Saying "Wait" -- Hope Chronicles 30

I've always been a bit of a saver. When I was a child, my allowance always went into the pottery type doll bank that sat on my dresser. When I was 10, my parents took us to start savings accounts. As we got older (early high school), my parents started upping the amount of money they gave us. It was agreed upon that that everything (school clothes, Christmas presents, etc) came out of that money. I never asked my my parents for extra. And then I also babysat a ton. Money just seemed to come easy.



Even after college, things have been tight at times, but it has always seemed that there was enough. If I wanted something, I saved here and there for it and got it in a reasonable amount of time. But, money has been extremely tight lately -- we are talking months and months. I thought I had it all figured out.... And I probably made some bad choices.



Last week was a struggle emotionally. There is a certain item I would like to update. I've started stuffing a bit here and there in the envelope and last week went just to look. Bad move! First, the item was more expensive than I had anticipated. Second, it was on sale -- only until Saturday. So, I did the figures in my mind and then on paper and redid them about seven times.



That sounds smart doesn't it? It is unless you base a significant chunk of your figures on "If this happens and I get this many hours . . . or I don't eat . . . ." You get the drift.



But Saturday, I woke up feeling VERY blah. I tried the figures one more time. And I recalled that it was only on sale the rest of the day! And, of course, getting it would make me feel better. (Feelings are the basis of all great financial decisions -- not.)



And since I'm taking Dave Ramsey' Financial Peace class I went to the bank and took out some cash. I drove to the store and parked the car. And just as Dave says, it's hard to part with cash. I sat in the car and counted it. It was all there and I already knew that. But I also knew I would be paying in a significant increase in stress if I used it all. Some of it was legitimately scrimped and saved on fun money but some of it should really go towards bills.



Feeling a bit dejected I drove back to the bank and redeposited what I had taken out and went home and stowed away the savings toward the coveted item . . . . It may not be on sale when I have enough in a few months -- but as the saying goes, at least I won't be "robbing Peter to pay Paul."



Two days later, I feel a little more peaceful about it. I'm so glad it's not on sale anymore!



But it is hard to wait. The world says we need everything now, now, now. It's not just with our finances. Even our food has to be fast. How did we ever manage without microwaves?



Often we fall into the same trap spiritually. We want the growth now or the problem zapped or . . . . But God doesn't often work on our time table. Sometimes He says, "Wait."



Think about Abraham. God told him that he would make him into a great nation and that his descendants would out number the stars. It was a solid and true promise, but there was a long wait involved. In fact, Abraham didn't see it fulfilled until he got to meet God in heaven and watch it unfold from there.



Waiting is hard. But God never promised us a quick, speedy journey. Rather, He promised to be with us along the way. As we wait, we wait with eager expectation with God and that is the basis of our hope.

Odds and Ends

It's late -- 12:12 AM to be exact. I'm tired but my mind is going. I actually just got off of work at the bookstore about 40 minutes ago. I've been on my feet for 5 1/2 hours. So, this post may be a bit off from my usual posts. It's an attempt to declutter my brain so I can sleep.

Working at the bookstore has been interesting. Actually, working at the county has been interesting too. Anytime you have an ounce of customer service to perform -- its interesting. You learn a lot about people.

Anecdotes and Observations:

• Communication is harder than you think. I'm coming to believe that listening is a lost art. Tonight, a girl bought a book. She wanted to spend the remainder of her gift card after we had already completed the transaction. She grabbed a chocolate bar with raspberry filling and had me use the card for it. I told her she owed $1.24 as the card didn't cover the entire thing. She began almost frantically looking for another item to total $1.24. Clearly, she didn't understand, had missed that she owed rather than still had money on the card.
• In every business you get the regulars and the um, shall we say, irregulars. Tonight, we had a gentleman show up in his shirt, shoes, socks, and underwear -- briefs to be exact. He spent a long time reading on how to become a success. It made a coworker wonder if any of the books covered the importance of wearing pants . . . . This same coworker pointed out that the sign only said -- no shirt, no shoes, no service. It left out pants!
• For my other job, I set up user accounts for the website. It's not as hard as it might sound. Anyway, I cannot begin to count how many people I have talked to who call and say they are having trouble with the site yet they have not actually tried putting in their user id and password that I emailed to them. It's almost if they assume that it won't work so they don't try it out.
• At 11:15 PM it is impossible to alphabetize. This is particularly true when coworkers start naming off random letters to help you lose your place.
• I work in a secular book store. Still, I would have thought that someone would have thought that a book on the Dali Lama might be out of place on the Easter table. Just a thought....
• The saying goes that "The customer is always right." I think this is a gross overstatement. Customers will argue over the smallest thing even if it is printed in black and white. You can explain all you want, but often they won't listen until it comes from a manager. Sigh. This includes arguing over a 20% discount on a $1.50 paper.
• For the county, we reject documents that don't meet certain standards. We print off a gold sheet that tells the company exactly why the document was rejected. I don't know if they don't read the sheet or just think that if they send t back through without having changed a thing, that it will magically make it. Some things get rejected several times for things that would be easy to fix.

