not. My feet had barely touched the asphalt parking lot when I was warmly greeted, by Lysa Terkeurst and Holly Good from P31, "Amy, I'm so glad your here!" I had been a couple years ago and been on Lysa's site and she had left sweet encouragement on mine. It was such a treat to be greeted so warmly right from the get go. Pam, Karrie, Rachel and I flew in a day early, so it was nice to be greeted even before things started officially.

Holly, me, and Lysa

Their sweet greeting was just the beginning. I finally met Melissa Taylor in person. She is simply beautiful inside and out. Lisa Whittle startled me with her greeting as I was sitting at a table putting my talks together in the lobby. She is another beautiful person -- real and caring. And then I ran into Renee. She greeted me, invited me to lunch, encouraged me, and moved me to tears with her talk Saturday night.

Me with Melissa Taylor

Renee and Me

And then there are all the bloggers I met. I shall tell you more about them as the time goes on. If I write everything this minute, my computer will overload. Let's just say there were 560 dreams that were lifted up to God There were 560 beautiful women. There were 560 women who are dearly loved by God.

Friday night I sat at a table with 7 other women. A woman across from me asked about my blog. I said that it was called, "God's Work In Progress," but that the address was http://www.amylbrooke.blogpsot.com/ The woman to my right, exclaimed, "AMY L BROOKE! I'm having dinner with AMY L BROOKE!" At first I thought she was teasing me, but it turns out she has read my little corner of blogland and was genuinely pleased to meet me. I can say, no one has ever greeted me quite like that.


Very often I feel insignificant, unnoticed, overlooked. But it felt like this weekend that God was saying, "You are significant. You are noticed. You are never out of my sight. My beloved, Amy, I SEE you." It came in the form of the arms of these wonderful ladies at P31 as well as the attendees.


I often panic in a crowd when I am by myself. Saturday night I sat with some bloggy friends. Renee brought a profound message. I laid my doubts and fears at the foot of the cross. Melissa was there to hug me, and I cried on her shoulder and got snot on the sweater she had borrowed from Melaine (sorry, Melanie), and then made my way back to the table and sat and listened to the music and God. One by one the people at my table left for the evening and still I sat. The worship leader came back out to sing just a couple more songs.

I found myself standing at that empty table. The new thing for me was that I was completely okay with that. I was standing in the throne room of God. He kept repeating, "I see you. I love you." I wanted those moments to go on and on.


The room was finally almost empty. They flipped the harsh lights back on. I stopped to talk to Lysa for a moment. She went to hug me and I warned her, "If you hug me I'll probably start leaking again," so we opted for a brief hug. I said, "I'll try to say this without crying. Two years ago when I came, I felt loved on. Things with my family are always difficult. This year when I came it was more than feeling loved on. It has been like stepping into a family. I have never felt so delighted in."

Lysa said what others would reiterate throughout the conference. "When you came two years ago my heart broke for you because you were so lonely and I knew there was nothing I could do . . . . But I've watched you blossom the last year over the blog. God has changed you."

God has patiently and faithfully worked in my life the last couple years. She Speaks confirmed that change to me. And it gave me a glimpse of heaven, where we will all delightedly say, "It's you! I've been so wanting to meet you!"


Yes, there is more to share: meetings with publishers, the talks I gave, eating fried pickles because "everything is better if it is fried," the difference between southern and northern humor, and lots of fun anecdotes. But the biggest thing I want to give praise to is knowing in a new way that God delights in me and that He sets the lonely in "families." I caught hold of those two things in a new and profound way.

2 Words to Change Lives

One of the most positive things about working at the Barnes and Noble has been the people. I do not know if it is B&N culture wide, but in my store, there is a consistent demonstration of appreciation. "Thank you for getting up to cash-wrap so quickly." "Thank you for jumping in and helping Peggy with that cart." "Thank you for coming in when you weren't scheduled . . . ."

I have never been thanked so often for doing my job! It's what they pay me for. But thank you has a way of changing our perspective and in turn our lives.

I've generally been polite and said "Thank you." But now I notice myself doing it more and more -- particularly with people who may not get thanked. The other day I was at Meijer. One of the cashiers had been very helpful on something. I stood in line at customer service to tell the manager. In some ways it wasn't a big deal, but the manager noticed that I stood in line to tell him. He said, "Usually, the only time people come here is to complain."

