Resume

I got up really late for church this morning. I just kept hitting that snooze button. Apparently, after a certain point, the snooze button gives up. (I am serious about this. I've experienced it a couple of times, but I'm not sure what the magic number of snooze times is. I've been too tired catching just a few more moments to count it out.) So, I bolted awake at 8:55 and literally dashed through the shower. (I hate not getting a morning shower.) Somehow, I managed to make it downtown by 9:17. We typically start at 9:15, but I don't think we started until 9:20 or so today.

Today's sermon was on serving. If you read the previous two posts, you'll notice that is something I am struggling a bit with. It isn't a lack of desire to serve. I think I have that. But, for the moment, I feel as if I've been benched. While God is working on some things, it's not necessarily fun. Some days are better than others. I was feeling pretty up going into church even though I was rushed. I struggled as I walked out.

I can come up with a lengthy resume of service going back to my junior high days and working in the church nursery. I've taught various ages of Sunday School kids, helped as a Young Life Leader while in college, volunteered with a kid in the local residential treatment center for five years, . . . . I've served in the church and out of the church. I've helped individuals in various ways. I've watched kids so parents can go out, though some of the kids have outgrown me at this point. So, I'm not even doing that much anymore.

So, I have a resume, but I don't think I ever thought that it would save me. I still don't believe that it will or would or whatever. But today, I was painfully aware of not having some role. Perhaps that is the crux of the matter. I've too often found my identity in what I do rather than whose I am.

Whose I am is more important than what I do. Pray that the knowledge of that would sink deep in my soul and that I can find joy in serving in the little things like clearing my neighbor's drive when it snows or praying quick prayers for people based on the books they buy (ex: various illnesses, grief, and such). I think that either they must be going through that or someone they care for is.

What I do should be a reflection of whose I am -- title or resume worthy or not.

40 to 40 (Gratitude 11)

I am thankful for my church. I go to a nondenominational church called Crosswinds. I'm not sure of the year, but I think it started 8 or 9 years ago with some people in my pastor's living room praying and dreaming about starting a church.

I've been going there now for 4-5 years. One of the things I'm grateful for is that people are very involved. Recently, we purchased a building from an aging congregation. We went from this warehouse:




to this 97 year old building that was filled with 97 year's worth of stuff! It was amazing how many people helped on the remodeling that was done. (My contribution was food and hauling stuff like wood to the burn pile and carpet to the dumpster. Yes, I am very skilled in these types of things . . . .)


We've moved from the edge of town into a neighborhood. There is a real desire to serve the neighborhood we are in. The pastor planned a lunch for the neighborhood school teachers before school started. We are also a polling place. One person spearheaded the idea of feeding the election officials at our site from 5:30 AM to 10:00 PM. A variety of people contributed.

So I'm thankful for a church that has people who are really involved and that wants to reach out.

Not Really Alone

Thanks for all the thoughts on today's earlier post. I really appreciate it. If you haven't chimed in, please feel free too.

I've thought about it a lot today. I'm not sure what the answer is. But please pray with me about this whole issue of alone. It is very real. But I wonder if my fear of it should be allowed to over ride my decision making. I have been doing ppt as an act of service. Should the alone factor weigh so heavily that I don't do it.

I believe in KidStuf and want to help. So, the other question is if there is a better fit for me, something I can get passionate about? I don't know that answer off the top of my head. But I did email a friend and asked to get together to talk about it.

And if I am suppose to keep doing it, I pray God will make that clear and ease that fear.

I'm drawn back to Prince Caspian. Aslan tells Lucy that much time has been wasted. Lucy says something to the effect of, "I couldn't have left the others and come up to alone, how could I? . . . . I suppose I could. Yes, and I wouldn't have been alone, I know, not if I was with you."

So, there is that reality. I would not really be alone. And I would not just have God but the rest of people working on KidStuf going in the same direction even if I was in a loft in the corner with God doing my bit.



As soon as I'm done reading all the Narnia books, I promise to let up on the Narnia quotes!