You just never know what people are thinking (or not thinking)....

Take a Child by the Hand

There is an old French proverb that goes, "Who takes a child by the hand takes a mother by the heart." I don't know it from a mother's vantage point, but I understand it as one who has invested in children.

Today in the county office I work in, I got to play it out. We don't see very many children in our office, but a mom came in with two little ones in tow. One looked to be about 4 and the other about 2 1/2. She wanted to drop off a Quit Claim Deed to be recorded. While it is not always the case, we see these a lot when there is a divorce in the works. One spouse "quit claims" solely to the other. (There are other reasons as well, but this can be the situation.)

I started examining the document and noted that a couple things were missing. I double checked with a coworker who actually knew the mom from a distance in high school. He came up to help as I was explaining another form that needed to be filled out . . . . And the kids ran in and out the door and down the hall and spun on the stool. Mom picked the little boy up to keep him corralled and tried to listen as I explained. But listening was difficult since he was now sitting on the counter and kicking his feet and trying to figure out an escape route.

Since my coworker had walked up, I decided to opt out of the explaining. I held out my arms to the little boy and said, "Want to come see me?" To mom's surprise, he did. So, I invited him and his sister back to my desk where I let them pick out cat pictures (used page-a-day calendar sheets -- great for scratch paper or impromptu gifts for awed children) and transformed a piece of paper into an origami swan. (Something I learned from my second grade teacher many moons ago!)

They were thrilled and mom thanked me twice. I feel like even in that small interaction, I took her children by the hand and took her by the heart. I gave her a moment's peace and possibly a sprinkling of hope. I'd like to think I did that.

I don't believe in past lives, but if I did, I think I must have been a preschool teacher at one time. In another life, I was probably a lion tamer since I am so in to teaching Mali tricks at the moment. Maybe the two go hand in hand -- taming preschool children?

$2.62 and the Rules -- Hope Chronicles 29

They do not provide parking where I work. Free unlimited parking is about 3-4 blocks away and possibly more depending on when you arrive. If you park closer, you have to move your car every 90 minutes and then it cannot be moved within a 1 block radius or you get a ticket. (This happened to a coworker.)

There is a parking garage immediately across the street, but it is run by the city and there is a monthly fee. It's more expensive to pay by the day. Anyway, the walk is good for me. However, rain, snow (There is some in the forecast!), and sleet make me willing to pay on the particularly blustery days or when I have to hurry to be somewhere after work. There have been a rash of those days this week.

Two days ago, the parking attendant mentioned to me that since the rails were up, people were exiting without paying. He told me, if the rails are still up tomorrow, just go out the back where there isn't an attendant and that everyone else was doing it.

Okay, I had noticed the rails were up, but it had never dawned on me not to stop to pay. I also didn't know about going out the back.

Yesterday, as I got in my car I had the debate. The rails were still up and the parking attendant had suggested the back way. But I found that I couldn't do it. I had chosen to park in the garage for convenience and I owed.... I think I truly surprised the attendant when I told him I just couldn't do it. He gave me a genuine smile and said, "Just when I get ready to give up on humanity, someone does something nice!" Paying $2.62 (it was my short day) never felt so nice!

As you have surmised, I follow rules. Part of it for me is respect and if I think the rules are for my benefit. I've had a few people comment, "You drive at 10 and 2!" in reference to my hand position when driving. That's what my driver's ed teacher told me to do 23 years ago. He also told me not to eat while driving because you can't really see over that Big Mac. While I do occasionally do this, I try not to and get anxious enough doing it that it is a deterrent. I've never had a speeding ticket. Yes, I play by the rules.

I was an Interpersonal Communication major in undergrad. I remember learning about a study that was conducted on children on playgrounds. Researchers discovered that children on playgrounds without fences (rules) hovered together more in the center of the playground. When there was a fence, the children explored the entire playground. The fence/rules provided a sense of safety.

I think the same is true of rules for us as Christians. God provided the rules not to put a damper on things but to give us a sense of safety. While sometimes the rules may seem to chafe, ultimately they are in place for our good.

The hardest time to follow the rules is when we doubt the intention of the one who created the rules. Isn't that where Satan attacked in the Garden of Eden. He didn't come out and say that rule is silly or wrong. Rather, he suggested that God was holding back on Adam and Eve. He made them doubt God's character.