On Monday I called Barnes and Noble's main office. I told them I just wanted to let them know how much I appreciated the "Thank you's" from all the managers and what a good working experience it has been because of it. They said they would pass it on to the regional person. Last night I ran in to grab a card and Mary (general manager) expressed her appreciation that I had called someone and told them that. Like the person above, she said they usually only hear something if it is negative. I told her that I could have just let her know, but I wanted someone bigger to know what a great job they were doing.

Many of us will be traveling the today or tomorrow and home again on Sunday for She Speaks. Travel stresses me and I get impatient. But I am going to remember how much thank you has meant to me and look for people to appreciate. I think it might change my whole travel experience!

Will you join me in the quest for showing appreciation even if someone is just doing their job?

Hope's Choice

Here she is, the object of all my work the last few weeks. I use to write papers for classes and such without much thought. I wrote a thesis. Once, I helped write 4 chapters in a book. But, as a friend who writes said when I mentioned the struggle I was having, "You're a bit out of practice!" Yes, I blog consistently, but blogging and chapter writing are two different things.

The proposed title is Hope's Choice. I'm proposing 12 chapters totaling 40,000 words broken down in to 4 content sections. With the proposal, you have to write 3 sample chapters. I did the following chapters: Hope Deferred -- When Life Doesn't Measure Up; Fixing Our Eyes on Hope; and Hope Transforms Relationship with God.

With all the work and steam coming out of my keyboards, it seems that she should be a bit bulkier. But then, there are only 3 chapters out of 12. She is only a quarter of what she will be!

I went to church and came home immersed myself in the Fixing Our Eyes chapter. But, I got stuck, so I retreated to my bed and set the alarm for an hour. I laid there praying, thinking, dozing. Suddenly it got really dark and windy. As I sprinted to my computer the rain had started and my computer was doing an abnormal shut down. I couldn't remember if I had saved all that I wanted. PANIC!

I had visions of a story my friend Jill tells. She was working on her last book. The computer crashed. It had already been a trying day. Mark came home to find Jill eating the chocolate frosting out of the can. She was in need of some comfort food.

I had saved. But it did prompt me to also save each piece to a flash drive.

The conference is called She Speaks but it should be She ____________ and fill in the blank.

I would list the following:

• She jots notes on odds and ends
• She writes, deletes, writes, deletes
• She spends all day writing, forgetting the laundry, the dishes, the cats
• No, wait. She can't forget the cats as they are on top of the desk trying to get her attention
• She prays
• She edits
• She obsesses
• She worries
• She HOPES

Still much to do in the talk department. And I'm sure I will not be able resist editing a bit more.

And then there is packing....

Oh, and trying to figure out my "face." I often go natural, but have begun to think a little makeup might not hurt. I have some. I've been experimenting a bit with that and the hair.

Today, at church, a good friend and I were talking. We were kind of side ways from each other. He said, "Oh, my gosh, what happened to your eye?"

"Make up"

"Oh, yeah. It was just the light. Really it looks good."

Sigh on my part. I didn't think I had done that bad of a job.

"It's just the light. Really. I think I'll stop talking now....."

Probably wise.

But it prompted me to get Jill's opinion on the makeup. (Did it look like someone hit me?) She liked the purple eye makeup and the bit of mascara (I never do mascara or eye makeup). She thought it looked fine! But then the lights were up higher....

He's forgiven, but I have to give him a hard time about it.

We'll see if I decide to risk it at She Speaks.

Oh, and then there are the talks. Let's not talk about them. They are more undone than done. Lots of thoughts but little on paper.

Please keep praying!

Chronicling Hope and a Question for YOU

I'm off and visiting other blogs (when I should be writing), but I have to come back to my blog to pick up a few links. As I was doing my blog hopping, I noticed the top of my blog archives says "111". That means that I have blogged here 111 times. Because I like even numbers, I'm making this blog so that it will be 112!

But really, when I started I thought I would blog once or twice a week. The pictures and quotes are a bit misleading (back dated to make the links at the navigation bar at the top). I really started blogging here in early December. That means I average a blog every couple of days.


That is kind of amazing to me. Even more amazing is that people read and leave nice little comments. I love the give and take of it.

What do I blog about? Everything. It seems that my life has turned into one big, bloggy event. Everything is fodder for the blog. And it has increased my fascination with my camera. It's so fun to illustrate.

So, really, what do I blog about:

• My cats. It's amazing how prominently they are featured and that they provide so much material.




• Friendships. Relationships are huge for me. I'm always trying to think through those.




• Singleness. Though, while I mention it some, this hasn't been as big of a pull for me as I thought it might. However, I've appreciated all of you married people out there leaving your words of encouragement.




