Afraid of What We Triumphantly Faced Before

"Hadley, leave it!"

Pounding feet and barking greet my ears.

"Hadley! LEAVE IT!"

Occasionally, she will leave it. It (in many cases) is my cat Mali. Don't get me wrong, for a cat and dog they actually do reasonably well together. But, sometimes Mali boxes Hadley's ears for no apparent reasons. Other times, even the slightest movement on Mali's part results in a game of chase and barking on Hadley's part.

As annoying as these moments are (especially since leaving a running cat is next to impossible for my pup), I have noticed something interesting. Hadley is obviously not afraid of Mali. As a general rule, she does not cower around her. She and Mali sometimes sit calmly nose to nose. And she chases her. Who chases what they are afraid of?

As well as "leave it," Hadley and I are also working on "Come." She's actually doing fairly well with this. She will scamper to me with her tail wagging and is typically rewarded with a treat.

However, there are times when this is not the case. For example, the other morning she had chased Mali upstairs. Since "leave it" was not working, I called for her to come.

Silence.

I called again.

Mournful barking.

Curious, I went to the bottom of the stairs only to find Mali (whose is almost exactly half Hadley's size) barring the way. Hadley's head was down and she was admitting pitiful whines. She wanted to obey but Mali sat there triumphantly -- the queen of the castle -- blocking her way.

The scenario was comical, but it also begged a question. Why was Hadley giving chase one moment and cowering the next?

The scene tugged the story of Elijah (1 Kings 17-19) to mind. Elijah lived during a time when it was dangerous to be a prophet of God. God had the prophets in hiding. For a couple of years, God took care of Elijah in miraculous ways -- being fed by ravens and later an unending and miraculous supply of flour in a widow's house. In the third year, God decides it is time to confront the evil king Ahab and queen Jezebel.

Through Elijah, God confronts Jezebel's prophets of Baal. They both build altars and declare that the god who answers with fire is the true god. Baal's prophets go first and call on Baal -- slicing themselves and dancing to get his attention -- morning to past midday. No answer.

Elijah's turn. The altar is built and he pours water on the sacrifice and altar three times. There is trench around the altar and the water fills the trench. Then Elijah prays to God and fire comes down, burns up the offering, and laps up the water in the trench. God answered. Elijah had all the prophets of Baal put to death.

It was a great victory for Elijah and an even bigger victory for God. But Jezebel is not cowed. She is angry. She vows that she will kill Elijah -- whom God has protected and done mighty works through. Perhaps we can understand her anger.

But the perplexing bit is Elijah. He turns and runs. And when he interacts with God, he whines about his plight.

What changed? Did God abandon Elijah when Jezebel threatened? No. God never changes. Rather than look at the God who had just displayed His might and authority, the God who had cared for him in miraculous ways, Elijah turned his back and looked instead at his circumstances.

With his back to God, he stared intently on the threat on his life.

Don't get me wrong. I understand it. Been there. Done that. But it is a reminder to me. When I feel afraid or panicked or hopeless, where are my eyes? Are they on my God or on myself and my circumstances?

Sometimes a cat can look like a lion. At those moments, we need God's vision to put everything back in perspective.

How can you adjust your vision today?

Why 40 to 40?

In 41 days I will turn 40. You know the BIG deal 40. Okay, I suppose for some people a different age is the one that pushes the edge, but turning 40 makes me nervous. The problem is that I think it makes me nervous for all the wrong reasons. It makes nervous that I'm not married or even dating anyone. It makes me nervous that I don't have children. It makes me nervous that I still sometimes wonder what I am going to be when I grow up.

Mostly, it makes me nervous because I trust God so little and instead of seeing what He has given me, I only see what I don't have.

Forty is a big Biblical number. It rained 40 days and 40 nights. The people of Israel wandered 40 years. Elijah ran for 40 days in the wilderness to a mountain cave where He heard God speak in a whisper. Jesus was tempted by Satan in the wilderness for 40 days but then Mark tells us the angels attended Him.

So, a lot of things happen around 40. Some of it bad like wandering as a punishment but other good things like hearing God in a whisper. I want to mark my 40 years in a positive way. I want to practice the attitude of gratitude.

Simply put, for the next 40 days there will be at least one post a day that is simply something I am grateful for. It could be a person, a thing, a event, a positive comment someone made. Maybe it is a happy story from when I was a child. Whatever it is, it has to be positive.

I think it will be interesting to come up with 40 positives about my 40 years. So if you see a post marked "40 to 40 (35)" that means it is a 40 to 40 post and is gratitude number 35. They say it takes 30 days to change a habit. Pessimism has probably marked my first 40 years. I'd love to see that change to optimism and gratitude for the next 40 years.

Anyone want to join my 40 to 40 club? You don't have to be turning 40. Rather you may just want to practice gratitude for 40 days. If you do, leave a comment below. I'd love ot have some company on this trip. It will all start tomorrow!