We can find hope in knowing that God's intentions towards us is always, always for our best. Knowing that sets us free to be who God created us to be. And following the rules even when you could just go out the back may turn in to an unlikely witness!

Not Why but Who -- Hope Chronicles 28

Katy, my older cat, loves to sleep next to me. I lie on my side and hold the blanket up and she curls up next to my tummy as I let the blankets gently cover her. Often, I can't hear her purr, but as I rub her belly I can feel the vibrations, the contentment. It's a soothing ritual the two of us have developed.

As you have guessed, I like cats. I also like useless bits of trivia. Without using Google see if you know the following:

1. Only one type of cat lives in a group and it is _________.
2. The first state to ratify the constitution was _________.
3. The first female doctor was _____________.
4. Why do hummingbirds hum? (No, it isn't, he he, that they don't know the words)
5. The movement to get women the right to vote began in 1848. How many years did it take to achieve it?
6. How many stripes are on the American flag?
7. What Midwestern city adds coco to it's famous chili and what is the brand name?

Stop right now and write down the answers. No peeking as I've put them at the very bottom. I'll send a small gift card to whomever gets the most right first. (You can only play in the next 48 hours!) You are all on the honor system.

That was a long prelude to what this post is really about -- that "Why?" question. Even more than knowing useless bits of trivia, I like to understand the why of things. I like to know why it works and why you don't do it this other way. I like to know why things need to be this way rather than that way. I don't know that I actually pestered my parents so much with the questions. (I would have gotten immediate consequences if I had not had immediate obedience.) But, to the extent I was able, there was a quest for "Why?"

Even today, "why" still comes into play. Please don't tell me to do something without explaining the reason behind it. In my mind, comprehension is everything.

I don't think I'm that far off from a lot of people. I may do it more than most in day to day interactions, but when the really big things happen, we all find ourselves asking "Why?"

November 2006 I started dating Bill. After the first date, we pretty much saw each other every day. We hit a rough patch the end of March, but I anticipated getting back together. I didn't think it was a forever break. I thought we both needed to get our bearings. After all, we had been moving pretty fast over the last several months -- to the point that we had spoken of marriage. Bill had vowed, "I'd marry you tomorrow if you'd let me."

The middle of April Bill suffered an aortic aneurysm. His gentle heart split open. They managed to do surgery and he lingered a few days, but he never truly came around. I got to talk to him and pray with him in a one-sided kind of way, but we never had the final conversation that I longed for.

When it first happened I went to a grief support group for a time. Eventually, I needed it less and less. But tonight I went back. That year anniversary is coming quickly and I don't want to be caught off guard. Anniversaries can be tricky to navigate.

Lots of people in the room had much more recent losses than mine -- November, December, January. And several expressed "why" questions. "Why so quickly?" "Why with all the medical advances?" "Why wasn't I there at the very end? I only left for a moment."

It was interesting because everyone in the room tonight expressed some type of faith. That hasn't always been the case. I came away thinking that "why" questions have their merits, but the better question is "Who?"

• Who walked this earth and is intimately acquainted with our grief? (Isaiah 53:3)
• Who wept when His friend died? (John 11:35)
• Who comforts those who walk through the valley of the shadow of death? (Psalm 23)
• Who prepares a table before us in the presence of our enemies? (Psalm 23)
• Who has compassion on the heavy laden? (Matthew 11:28)
• Who rejoices over us with singing? (Zephaniah 3:17)

Knowing the "why" pales in comparison of knowing the WHO that is Jesus who has welcomed our loved ones home and stands with arms open wide to comfort us in our grief as we wrestle with the "why". Just as Katy snuggles in close to me, we can snuggle into Jesus.

And I was serious about that small gift card! Leave me those answers..... and then check to see if you are right!

Answers:

1. Lions 2. Delaware 3. Elizabeth Blackwell 4. It's the sound that their wings make from moving so fast. 5. 72 years with the first legal voting happening in 1920 6. 13 -- one for each of the original colonies 7. Cincinnati's Skyline Chili -- very yummy. Of course, I grew up on it . . . .

My Hope Is Built -- Hope Chronicles 27

As a college student, I fought the whole idea of singing hymns. They seemed antiquated and outdated. Just before my senior year, I spent a summer at InterVarsity's Student Leadership Training (SLT). It was fun and stretching month. While we sang more contemporary songs, there was also a healthy dose of old hymns mixed in. I came to love some of the theology in them.