• Kids. I love kids, so my adventures with them -- if it is ice skating or watching them nap on the couch with a cat -- all go into blogdom.




• God. This blog is meant to be about God's work in the day to day things of life. As I've sought to write about Him, it is amazing all the ways He has shown himself to me.




• I would be remiss if I didn't mention that this blog is about HOPE. I started it on a mission to write weekly about hope. Of those 111 posts, 48 are hope related or part of what I call Hope Chronicles. A friend told me the other day that she starts reading and wonders how I will bring it around to hope. (The Hope Chronicle title gives it away.) Yet, she said that I always manage to, that I come at hope from all different angles.

As I've sought to prepare, God keeps bringing this image to mind:

Isn't it amazing where things grow? Rocks wouldn't seem to be a good flowerbed, but here they are with just a little soil. With God, we can find hope in the most unlikely places.

Writing about hope has been my way of combating depression. While, I still do the other things to help, it has been the first time I've made such a concerted effort to turn the wave of my thoughts. It has been a blessing and a wonderful choice.

I'm going to She Speaks. I'm working on a book proposal about hope. It's not meant to just be for those who are depressed. I want it to reach a broader audience. But, I need 3 chapters. I've got some ideas and have started and stopped various things. But now I am starting to panic. It is so close....

I thought I would ask, if you've read some of my stuff on hope or even if you are new to my site, does any one stand out to you? No, I'm not asking you to spend hours reading -- unless you want to. But if there was one idea that grabbed you and you remember it, could you leave me a note? I'll hunt down the specifics. Just jot something like -- "The difference between your cats being a princess or stray" or "Your thought about the moon" or "Riding horses."

While I have the ideas and somethings started, I think this would help me know what speaks to people and some encouragement as I stay up late and get up early to write and to speak. (I opted for the speaker's track officially, but I'm really doing a combination.)

I'm going on June 19th. And the conference starts the late afternoon of the 20th. But since I'm there early, they gave me early appointments on the 20th (11:30 and noon) for my book proposal. I am meeting with an agent and the representative from Howard House.

Please pray!

Food Wars

In an attempt to fight a slowing metabolism and lose some weight, I've been packing my lunch religiously since the first of the year. This winter I took homemade soup and an apple. As the weather has changed the last week or so, I've moved to a sandwich and an apple as well as a healthy walk. (I don't want to be confined to a microwave and a spoon and bowl.)



Today was not my day. I realized too late that I didn't have any deli meat and would have to resort to peanut butter and jelly. I love peanut butter in cookies and such. But even as a kid, I didn't take to PB&J. But, it was all I had on hand, so made myself a sandwich.



Said sandwich and apple was left on the kitchen table. I didn't realize it until too late and decided I would have to go out but make a wise choice on what I grabbed.



It could have worked, but it was raining at lunch. I don't mean a sprinkle. It was torrential and I didn't think my umbrella would even do much good. I was hungry, so I opted for a pop and M&M's. Seriously, there was nothing else. Okay, I could have had water, but I was tired from a late night at B&N and craved the sweetness.



My lunch was mysteriously missing when I got home. Okay, that isn't quite true. I found the remnants of the Meijer plastic bag, a shredded napkin, and an otherwise untouched apple on the floor. Guessing that my ravenous little monster had made off with the sandwich, I looked all over the kitchen, living room, and under the beds while she ate her dinner. Did she eat the plastic sandwich bag as well as as an entire sandwich? Was I going to stumble on cat puke at any moment as a result?



Stowed far behind a couch I found this:



I'm not sure how Mali managed to eat the part in the middle, but I am sure that she ingested some plastic. (No cat puke yet, though! I think she must have an iron stomach.) I am glad she didn't eat the entire thing, but given where it was stowed, I will wager she was saving it for later! I'm just thankful that the plastic appears to have saved the carpet.

Thus, I wage daily food wars on two fronts.

First is with Mali. Everything edible and some inedible things must be securely stored. If I make cookies, I no longer leave them in Tupperware on the counter. They must got into the cupboard or the container will be knocked on the floor and gnawed on!


My other one is with my choices. I've hovered between losing 17-20lbs since the first of the year. Five weeks ago, I decided I wanted to lose another 10 before She Speaks June 20-22. Nothing is budging. I need to declare the war more loudly. While losing another 10 in two weeks and keeping it off probably isn't realistic, I will work towards 4.

I've fudged on my pop only every 2-3 days declaration. This may mean I need new resolve.


And hopefully it won't pour at lunch so I can walk!