If you join the 40 to 40 club or not, please pray for me when you see one of these posts. Pray that it will be more than a head exercise. Pray that it will be an exercise and conditioning of my heart.




PS: Yes, this is about being grateful for what I have. But I also want to be honest. My heart longs for a husband and kids. I struggle with the idea of singleness being a gift. I often hear of people praying for their child's spouse but rarely (if ever) do I hear them say that they are praying their child would remain single.

Here is my going out on a limb even as I start 40 to 40. Would all of you who pray for your child's spouse pray for my spouse as well? Having asked for that, I'm off to be grateful for what God has done the last 40 years.

Follow the Tracks -- Hope Chronicles 14

It snowed Thursday night and into Friday morning. And it snowed and snowed and snowed. (I probably shouldn't be surprised given that I live in Central Illinois, but I always hate it anyway!) I knew the forecast before I went to bed. It called for 6-10 inches, so I allotted time in the morning for shoveling and was digging my way out in the 5am darkness. Because of the dirfts it came 3/4 of the way up my calves.

I backed out of the driveway and into the alley. Since it is an alley, it is typically one of the last things on the list for the road department to plow. My wheels spun in the snow. I rocked the car backwards and forwards. At that point, there was only one set of tracks in the snow. I instinctively knew that if I wanted to get out of the alley, I needed to follow those tracks.

So, that's what I did. Even when the tracks ventured right when I would normally go left, I followed them to the right. Together we looped around the subdivision and finally spilled out onto a main street. It wasn't the way I would normally go, but I'm convinced that if I hadn't ventured out of them, I would have been completely stuck.


It seems like everything in life right now is pointing me towards hope. The tracks in the snow are no different.

Just like I needed to follow those tracks to get out of that alley, to follow them right when I would have gone left, sometimes I also need to follow the tracks of those who have gone before me.

One of my favorite Bible characters is the prophet Elijah. The story of Elijah can be found in 1Kings 17 and following. In chapter 18, God calls Elijah to a confrontation with Ahab and the prophets of Baal. It's a wonderful story. I would encourage you to read it! Here it is in brief: Elijah challenges the propehts of Baal to a contest. Whose ever god answers with fire on the altars they built, he would be god. Elijah lets Baal's prophets go first. They dance and scream and entreat Baal to answer them. As time drags on, Elijah taunts them. In verse 27-28 (NIV) it says, "Surely he is a god! Perhaps he is deep in thought, or busy, or traveling. Maybe he is sleeping and must be awakened." So they shouted louder and slashed themselves with swords and spears, as was their custom, until their blood flowed. Midday passed, and they continued their frantic prophesying until the time for the evening sacrifice. But there was no response, no one answered, no one paid attention."

Then Elijah has his turn. He digs a trench around the altar and pours water on it so it runs off the altar and into the trench. God answers in a mighty way with fire from heavent that burns up the sacrafice and even laps up all the water in the ditch! Elijah and the Israelites slay the prophets of Baal.

As is so often the case, after an emotional high, Elijah plummets emotionally. He hears that Jezebel is furious and wants to kill him. He flees. Emotionally exhausted, he sits in front of a broom tree and prays to die. God sends an angel with sustenance. Then he travels to Horeb for 40 days and comes to a cave. God calls Elijah into his presence in chapter 19. It says, "Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. "

God was not in the rock shattering wind. He was not in the eartquake. He was not in the fire. When God came, He was in the whisper! How often do I miss God because I am too busy or loud or . . . ? God is often in the whisper.

Elijah (as I probably would) immediately whines to God that he is the only one left and people are after him. Yes, the great prophet whines even after the miracles he has seen. God puts it all in perspective, He gives him a mission (go back) and lets him no that Elijah is not alone -- there are 7,000 in Israel who have not bowed to Baal. And God is sending Elijah a partner.

What tracks can we follow that God and Elijah lay down for us here?

• Rest when you need to. God provided a rest and sustenance for Elijah in the desert.



• Look for God in the whisper as well as the big things of life. Maybe find a quiet spot or quiet time when you can hear Him more clearly.



• Whining doesn't work! Keep things in perspective. How could Elijah think he was the only one when there were 7,000 of God's faithful still in Israel. He did what I often do, he looked at the surface of things rather than reality. He took his eyes off the God who had so miraculously came through and let fear get the best of him.



• Get moving. Energy breeds energy. Get back on task.

Where is the hope? God always leaves us tracks to follow. It's up to us if we will follow those who came before or get stuck in the snow.

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I did make it into work and worked for about and hour and a half before my boss called me at the office and let me know we would be closed due to the weather! So, I got to come home and do things around the house. While I was trying to take a nap, I realized that Katy had a lot of dandruff/dry skin. (It shows especially on her dark fur.) While cats do clean themselves, its recommended to give them a bath occassionally. It helps get rid of some of the extra fur and takes care of those hard to reach places. They weren't happy and left me to my own devices the rest of the day! I think they were mad I redid their meticulously done hair without permission!