Now, I am in a church where we mostly sing contemporary Christian music. Much of it has merit, but it doesn't have the anchor of hundreds of thousands of Christians through the ages singing it. Many of our worship leaders are younger. About a year ago, I was trying to put power point together for the service. We were going to sing Amazing Grace (one of the few hymns that make it in). I asked about which verses and he rattled off numbers. But when they sang, they seemed to skip one. I forget which one it was and I called his attention to it because it meant the numbers he had given me didn't match up. He was genuinely surprised it was a real verse and not something someone had recently made up!

The last few days, I have been thinking about this song -- My Hope Is Built On Nothing Less. It's never been one of my favorites. If hymns come to mind they tend to be Amazing Grace, Be Thou My Vision, And Can It Be, Great Is Thy Faithfulness.... So, I've been a bit surprised to find this hymn rattling around in my brain.

"My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus blood and righteousness." What amazing words. While I know they are true, I also know that I find myself falling into the folly of thinking that there must be something I can do to "be good enough." I don't necessarily come right out and say it. But there is a "worker bee" mentality to me. If I can be kind enough, helpful enough, smart enough, good enough.

But that's where the second part comes in -- "no merit of my own I claim, but wholly lean on Jesus name." Nothing I do has enough merit. That is a humbling place to be. It really flies in the face of the American ideals -- the rags to riches, work hard enough, it only matters that you tried . . . .

While God may appreciate our efforts to get to know Him, He knows that in and of themselves, they are never enough. He knew that if my efforts were placed on the scales of justice against my sin, it would never be enough. So, He gave us the cross.

And it is more than enough for me and you . . . . So, while those things I do are good and God does call us to serve each other, I need to still my worker bee mindset and rest in knowing that my hope is built on Jesus blood and righteousness. No frantic trying is needed. For when Jesus died and rose again, it was simply -- enough.

Redeem -- Hope Chronicles 26

I love words. I love stringing them together to create meaning. I love beautifully crafted sentences that make me pause and read them again. For good or evil, words also have power. I try -- though I don't always succeed -- to be careful with my words.

Perhaps it is my love affair with words that makes my heart trill over the opening of the book of John. "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made." Jesus is the Word. God spoke and the world was created. I love that.

Our language (individually and as a culture) show us what is important to us. Did you know that the Eskimos have 32 different words for our single word "snow"? Thirty-two! I can only think of a handful of words that have to do with snow: snow, flurries, sleet, freezing rain, blizzard. Four to five words (depending on how you count "freezing rain") compared to thirty-two. That speaks volumes as to the centrality and importance of snow to the Eskimos.

I'm always fascinated to learn the original Greek or Hebrew word for something. As with the Eskimos, sometimes there are multiple words for something we lump into one word. What is it that makes English or American culture just lump things together or always look for the short cut. Here's my anguished prediction, in a matter of years, we are going to completely de-evolve into just using letters as if we were texting -- bff, lol, dml, and xyz!

This week God has had me thinking about the word "redeem." From a purely cultural/secular standpoint, what do you most readily think of redeeming. Coupons was what I first came up with. And what do they usually have written on them. "Not redeemable for cash" or "No cash value." In other words, it is only good for this one particular item on this particular time and probably you have to buy two or more . . . .

But that is so far from God's perspective on redemption. Christians may know this, but does it ever impact our view or use of the word "redeem"?

I looked up redeem on the internet. Here is some of what I found:

• to exchange for money or goods
• to discharge or fulfill (as in a pledge)
• to make up for; to make amends
• to obtain the release or restoration of, as from captivity, by paying a ransom.
• to deliver from sin and its consequences by means of a sacrifice offered for the sinner.

The last two -- release from captivity and deliver via a means of sacrifice for a sinner -- both closely fit the Christian concept of redemption. We are released from the captivity of sin. Jesus was the sacrifice on our behalf.

I don't know the Greek or Hebrew for it. But I think even those two definitions are somewhat lacking. Yes, there is a release paid for by a sacrifice. But more than that, I think it is a making whole of something that was splintered and fragmented. Our relationship with God was splintered and fragmented. Jesus brings us back into a "whole" relationship with God.

To be truthful, it is probably a "becoming" because we probably couldn't handle being thrust directly into God's presence at this moment. But is a "becoming" with the assurance of the the final end.

So, I have two questions to ponder. First, am I leading a "whole/redeemed" life? Second, am I helping those around me to lead that kind of life?

One of my favorite quotes from CS Lewis is this:

"It is a serious thing to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship or else a horror and a corruption such as you meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long, we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or the other of these destinations. It is in the light of those overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealing with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people."

We can have hope because we are redeemed and whole. May we be mindful to help those around us to that redeemed and whole place safe in God's hands.